


Remember Who You Are

by summer_borngirl77



Series: I'll Catch You One Day [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF Natasha Romanov, Bisexual Sam Wilson, Bucky Barnes Is a Good Bro, Deaf Clint Barton, Gay Steve Rogers, Hurt Sam Wilson, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hydra (Marvel), Implied/Referenced Natasha Romanov/Sam Wilson, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Modern Bucky Barnes, Multi, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Not Marvel Cinematic Universe Phase Two Compliant, POV Alternating, Post-Avengers (2012), Precious Peter Parker, Role Reversal, Sam Wilson as the Winter Soldier, Sam Wilson-centric, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, Steve Rogers-centric, The Avengers (2012) Compliant, Tony Stark Is a Good Bro, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2020-05-13 22:44:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 41,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19260676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/summer_borngirl77/pseuds/summer_borngirl77
Summary: Steve Rogers has now woken up in 2012, where he has to adjust to a new world without his closest friends, and of course, Sam. He does it though, learning to deal with Tony Stark's brand of humor, high-speed technology, and SHIELD missions. Just when he starts adjusting and making new friends in this century, someone from his past comes back into his life, but it may not be the person he remembers...Sam Wilson is the Winter Soldier. He is an effective asset, and he completes all his missions swiftly and efficiently, undetected. On his biggest mission yet, he meets someone who unlocks the missing gaps in his memory. He realizes that if he ever wants to reunite with the man, he will have to remember who he is.AU where Sam and Bucky switch places, and Sam falls off the train and becomes the Winter Soldier.





	1. Adjusting

**Author's Note:**

> Out with part 2 of this thing! I would like to thank minergirl44 for being my beta!  
> If you're new to this story, reading part 1 is not necessary, but it couldn't hurt either. Part 1 is basically The First Avenger, with Sam in place of Bucky, and a romance between Steve and Sam.  
> Thank you for reading, and please, leave comments and kudos! Constructive crit is appreciated!

Steve lifted some debris off the ground and into one of the garbage trucks. He was helping with the cleanup after the attack on New York. Loki and the Chitauri had really done a number on the city and its buildings, and since Steve felt partially responsible and also he didn’t have much to do, he had no problem helping clean up. He had been doing it for the past two weekends, and most of the debris had been cleared. One of the leaders of the clean-up, Mandy Oliver walked up to him.

“Steve, you’ve been great these past two weeks.”

“Thanks Mandy. I think it’s amazing you’ve spearheaded all of this.”

“Well, the Avengers saved us, y’know? Figured us normal civilians needed to get in and help our city.”

“I wholeheartedly agree. Been a New Yorker my whole life. I feel pride in this city.”

“Really? Where are you from?”

“Brooklyn. You?”

“Manhattan. It’s great talking to a New Yorker. A lot of my friends are from out of the city, so they just don’t  _ get _ it.”

“My new coworkers are the same. None of them are homebred New Yorkers like me.”

Mandy laughed. “How do we deal?’

“No idea.” His phone buzzed.  _ Hey Capsicle, come over here, got a proposal for you. _ Steve sighed and put his phone back in his pocket. “I gotta go, Mandy. Work thing came up.”

“Bye Steve. Can we get a coffee sometime or…?”

“Sure Mandy. That sounds nice.”

“Here’s my phone number.” She scribbled out her number on a card, and handed it to him. “Can’t wait for you to call me.”

“Thanks Mandy.” He got on his motorcycle, and rode to the newly-designed Stark Tower. He got in the elevator. 

“JARVIS, where is Tony?”

“I’ll take you to him, Captain Rogers.”

“Thank you, JARVIS.”

Although he and Tony had gotten off on the wrong foot- partly because of the damned Tesseract (Steve really hated that thing) and partly because of prejudiced expectations- once they had sat down and actually talked to each other, they realized they had gotten each other wrong. Steve was getting used to Tony’s abrasive nature, noticing that once you were able to withstand it, Tony was a cool guy to hang out with. Although he’d never say it to Tony, he really did remind Steve of the parts he liked about Howard. He had heard about their differences, though, and it made him feel bad. He had also heard about the car accident that took the Starks’ lives, which again made him sad. Everyone, except for Peggy, was dead. He was actually planning his first meeting with Peggy in 10 days. 

When he reached the penthouse level, he saw Tony, who was with the Avengers, sans Thor, and Pepper. Tony greeted him with a warm smile and a friendly wave.

“Capsicle, nice to see you.”

Steve rolled his eyes, but in good nature. “You too, Tony. What is it you want to talk about?”

“So, two things with you, Cap, one thing with everyone else. So, I wanted to ask you guys about moving in?”

“In…?”   
“Here. In the Tower.”

“Really Stark?” Natasha seemed amused. 

“Yes.”

“Well, as much as I’d love to-”

“Then do it, Legolas.”

“I’m going to have to decline.”

“What? Why?”   
“SHIELD business.”

“I’m afraid I must decline as well, Stark. For the same reason as Clint.”

“Fine. Whatever Spy Kids. We don’t need you to have fun, because, Brucey…?”

“Well… I guess, I can, since I have no other place of residence…”

“Great! Capsicle, what about you?”

“I would like to live in New York a bit longer, at least before I go work for SHIELD.”

“ _ You’re  _ going to work for SHIELD?”

“Well… I don’t know yet. I might. But for now, no. I want to get to know about this new world.”

“Well, great. Spy Kids, Bruce, you guys can leave. Still gotta talk with Cap about something.”

They left, saying bye to Steve as they did. Pepper smiled at Steve.

“So, as I’m sure you know, a lot of people are excited by your return.”

“Yes.”

“So, a lot of people want to do interviews with you.”

“Really?”

“Captain, you’re a national icon and a hero. I remember learning about you in school.”

“Yeah so do I. Outside of it, too.”

Pepper ignored him. “Of course people want to interview you. And since I’m your guys’ unofficial PR team until we actually hire one, which I need to get on sooner rather than later, I will help you with your interview.”

“You’ll be there or…?”

“I’ll give you advice.”

“Okay. So is this going to be a newspaper or radio?”

Tony and Pepper looked at each other before looking back at Steve. Pepper cleared her throat. “Uh, television actually..”

“Television? So more people have access to them now?”   
“Capsicle, most people have a TV now. It’s the future.”

“Well… I can do a television interview. Who will be doing it?”

“There’s three candidates I’m considering. There’s Patricia Navarro with NBC, Frederick Collins with CNN, and-” Pepper sighed. “Christine Everheart, with WHiH World News.”

“Why does that name sound familiar?”

Pepper rolled her eyes. “She’s interviewed you before.” She looked at Steve. “I wouldn’t recommend her.”

“Then why is she on your list?”

“Because she’s… well-known. A lot of people watch her and she has some journalistic influence. Still would not recommend her.”

“I  _ do _ recommend her.”

Pepper and Steve both raised an eyebrow at Tony. “Why, on earth, would you recommend Captain Rogers do the interview with her?”

“Because of all of those reasons.”

“She might spring some surprise question on him.”

“Yes, but she won’t mess with you, she knows better than that-”

“I’m standing here still.”

Pepper looked slightly embarrassed. “Right Steve. Well, Tony can show you how to go on YouTube videos, and you can watch them, decide who you want.”

“Thanks Pepper, for helping me out with this.”

“Of course.” Pepper kissed Tony on the cheek, “I’ll see you later, I need to see how Stark Industries is doing. Bye Captain.”

“Bye, Ms. Potts.”

Tony smiled at Steve. “Glad you’re staying, Capsicle.”

“Thank you for having me, Tony. I’ll be heading up to D.C. in 10 days.”

“You are? Why, Fury wants to talk to you?”

“No, I’m going up to see Peggy.”

“Ah yes. Dear old Dad talked about you and Aunt Peggy.”

“Did you just call her ‘Aunt Peggy’?”

“What? No, no I didn’t.”

Steve smirked at him, and Tony faked a scowl.

“Whatever Cap. Why don’t I help get you situated, and help you with the technology stuff.”

“Sounds like a plan to me.”

~~~

By the time Steve was going to see Peggy, he had learned the basics of how to use his phone (and had successfully plugged Mandy’s phone number in his phone), and had even learned to search up videos on YouTube (and because of Tony’s “help,” he was even able to find his Star-Spangled Man With a Plan videos). He decided that on the train trip to D.C., that he would search up interviews by those reporters that Pepper suggested. He looked up Ms. Navarro first, and watched her interview with a Republican senator from Oklahoma. She was professional enough, but she wasn’t very direct. Although she did let her subjects talk, which he liked, her questions were vague, and he didn’t think he had been in this century long enough to be asked vague questions. The next reporter, Frederick Collins, was also professional, although he would only expect professionals from Pepper’s short list. He was prone to interrupting his subjects, though, but his questions were more direct. He also did more celebrity interviews, and even though some people might have considered him a celebrity, he didn’t consider himself one. 

He read some books, history books, about the Civil Rights movement, between the Collins and Everheart videos. He was so happy to see that African-Americans (better term than ‘negro’ in Steve’s opinion) had been able to end segregation. The amount of bloodshed and abuse it had taken was ridiculous though. He could imagine he and Sam going down to Montgomery and marching with the protestors. Learning about Martin Luther King Jr. was eye-opening. This man deserved hero status for what he had done. Sam would’ve admired him. Steve sighed. After the whole battle of New York had settled down, he found himself thinking about Sam more. He got on his Stark Tablet, and finally searched up a Christine Everheart video. 

He quickly learned that Everheart was a tough, direct interrogator. Steve did appreciate that. This century was confusing enough, the last thing he needed in an interview were indirect or vague questions. She was also more argumentative than the other two interviewers, which Steve felt might come into negative conflict with his own stubbornness, not unlike him and Stark on the Helicarrier. He decided that he was going to eliminate Collins from his list. He really was going to have a hard choice deciding between Navarro and Everheart.

_ “L’Enfant Station, Washington D.C.” _

Steve put his things away, and got off the train. A cab driver had a sign holding up his name, and Steve walked up to him. The cab driver looked up at him in awe.

“Are you-”

“Can you be discreet?”

“Yes.” 

Steve got in the car, and gave the driver directions. He was looking at a picture from Peggy he had recovered from SHIELD archives. The picture was taken shortly after the war ended, according to Fury. It was her SSR photo, taken in ‘47. She looked as poise as she always had been. He was really nervous about meeting her. 

~~~

“Is that… is that you, Steve?”

He cautiously stepped into the room. Her once vibrant, brown hair was now white, and she looked small and frail, a word he had never even thought about using to describe Peggy. Her eyes still had their spark in them, and that was enough to make him smile. “Hi Peggy. It’s me.”

“I had heard that you were alive, and here you are.”

“Here I am.” Steve sat down next to her, taking her paper thin hands into his larger hands. He gently rubbed her hands, and tried blinking the tears out of his eyes. There were tears running down Peggy’s face. Steve gently rubbed them away.

“How are you, Peggy?”

“Fine. And you?”

“Alive, surprisingly.” Steve chuckled, albeit humorlessly. “I’m so glad to see you.”

“You too, Steve. You look well. I saw you on the telly, fighting against those aliens in New York.”

“Oh yeah. Aliens, can you believe it?”

Peggy chuckled weakly. “It does seem hard to believe. I suppose that’s the future for you.”

Steve smiled at her. “So, what happened with you, Peggy, after the war? I know you founded SHIELD, but what else?”

“Oh, being a spy, mostly. I got married, had a couple of kids-”

“You did? That’s great. I’m sure you were an amazing mom.”

Peggy smiled at him. “That’s sweet of you to say.” She blinked a few times, and looked up at him. “Is that you, Steve?”

Steve’s smile fell off his face. “Yes, Peggy. You… you just asked me that.”

She sighed. “Sorry about that. Sometimes an old woman forgets.”

Steve nodded his head, but he was reserved about it.

“Have you been to the Captain America exhibit at the Smithsonian?”

Steve began to laugh. “Captain America exhibit?”

“It’s quite popular.”

“I’m afraid I have not been. I should go see it sometime.”

“Oh, that reminds me. Open that drawer right there.”

Steve raised an eyebrow at her, but opened the drawer. “Oh my…”

“I wanted to make sure that you and Sam had a part of your private lives kept private. So I took some of your things and kept them secret. But since you’re alive, you should take them.”

Steve pulled out his old sketchbook, the one that he had instructed Peggy to take when he crashed the plane. He opened the sketchbook, and saw two pictures of him and Sam, one before the serum and one after. The last thing in the drawer, were Sam’s science fiction books,  _ Brave New World _ and  _ Frankenstein _ . He had  _ Brave New World  _ on him when they had first met. He picked them up, and opened the book, looking it over. He saw Sam’s notes scribbled on the inside of the book, and Steve put his hand to his hand to face, trying to hold back his tears. Peggy rubbed his arm.

“I’m glad that you can take back what is rightfully yours. Sometimes, at night, when I would miss the both of you, I would look over these. They were comforting.”

“Are you sure you don’t want-”

“Take them, Steve. They can comfort you now.”

“Thank you, Peggy.” He hugged her for a minute or two. When he pulled away, he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “We’re the only ones, huh?”

Peggy sadly nodded her head. “I’m afraid so. At least I have you to reminisce with.”

Steve smiled at her. “Yes. I’ll visit as often as I can.”

“I know you will, Steve. Don’t spend too much time on me.”

“Peggy-”

“I mean it, Steve. Acquaint yourself with this world. It’s your new home. Don’t spend too much time in the past.”

Steve looked down at his newly acquired things and nodded his head. “Okay Peggy.”

They hugged once more before he left. At the train station, someone gave him a flyer saying  _ Support Pride _ ! The letters were in rainbow colors, and Steve looked at the flyer in confusion.

~~~

“What’s Pride?”

“Jesus!” Tony jumped up, and glared at Steve, who returned a sheepish smile. “I have a heart problem, Capsicle, so if you could not go around the Tower freaking me out-”

“Sorry, Tony, really.”

Tony sighed. “It’s fine. What did you ask?” 

“What’s Pride?”

Tony spat out his coffee, and started laughing. Steve tilted his head to the side, trying to figure what Tony might’ve found funny about his sentence. Tony finally regained his breath.

“Sorry about that, Cap. Just… an unexpected question, you know?”

“No…”

“Pride is… well… Pride…”

“Pride,” Pepper cut in, making Tony jump once more and mutter,  _ I have a heart condition, people _ , “is the support of LGBT people and their rights.”

“LGBT…?”   
“Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender. There are some other identities in there, but that’s what the acronym stands for.”

“Gay, meaning, if you’re a fella who’s sweet on other fellas?”

Pepper nodded her head. Tony chuckled.

“The way he talks… it’s so… wholesome.”

“That’s a first,” Steve muttered, pulling out some orange juice. Pepper looked like she was going to say something until she saw the coffee on the ground.

“How did this happen?”

“Cap surprised me with the Pride question.”

“Oh Tony.” She looked at Steve. “Did that answer your question?”

“Yes. Thank you, Ms. Potts.”

“Steve…”

“I mean, Pepper.”

She smiled at him, then turned to Tony, and the two carried on with a conversation Steve could only guess had to do with Stark Industries. Steve looked at the flyer again, and decided to use his Stark Tablet.

~~~

He had learned a lot about the Pride movement. The Stonewall riots, the rise of the Religious Right condemning homosexuality, Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, civil unions in places like Vermont (the first to give same-sex couples the same rights as heterosexual couples), the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, and now the fight in the Supreme Court. It was ridiculous that same-sex marriage was still frowned and looked down upon, and Steve wondered if somehow he could do something about it. He was Captain America, and people respected that. It was enough where high schools wanted him to record videos instructing kids on manners and good behavior and such. Was there anything he could do about this?

Then he mulled over the question a little more, wondering if Captain America should be political. He did a quick Google (what an odd name) search of his name, and quickly learned that he had been used for political purposes. During the Civil Rights Movement, people used his desegregated unit was in favor of widespread desegregation, and on the flipside, during the rise of the so-called “Religious Right,” he was used for preserving old-fashioned American values. Since he was already used for political purposes, he figured that using his title for his own purposes wouldn’t be too out of bounds. He then tried to search up ways to help turn the public view on same-sex marriage and the court case. He learned of influential people “outing” themselves and using their clout to support LGBT rights. He could do that. He was nervous, but his therapist said it was important to be himself and to adapt to the world. People nowadays outed themselves, since the danger wasn’t as present as it had been in the 40s. He knew this upcoming interview would be a good place to bring it up, if it would be brought up. But which of the reporters would ask that?

After watching all of them again, he knew exactly who he wanted to interview him. 

“JARVIS, where’s Pepper?”

“Ms. Potts is in the common room with Mister Stark.”

“Thanks.” It was still a little weird talking to the… ceiling, but JARVIS was helpful, and really was an excellent example of Tony’s intelligence. When he got to the common room, he saw Tony and Pepper whispering sweet nothings to each other, not paying attention to the TV, reminding Steve of his and Sam’s time in Steve’s quarters. He cleared his throat, and felt bad for the blush and embarrassed look that came to Pepper’s face.

“Uh, yes, Steve?”

“I chose a reporter.”

“You did? That’s great, who?”

“Uh… Christine Everheart.”

Pepper gave him a confused look. “But I didn’t recommend her.”

“I know.”

“But she’s awful.”

“Well… she’s stern-”

“I’ve met her, Steve. She’s awful. This will be your first interview in this century-”

“And I don’t want it to be vague. Or constantly interrupted. Everheart is a tough interviewer and a little more on the biased side-”

“She hates me,” Tony said, rather proudly.

“But I want something direct. If you’d feel uncomfortable calling her-”

“No, it’s not a hassle, Steve. I’ll call her. You want to watch?”

“No thanks, it didn’t really seem like you guys were watching to begin with.”

Pepper blushed again, while Tony laughed.

“Look at Cap, being sarcastic.”

“Your generation acts like it invented sarcasm, Tony, but it didn’t.”

“You sound like every grandfather everyone has ever had.”

Steve left the room. “Bet you I look better,” he called over his shoulder. He heard Pepper burst out laughing, and smiled. Peggy had a point to focus on what this world had to offer. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How can you joke at a time like this? It’s like I’m a starlet or something. This seems like a bit- no, no, no.”  
> The makeup artist was coming at him with lipstick. Pepper covered her mouth to prevent herself from laughing.  
> “I’m sorry Captain Rogers, but you do need a little bit of lipstick.”  
> “No.”  
> “Steve, it’ll make your lips pop.” Pepper looked at the makeup artist. “Just a little bit for him.”  
> He closed his eyes as she dabbed his lips.  
> “There, that didn’t hurt, did it?”  
> “Are we done with makeup?”

“Here are the questions that she wants to ask. You can choose the questions that you would like to answer, and I’ll give it back to her.”

“Thanks Pepper.” Steve scanned the paper. “How do I choose?”

“Just pick which questions you’d feel comfortable answering.”

“Have you done interviews?”

“Yes. Ever since I took over as CEO of Stark Industries.”

“Is Stark Industries okay? Without you there?”

“It can survive a few more days without me. This is like a vacation.”

“I don’t think counseling me on interviews is really a vacation.”

“It’s been more than that.”

Steve looked at the questions. “Nothing political.”

“I told her none of those.” Pepper raised an eyebrow at him. “Why?”

“Just… I know my title has been used for political purposes. Thought it would’ve come up.”

“That’s why I told her not to. You have been used for all these political purposes while you were frozen, and although some of them, like the Civil Rights Movement, was positive, they were all still done without your permission or knowledge.”

“I wouldn’t have minded being used for the Civil Rights Movement.”

Pepper smiled at him. “I know, Steve.”

“Thank you, Pepper. I’ll have these picked as soon as I can.”

“Take your time.” 

Steve read over the 50 questions to choose from, and felt overwhelmed. Some of them were fairly simple, like, _What are some of your favorite books?_ or _What was your childhood like_ ? But then, there were questions like, _How does it feel to be in a different century so suddenly?_ and _Can you describe your time in the war?_ He groaned and walked into the common room, where Bruce and Tony were engaged in a scientific discussion.

“Bruce, I’m telling you, if we can make chroma keying somehow possible for the suit, I could be invisible.”

“Tony, that is used for behind the scenes camera work. How would it work in a practical, real-world setting?”

“Plus, let’s be honest, Tony wouldn’t want to be invisible either. Hate for us to get all the credit for being Avengers, right?” Steve lightly teased. Tony smirked at him.

“Capsicle is right. I’ll have to shelve that idea for a later time.”

For some reason, that sentence made Steve remember something. “Why aren’t there more flying cars?”

Tony’s eyebrows rose slowly. “What?”

“Flying cars. Your dad- he said he was going to make flying cars.”

“Oh.”

“‘Oh’?”

“Yeah, we don’t have flying cars. Dear old Dad didn’t do that.”

“Oh.” Steve tried to keep the disappointment out of his voice. He shouldered through the hurt of thinking about Sam, and looked at Tony. “You’ve done interviews, right?”

“Yes. But Pepper would never want me coaching you on them.”

“Oh, that’s not it. It’s… how do I choose these questions?”

“Pick the-”

“Ones I’m most comfortable with, I got it. I mean… how do you not get overwhelmed? I have 50 questions to choose from.”

“Just, pardon my language, since we have senior citizens in the room, fuck off all the questions and talk about something else. Baseball, apple pie, all that stuff.”

“Dr. Banner, do you have any advice?”

“I’m not really one for interviews, Captain.”

“I mean, these questions. _You are an American hero. However, you are on a team that doesn’t have heroes, instead having monsters, aliens, and arrogant man-children. What is it like to lead such a team?_ What kind of question is that?”

“I know. Calling Thor an arrogant manchild and you an alien seems a bit much. I mean, you defy medical science, but-”

“I think Steve’s the hero in this scenario,” Bruce replied, drily.

“Really? I thought I was the hero, you were posing that question to me, right Capsicle?” 

Steve sat on the ottoman. “How do you not take anything seriously?”

“It’s not the Great Depression anymore. We can relax a bit more.”

Steve sighed.

“Captain, don’t stress out too much. The best thing to do is relax.”

“Bruce is right, Capsicle. Pepper won’t let anything bad happen either. Until the interview, focus on other things.”

“I think you two are right. Thank you.” Steve went back up to his room, and took out his small notebook. He had been using it as a way to record essential pop culture and historical events. As he had already learned about the Korean War and the Civil Rights Movement, he was learning about second-wave feminism and the Vietnam War. Tony and Bruce were going to have him watch Star Wars with them later that evening. According to Tony, it “defined a generation, and if you haven’t seen it Cap, how could you possibly pass for a 27 year old man?” 

Pepper had gotten him a copy of Betty Friedan’s _The Feminine Mystique_. It was amazing that a book could spark a movement as big as feminism, and Steve was astounded with how many women were unsatisfied with being a housewife/mother, and yet their voices were not heard until Friedan’s book. He had finished the book in one day (which Tony had teased) but it was impossible to put down. He then read the works of women who were not primarily part of second-wave feminism, like Angela Davis writing on the experiences of black women. Steve enjoyed learning about feminism. These women reminded him of his mom, who although was not like the majority of suburban mothers fighting for feminism in the 1970s, was a strong woman that Steve had always looked up to.

The Vietnam War was a different task, though. He was horrified by the treatment of Vietnam vets by civilians and the government alike. War is an ugly business, and the graphics and details from the Vietnam War seemed more gruesome than most, but spitting on vets and ignoring raising rates of homelessness was horrible. Although the motives behind the Vietnam War seemed to be questionable at best, the soldiers who fought weren’t behind it. It was also the last time the US had used the draft. The draft, which had called away Sam all those years ago.

The historical lessons he was learning to catch up had been a little heavy to do all at once, so he was easing off of history with some pop culture. He was currently learning popular slang phrases from over the decades.

“‘Can you dig it?’ Hmm, that seems fashionable to use. Maybe a bit flashy or much. Seems like something Tony would say.”

“Captain Rogers,” JARVIS interrupted. “Miss Romanov would like to see you.”

“Oh. You can send her up. Thank you, JARVIS.”

“No problem, Captain.”

A few seconds later, there was a knock on the door.

“If that’s you, Natasha, you can come in.”

“And if it’s not Natasha?”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Then I have my shield to knock down the fiend that stands outside of my door and falsely claims to be Natasha Romanov.”

The door opened, and Natasha walked in, something close to a smile on her face. “Hello Rogers. Heard you were skulking up here.”

“‘Skulking?’ I don’t skulk.”

“Whatever you would like to call it.”

“Learning, Miss Romanov. I call it learning.”

“So, aren’t you supposed to be trying to integrate yourself into this century?”

“Yes.”

“So by doing that, instead of actually going out and seeing what this century has to offer, you are here on your StarkTablet, for the last hour and 15 minutes?”

“Hour and 15 minutes?”

“That’s how long Stark and Banner you said you’ve been up here.”

“Stark is known to exaggerate. And Banner… Banner might go along with Stark because he might’ve not been paying attention.”

“Hmm. I doubt that.”

“JARVIS will know. JARVIS, have I been up here for an hour and 15 minutes?”

“No, Captain Rogers.”

Steve smirked at Natasha.

“You have been up here for an hour and 36 minutes. Sir and Dr. Banner were off by-”

“21 minutes, I can do math, JARVIS. Thank you.”

“No problem, Captain Rogers.”

Natasha smirked at him. He sighed.

“Maybe I have been here a while, but I need to learn things, Natasha.”

“Learn by doing. Fury sent me down here to help you out. We heard wind that you were being ‘anti-social’ and ‘difficult.’”

“From who? I was joking with Pepper and Tony a few days ago. Did they tell you how I was joking a few days ago? Plus, I had a conversation with Stark and Dr. Banner.”

“Congratulations, you are connecting with people who are at least, or most likely more, damaged as you.”

“Pepper’s not.”

Natasha sighed, and sat on a nearby chair. “You need to be able to connect with people outside of this superhero gig. You probably aren’t going to be hanging out with superheroes out and about your daily life. Stark has a company, as does Pepper, Banner is probably going to be returning to helping out third world countries, Thor is on Asgard, and Clint and I have SHIELD. You need other people.”

“Well, I must inform you Miss Romanov, that I have made a non-superhero friend in this century.” He held up his phone contacts. “A young woman named Mandy to be precise.”

Natasha’s eyebrows raised slowly, and she scooted her chair closer. “Really Rogers? That’s fantastic. Is she cute?”

“I-I don’t know.”

“Haven’t seen her?”

“No, I have, I just didn’t notice. She’s… from New York. And I met her during the cleanup.”

“That’s sweet. So, when are you going to call her?”

“I don’t know-”

“Let me do it.” She reached for the phone, but Steve put it out of her reach.

“Why are you here? It’s not to steal my phone, I hope.”

Natasha stood up. “Let’s go, Rogers. I’m taking you for a drive.”

“Where?”

“Let’s go Rogers. We’ll have fun. I’ll be waiting for you outside, in the black Corvette.” She left. Steve sighed, and put on his shoes.

“JARVIS, what ts the weather like outside?”

“Seasonable, Captain Rogers. Sunny, at a comfortable 77 degrees.”

“Thank you.” He grabbed a folded piece of paper and left, and went out to Natasha’s Corvette. She gave him a small smile when he got in the car. He could tell it was a guarded smile, not whatever her normal, carefree smile is. That was probably regarded for few people.

“You’re staring at my lips, Rogers.” She drove away. Steve scoffed, and rolled his eyes.

“Where are you taking me?”

“A little tour of New York. It’s changed since the ‘40s.”

“Really?”

“I know it’s hard to believe.”

“Miss Romanov-”  
“Either Natasha or Romanov, Rogers, you’re flattering me too much.”

“Well _Romanov_ , I’m sure you have better things to do, like missions-”

“This is my mission. Are we in agreement?”

“Yep.” 

“Good. Where would you like to go?”

Steve looked outside the window. He had never been to Manhattan before he went in the ice. Sam was from Harlem before he moved to Brooklyn, so Manhattan was his home borough.

“Harlem. I want to go to Harlem.”

Natasha raised an eyebrow at him. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. I want to go to Harlem.”

Sam had always wanted to take Steve to Harlem, but they never were able to go. Steve’s illness and Sam’s busy schedule made it difficult and the Depression put a strain on their expenses. Plus, Sam was always so reluctant to go back, since he lost both his parents there. He still remembered the wistful, nostalgic, yet pained way Sam would speak about Harlem.

~~~

_“Because of the Renaissance, people were coming together, trying to make a collective black culture, so to speak.”_

_“Did you ever do anything?”_

_Sam laughed. “I was a child during the height of the Harlem Renaissance. It did give us a way to move past my father’s death, though. But, by the time I was near 10, my mom had me reading Langston Hughes and Claude McKay.”_

_“What did he write?”_

_“_ Home to Harlem _. I liked it. I don’t think Mama ever understood I liked science fiction books most, though. There’s this library in Harlem I used to go to, Countee Cullen. The books in the colored section weren’t much nor were they ever in good condition, but I used to read the books there. Like_ Home to Harlem. _But also_ 20,000 Miles Under the Sea, The Time Machine, Gulliver’s Travels _. I just would spend time in the library reading. Until my mom got hit with polio, had to start working, y’know?”_

_“I understand. I wish I could help out my mom. What else about Harlem?”_

_“Wish I could take you there Steve. I would fall asleep, listening to jazz coming from the Cotton Club.”_

_“You’ll take me one day. This Depression can’t go on forever, right?”_

_Sam nodded his head and smiled at Steve._

~~~

“Snap out of it, Rogers, we’re here.”

Steve looked out the window. There were apartments lining the streets, most of them brown. Sam’s apartment had been on West 143rd Street. They were on West 140th. Steve got out of the car, and looked around.

“Rogers!”  
Steve ignored Natasha, and walked around, looking for West 143rd Street. 516 West 143rd Street, to be exact. Sam said they moved there when he was four, so that his dad was closer to his work. And, while they were roommates before the war, Sam had drawn Steve a picture of the apartment. Even though Sam wasn’t happy with his final product, Steve had kept the picture. As he was looking for the apartment, he heard footsteps running towards him.

“Rogers!”

He turned to Natasha. “Romanov.”

“If you’re looking for something, you may not find it. Gentrification and renovations may have destroyed whatever it is you’re looking for-”

“Here it is.” He stopped in front of the apartment, and took out the picture. He unfolded it, and looked up. He smiled at the picture. Sam had drawn it well, Steve didn’t know why Sam was so dissatisfied with it. It looked exactly like the apartments in front of him, except the actual thing had color, of course.

“It hasn’t changed,” he whispered. Natasha looked at him.

“I thought you were from Brooklyn?”

“I am. Let’s go there next.”

Natasha stared at him for a few seconds before going back to the car. Steve looked at the apartment one last time before following her.

Although Brooklyn had undergone gentrification, just like Harlem and most likely the rest of New York, his apartments hadn’t been changed or renovated.

“It’s a Registered Historical Building? Really?”

“Yeah. This was the home of Captain America, so of course they’d want to preserve it.”

“This is ridiculous.”

“Yeah. They were about to tear it down a few years ago, but there was a petition to keep it up. No one lives there, though.”

“Hm. It seems so much smaller. The last time I was here, I was a lot smaller myself.”

“The times, they are a-changin.”

Steve raised an eyebrow at her. She shrugged her shoulders.

“Bob Dylan reference. Anywhere else you’d like to go?”

“One more stop for now.”

“Tell me where.”

~~~

Woodlawn Cemetery was in the Bronx on Webster Ave. it had a very peaceful feel to it. Leaves covered the path that Steve walked on. Natasha was back at the car, leaving Steve alone to his thoughts. It was a well-kept cemetery, one of the largest in New York City. During a phone conversation with Peggy, she mentioned that both he and Sam had two graves. They each had one in Arlington, at the national cemetery, that was for ceremonial purposes. Their “real” graves (since neither had a body in it anyway) were both in New York. Steve, with his family in Brooklyn, and Sam here, in Woodlawn. His parents had been relocated as well. Steve appreciated the effort from Peggy to make sure that their wishes had been met. Sam was located near the back. His grave was in the middle of his parents’ graves.

_Darlene Wilson; Beloved Wife and Mother, Friend to All; April 11th, 1892- November 20th, 1932._

_Paul Wilson; Beloved Father, Husband, and Minister; September 22nd, 1890- March 13th, 1923._

_Samuel Wilson; Howling Commando, War Hero, Best Friend; December 14th, 1917- February 5th, 1945._

“I hope you’re in peace, Sam. I’ll come visit, although I’m sure you would want me to focus more on the present than the past.” Steve sniffled and quickly wiped his tears. “I love you Sam. I always will. Just wish I had been on your left when you needed me the most. Rest in peace.”

Steve walked away, back to Natasha, who was texting someone, he assumed Clint. She looked up when he approached, and put away her friend. “Ready?”

He nodded his head. “Had enough for one day.”

~~~

 _1 week later…_  

Steve was out of his element. This wasn’t a situation he was familiar with. He was the “Man with a Plan,” and yet nothing for how to deal with this.

“And we’re thinking about this blush. It will go well with your skin-”

“Isn’t that makeup? Don’t women wear makeup?”

“In daily life, sure, they usually use it. When on camera, though, everyone needs makeup. Gotta be able to stand out on screen. Even super-soldiers.” The woman proceeded to put blush on him. He tried not to squirm too much, but it was hard with the damn brush tickling his nose so much.

“So, Captain Rogers, when the _camera_ \- that’s the large object that will film you-”

“I know what a camera is.” He sputtered as the woman brushed over his open mouth. Another person walked up to him.

“Did you bring your watch? The one with Agent Carter’s picture? Ms. Everheart was quite adamant on you bringing it.”

“What? Yes, yes, I have.” He turned to the makeup artist. “Stop, I’m sure that’s enough blush.”

The makeup artist smiled at him, and put the blush away. “Sorry about that, Captain Rogers.”

Pepper walked up to him. “Hi Steve. Are you ready? Do you remember the questions?”

“I’m not even sure I remember my middle name.”

“It’s Grant. You’ve woken up from being in ice for about 70 years, you’re a World War 2 vet, and you’re part of a group known as the Avengers.”

Steve glared at Pepper. She smiled at him.

“It was a joke. I thought you’d appreciate it.”

“How can you joke at a time like this? It’s like I’m a starlet or something. This seems like a bit- no, no, no.”

The makeup artist was coming at him with lipstick. Pepper covered her mouth to prevent herself from laughing.

“I’m sorry Captain Rogers, but you do need a little bit of lipstick.”

“No.”

“Steve, it’ll make your lips pop.” Pepper looked at the makeup artist. “Just a little bit for him.”

He closed his eyes as she dabbed his lips.

“There, that didn’t hurt, did it?”

“Are we done with makeup?”

The artist chuckled. “Yes. You took it like a champ.”

“Please, he was like a kid about to receive a shot.”

“Shots can hurt,” Steve pouted, trying not to mess with his makeup. Pepper smiled at him.

“Are you ready? Do you feel confident?”

“No to both. I’m not used to interviews.”

“Did the preps help?”

The week leading up to the interview, Pepper, Tony, and Bruce, with some help from Natasha and Clint helped him get ready for the interview. Only Pepper was really helpful.

“If I need to learn how to evade questions, sure, it was very helpful. AF, as the kids might say-”

“Oh God, please don’t say that during the interview.”

“But for being open and approachable? No, that prep was the worst.”

“Well, just remember my advice. Besides, you know the questions, she won’t spring any surprises. I’m confident in you, Steve. Tony and I are going to be behind stage if you need us.”

“Okay. Thanks Pepper.”

“Captain Rogers needs to be out in 5.”

“Thanks Barry.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means 5 minutes, Steve. You are Steve Rogers and you can do this interview.”

Steve nodded his head and relaxed his face. “I am Steve Rogers and I can do this interview.”

“Good. I’ll see you later, Steve, good luck.”

Steve looked in the mirror. “I can do this all day.”

He was still nervous, though. And although he had planned on outing himself, he wasn’t so sure anymore. He tried all week to out himself to Pepper, Tony, and Bruce, people who he considered blossoming friends. Definitely the closest thing he had to friends in this century, barring Peggy. And when he asked his Pride question, Pepper and Tony didn’t seem to have a problem. If he couldn’t out himself to friends, how could he say it to the nation? To other nations. He would have to find the courage to do it some other time.

“Captain Rogers, Ms. Everheart is ready.”

He took a deep breath, and walked out onto the set. It was almost like a living room, and in the middle were two chairs. Ms. Everheart was sitting one and smiled at him when he walked on the set. She stood up to shake his hand.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Captain Rogers. I’m honored that you chose me for this. It’s an honor I will not take lightly.

“Thank you, Ms. Everheart.” He sat down. The cameraman counted down, and at one, Ms. Everheart straightened up and smiled at the camera.

“Hello, I am Christine Everheart with WHiH News. With me is World War 2 veteran and American hero, Steve Rogers, also known as Captain America.” She turned to him. “Nice to have you here, Captain.”

“Nice to be here.”

“Let’s get started. How has it been, adjusting to the 21st century so far?”

“I have gotten that question so many times. It’s been… a challenge. Too often I find myself thinking back to the past and to the people I’ve lost over the years. I’ve been working through my grief, and I feel a lot better than I did a month ago.”

“That’s nice to hear. So, as I’m sure you know, you are an inspiration to so many people. Who served as your source of inspiration growing up?”

“Well… my father was a soldier in World War 1, so learning about him led to me wanting to serve my country-”

“What happened to your father?”

“He died. The mustard gas, he was killed by it. My main sources of inspiration are my mother and my best friend. My mom died when I was 18, but up until then, I saw the sacrifices she made for me so that I would grow up right. She also taught me how to accept other people, no matter their differences, so I thank her for the character I have today. And my best friend, Sergeant Sam Wilson, as you may know, he was always there when I needed him.” Steve paused for a bit, making sure not to let his emotions overwhelm him. “He was an amazing best friend and taught me about the importance of loyalty.”

Christine nodded her head. “I see. Speaking of Sergeant Wilson, what did you think about the attempts to erase his heroics, as well as the heroics from other minorities in the Howling Commandos?”

“I personally found them to be disgusting and lacking honor. Sergeant Wilson and Privates Jones and Morita were personally chosen by me to be a part of the Howling Commandos. No one has any right to take that honor away from them. They were POWs and they accepted to be a part of my group to take down HYDRA. All of the Howling Commandos were heroes-”

“Added with the fact that these three had to face racism as well as the war.”

“Exactly. They were all heroes and I won’t have anyone say different. I’m glad Agent Carter, Howard Stark, and Colonel Phillips did not allow for anyone to diminish their accomplishments.”

“Strong words from Captain America. My next question is, what was it like, growing up in the 40s?”

“It was… different, obviously. I was very sick as a child, and many doctors didn’t think I was going to survive past age 11. Then it was 15. Then it was 18, and the doctors stopped making predictions on my life.” Steve’s mouth twisted in a smile. “I met Sam when I was 15. I was trying to protect a… a woman who was being harassed by some guys, and I was getting beat pretty badly, when Sam came around, and despite the danger around a black kid fighting back against white kids, he fought them off. For a complete stranger, and we were friends since. The Great Depression, it left so many destitute. Sam and I had to get a place together, because there was no way we could each get our own place. It was hard for Sam to find work, since white workers were always preferred over him. He had to pick up odd jobs around the city and I tried to get work when I could, it was hard with how sick I was.”

“And now you’re here. What are some changes that you’ve appreciated?”

“So many. Desegregation of public places. I wasn’t always able to go with Sam wherever I wanted, and now people can go where’d they like despite race. Higher gender equality. I have no doubt that Peggy Carter had an important role in that. Vaccinations are amazing. I wish I had that, it would’ve been better than getting the cold every winter. And of course all the information that we have at the tip of our fingertips.”

“Things that we may not always realize are important all the time. So, you led the Howling Commandos in World War 2. Now you’re leading a new team, the Avengers, who have recently saved New York from aliens. This team has spies, a monster, an alien, and a… controversial hero. How is different from the Commandos?”

“Well, first I object to the terms used to describe my new teammates. They’re all heroes in my book, and it’s not appropriate to use such disparaging terms to describe them. So, if you could…” Steve looked at her expectantly. Christine looked confused for a second, but her face quickly lapsed into embarrassment.

“Sorry about the… rudeness, Captain. I didn’t mean to offend.”

“Apology accepted. And… as a comparison to the Commandos, yes, they’re different, but that’s not bad. The Commandos were soldiers, while the Avengers are… people with extraordinary powers. I could never pick one team, but they both have their strengths and weaknesses, and I’m lucky to have been able to work with both.”

“What are some drawbacks to this century?”

“The obvious answer is that I’m not with my friends and people who I loved, but I do get a chance to make more friends and build more connections while keeping my loved ones in my memories.”

“You have an optimistic worldview.”

“I kinda have to. I was only awake for 2 weeks when I was called back to fight. It would’ve been easy to say I’ve done enough, I gave up my life essentially for this world, and I’m ready for a break. I know it would’ve been easy, because it crossed my mind. I gave up my life in the 40s for the Tesseract, and the first thing I have to do in this century is retrieve it. The thought crossed my mind briefly, before I knew the only thing I could do was to fight. I have to be optimistic, though, or the job will feel like a drag, rather than my chance to give back to a world that has given me plenty of chances.”

“And that’s why you’re Captain America.”

Steve chuckled. “I’m not sure about that, but thank you.”

“So, one more question, Captain, kinda a hot button topic…”

Even though he couldn’t see her, he could feel Pepper fuming off-stage behind him.

“But I’m sure you’ve heard about the fight to legalize gay marriage-”

Steve could feel his brain going haywire. This was the _last_ question in the world he’d want to deal with.

“And what do you, a man from the 40s, a face of traditionalism, have to say about that?”

Steve blinked a few times, not sure how to respond. He moved his mouth a few times, but no words came out. Finally, he cleared his throat and said, “I don’t feel quite comfortable…” 

“With what? The question or the idea of homosexuals fighting to be able to marry the person they love?”

 _Oh boy,_ his brain unhelpfully supplied to him. “With… with…”

“Peggy Carter has said that she supports same-sex relationships and marriage. How would she feel to know a former close friend and lover of hers has such a bigoted mindset…”

When, in the future, people would watch this interview and ask Steve what was going through his mind at this point in the interview, he would tell them the truth. Nothing. Nothing, except righteous anger compounded with more righteous anger and a desire to set this woman and anyone who thought he was bigoted or supported bigoted views straight (and then he would laugh at his pun).

“Excuse me, Ms. Everheart, but I do not appreciate being attacked and maligned.”

“I’m sure many people don’t appreciate Captain America holding bigoted views-”

“I don’t. I am not against same-sex marriage-”

“But you’re not for it either. Were you even aware that there was a fight-”

“Yes, it’s hard to miss-”

“And? How do you feel about it? How do you really want the Supreme Court to rule?”

“I want the to legalize gay marriage. You wanna know why? Because I’d like to get married in this country no matter where, no problem.”

Everything went silent, you could hear a pin drop. You could probably hear a feather drop. Christine looked surprised, in the least. Steve was surprised by his own courage to say that, but he knew he couldn’t stop there.

“I am a gay man. I’ve head to hide it for so long, but I don’t want to. I am proud of all the LGBT community and their allies for fighting for the right for something as important as marriage.” Christine still didn’t respond, so he thought to add a phrase he had recently learned. “If you can dig it.”

That seemed to snap Christine out of her reverie. “Wh- what about Peggy Carter?”

“Peggy and I were just friends. Nothing romantic sprang out of it, I didn’t feel that way about her.”

“Was there anyone?”

Steve was about to say Sam, but was glad that his brain stopped that one from coming out of his mouth. As much as he would love to say he and Sam were together, Sam wasn’t there to do so. Steve couldn’t out him without his permission. He wouldn’t let Sam be used for an agenda (no matter if he’d support the agenda), and he definitely wouldn’t let people insinuate the only way he became a Commando was by being with Steve.

“Yes, but that’s not important. I am gay, Ms. Everheart, so yes, I support gay marriage. Was that our last question?”

She nodded her head. “Thank you for joining me.”

“Thank you for having me.”

“Cut!”

“What the hell!”

He heard Pepper’s angry voice, and saw her storming over there. Every scenario ran through his head, but he knew one thing: Pepper was mad at him. She had to be, he was gay, and he just said that out loud, and now Pepper would have to deal with everything, she must hate him now-

“I told you no surprise questions like that!” She stormed past him and over to Christine. “That question wasn’t even on that first list of yours. How could you ask it?”

“People want to know.”

“And now you made Captain Rogers out himself!”

“I did not-”

“Oh, so calling a gay person homophobic wouldn’t make them feel pressure to out themselves? Especially when they’re such a public figure? Now you’re just deluding yourself, Ms. Everheart.”

“I was not aware that he was gay. Were you?”

Pepper sighed. “No. And I’m upset that Captain Rogers had to out himself in public like that because he was being attacked by a jealous witch! Come on, Steve.”

Steve followed Pepper backstage and she pulled out her phone.

“Are you backstage, Happy? Perfect, we’ll be out in a second.” She smiled at him. “Let’s go.”

“Wait. You’re not… you don’t… hate me?”

Pepper gave him a sympathetic look. “Oh no, Steve, of course not. In fact, I’m proud of you. And I know your teammates will be, too. And whatever happens, happens, we’ll deal with the fallout, but tonight, rest. I know that was difficult and it was incredibly brave of you to come out. That bravery, that’s what makes you Steve Rogers.”

She smiled at him again, and led him to the limo where Happy was waiting.

“Nice interview there, Captain.”

“Oh. Thanks, Mr. Hogan.”

“Yeah. That look on Everheart’s face when you tell her you’re gay… priceless.”

Happy drove off. Steve sat back, not in the mood for a polite conversation with Pepper. He thought about his actions tonight. There would be consequences. People who politicize it, people who would reject him as Captain America. Despite everything though, the fact that he was still a public figure, that people would be upset, the circumstances of his outing, he was still proud of himself. No matter what happened, he would be proud of himself for getting through his fears. And Pepper was right. Now was the time to rest.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The journalism tactics used in this chapter, I actually learned in journalism class, so that was cool to use. With the exception of the last part of the interview, Christine actually uses good interview tactics. Letting the person answer the questions, asking clarifying questions, all good tactics. Gotcha questions are not, though. Also, the specific places I used are actual places in New York, so there was more research in this chapter than most.


	3. How the Other Side Lives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Who are you?”  
> “The Asset. Codename: Winter Soldier.”  
> “Good. What is the last thing you remember, Soldier?”  
> “2009. Odessa. Faust, nuclear scientist. Mission successful.”  
> “Good. Do you know what year it is?”  
> The Asset shook his head.  
> “2012. How is your arm?”  
> “Functional.”

The Soldier’s eyes slowly opened. He could still feel the chill from the cryochamber, all the way down to his bones. He saw an older blonde man staring down at him. It wasn’t either of his previous handlers, Zola or Karpov. 

“Do you recognize me, Soldier?”

The voice triggered recognition. It was Pierce, an American, his newest handler. “Yes sir.”

“Who are you?”

“The Winter Soldier, sir.”

“Do you know what year it is?”

He shook his head. 

“2012. And we have a need for your services. Rumlow, Rollins, prep him for maintenance.”

“Yes sir.”

Pierce looked back down at him. “This is Brock Rumlow. You will be listening to his orders for most of your mission. Do you understand?”

He nodded his head. Pierce whispered something to Rumlow, who nodded his head in response. He left, leaving the Soldier with his two new handlers. Rumlow walked over to him.

“You’re the Winter Soldier? Never seen you awake before. How is your arm?”

The Soldier looked over at his left arm. He remembered on his last mission, his arm had been damaged. He slowly lifted it, but the wires sparked. His handlers flinched back, but there was not much pain in his arm. The Soldier is a weapon. His arm had been in worse conditions, more painful ones. This was nothing. But, it was not in optimal condition.

“Requires maintenance, sir.”

“What is the last thing you remember?”

“2009. Odessa. Faust, nuclear scientist. Mission successful.”

“Anything else?”

A woman with familiar red hair was there, he shot her too. She didn’t die, but she was hurt by more than the bullet. He didn’t know why. Even though the Soldier knew he should mention it, he shook his head. “No, sir.” He didn’t know why he was keeping it to himself. Weapons weren’t supposed to have secrets. His handler seemed satisfied with the answer. 

“Okay, put him in the lab, Rollins. The technicians will know what to do.”

“Got it, Rumlow.”

~~~

The lab technician, female, Caucasian, no older than 40, was mindlessly talking to him as she fixed up his arm. He really wished she would shut up, but he would never voice anything of the sort.

“... so I wanted to try to make you an arm out something else. I don’t know what, but something more durable. Of course, though, my idea was ignored. You really seem to damage this arm a lot, don’t you, Soldier?”

The Soldier didn’t answer, he knew it wasn’t necessary. The question was… rhetorical. He didn’t know he knew such a term, but he did. The woman was still talking and he sat like stone, making sure not to let his face betray the thoughts racing through his mind.

“... Things have changed since 2009 can you believe it? We’re out of the recession. Of course there will be more things to worry about other than a recession in the future, but for now, we’re out. Still fighting in the Middle East. Not sure about the details, just a technician. Does this hurt?”

It was discomforting, so The Asset shook his head.

“Hmm. I think it’s fascinating that they connected this to your spine. I wonder if it makes you more obedient. Or if it heightens your tolerance to pain? Let’s just test out this theory.”

She began to poke and prod his arm. He hated it, made him angry. Weapons weren’t supposed to be angry, and yet here he was, mad at the woman. The pokes didn’t cause him any pain, he really did have a higher pain tolerance. There was slowly more discomfort as she messed with his arm. When she started messing with the “nerves” in that arm, that’s when the pain came. He was able to keep a straight face through most of it, until she took a blowtorch to one of the nerves. It was fire, shooting down his spine. It was familiar. He remembered snow, falling all around him… and a speeding train. Someone yelling after him, he didn’t know who. He had a headache having these… visions? Memories? He wasn’t sure.

Despite all the pain that it caused, he used the metal arm to grab the woman’s neck. 

“Where am I? Who am I? What’s going on?”

He heard the sound of guns cocking, and out of his peripheral could see the guns pointed at him.

“Soldier, let go of her.”

He didn’t, but he also didn’t put any pressure on her windpipe either.

“Soldier!” It was his new handler, Rumlow. “Let go of her. You want to be punished?”

Vague memories of hands touching him, going up and down his body came to mind. He let go of the woman’s neck, and sat back down in his seat. The woman rolled her chair away from him, gasping for air. Rumlow rolled his eyes. 

“What the hell did you do, Gunner? Why was he choking you?”

“I-I don’t know.” Her face was still red and she coughing for air. Pierce walked in, and seemed nonplussed by the guns pointed at the Asset.

“What is going on in here?”   
“The Soldier attacked Gunner. We don’t know why.”

Pierce looked at the technician. “Well?”

“I-I think he’s remembering. He didn’t seem to understand what was going on. His brain is having to deal with these new memories popping up.”

“And what exactly triggered these repressed memories?”

“I- I don’t know.”

“Okay, then answer this: did you do something to trigger these repressed memories?”

She didn’t answer, but the Asset could see that her answer was yes. He had no doubt that his handler,  _ no, Pierce, _ would see it to. Pierce sighed, and removed something from his pocket.

“You might’ve just set us back with him.” He fired twice, and she slumped over. The Asset didn’t flinch. He didn’t like her much, anyway. Pierce looked at him, and the guns were still pointed at him.

“How are you, Asset?”

“Confused. Why am I here?”

“What do you remember?”

The Asset frowned in thought. “Train… snow… falling into the snow. I fell into the snow.” Pierce had tensed while he was talking. He looked up at them, still confused. “Did you guys save me?”

Pierce visibly relaxed. The Asset made a note of it. “Yes. We saved you. And we need you to do something for us.”

“What?”   
Pierce turned to some of the guards. “Prep him for wipe.”

It was a familiar feeling. His arms were clamped down, and he was given a rubber gag to bite down on. The halo came down, just like routine, and then the shocks came.

~~~

“Who are you?”

“The Asset. Codename: Winter Soldier.”

“Good. What is the last thing you remember, Soldier?”

“2009. Odessa. Faust, nuclear scientist. Mission successful.”

“Good. Do you know what year it is?”

The Asset shook his head.

“2012. How is your arm?”

“Functional.”

“Good. Do you know who I am?”

The Soldier nodded his head. The American voice was distinctly different from Zola’s Swiss and Karpov’s Russian accents. “Alexander Pierce of HYDRA.”

“Good job my pet. We ran into some calibration issues, but you should be fine now. Are you functioning well?”

“Yes sir.”

“Good. We have a mission for you, and you’ll be working with Agents Rumlow and Rollins.” Pierce gestured to two men in the back of the room. The Soldier nodded his head. “Before we send you out, we need you to train. Take him down to the shooting range. Let’s see if his aim is still the same.”

~~~

His aim was perfect. The Soldier was always perfect. Anything less was failure. He was getting ready for his mission with Rumlow and Rollins, who for some reason, rubbed him the wrong way. It was a weird sentiment, a weapon such as himself didn’t need or get to have preferences. He followed orders and killed, just like a good weapon. Being ‘rubbed the wrong way’ was a sentiment for soft-minded humans. Not highly trained assets. His mission was fairly straight-forward. Made sense since he had just woken up, but he felt as if his skills were being wasted on something a rookie could do.

***

_ “This is the UK Ambassador to Argentina, John Davies.” _

_ The Soldier was shown a picture of man, Caucasian, most likely in his late 40s, early 50s, with blonde hair and blue eyes. They reminded him of someone he wasn’t sure even existed, except the man in the photo had graying edges. _

_ “The UK and Argentina still have poor relations from the fallout of the Falklands. They are trying to have talks to improve relations…” _

_ His handler’s words faded into the background. It was more for the other agents, anyway. He was still focused on the picture. Why did this man who he had never seen remind him of another man he had never seen? The Soldier didn’t know. He shouldn’t have been thinking about this mystery man anyway. He knew better than that. _

_ “Soldier? Soldier?” _

_ He wasn’t surprised by the sting of the slap. It didn’t even hurt. It was a warning. _

_ “Sorry.” _

_ “You will be if I have to explain this to you again. You need to assassinate the UK Ambassador to Argentina on Argentinian soil. Understood?” _

_ The Soldier nodded his head. _

_ *** _

The Soldier loaded his gun, as Rumlow and Rollins discussed something with each other. They were talking loud, but the Soldier knew how to make it seem like he was not listening.

“Did you see that interview?”

Rollins nodded his head. “The one with Cap.”

“Yeah. Who would’ve thought Cap was a fag?” Rumlow laughed. The Soldier didn’t like it. It was loud and obnoxious, very grating. He shook the thought out of his head. The Soldier wasn’t allowed to feel such things.

“I know, right? Like I thought he was gonna shut down that PC shit Everheart was spouting, then he was all like, ‘I’m a gay man,’ and I’m just like what?”

“You think he’s faking it?”

Rollins thought it over a bit. “Nah. What about him? Is he a fag?” 

The Soldier stiffened. They were talking about him.

“Well, Valance says he takes it up the ass like one.”

Rollins laughed and the Soldier made sure to keep memories of such events from surfacing. If such accusations were true, he wouldn’t want to remember them.

“I also heard that he and the Black Widow knew each other, if you catch my drift.”

“Him and the Black Widow?”

“Keep it down, will ya? But yeah, according to everyone whose been here long, the two had sex crazy often.”

“Man, I’d love to fuck the Black Widow.”

_ Natalia _ , his mind supplied. The Soldier doesn’t know why it does, but accompanied with the name are emerald eyes and fiery red hair, belonging to the same woman he shot in Odessa.

“Still think the Soldier might be on the same team as Cap, if you catch my drift.”

“Don’t be stupid, Rollins. There are tapes from the Red Room of him and the Widow fucking. Once you seem ‘em, you’ll know the Soldier can’t bat for the other team.”

“Maybe.”

“Let’s go, Soldier. We need to get you in Argentina.”

He followed the two to a van, and they were driven to an airport. The two agents were speaking with each other, and even though he didn’t know why, he knew he didn’t like either of these men. They were… assholes. The Soldier refrained from smirking, even though his mask would’ve hidden it. They were assholes, and in his mind, he would refer to them as such.

There were many colloquialisms and euphemisms The Soldier hadn’t understand when the assholes had been speaking about him but one stood out to him.  _ Fucking _ . He searched his brain for what that could possibly mean. It was a verb. What were verbs he was familiar with? Killing came to mind first.  _ There are tapes from the Red Room  _ (Russia) _ of him and the Widow  _ killing. It made a little sense, but he had never heard killing referred to as that. He went through the same process with running, shooting, fighting, until… the word sex popped into his head. It was a word that he had long since forgotten. And he associated it with red hair and blonde hair. Somehow, he knew that he actually did have sex with a red-head, but he’d imagine a blonde. A blonde man from his-

The Soldier shut down those thoughts. He focused on something else. His metal arm. The plates shifted making a soft whirring sound. It was a familiar noise, a constant. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Rollins nudge Rumlow. Assholes.

“Soldier, what was your mission in November 1963?”

“My mission was United States president John Fitzgerald Kennedy, also known as Jack Kennedy or JFK on November 22nd, 1963.”

Rollins’ eyes widened, and he looked over at Rumlow, who smirked at him.

“Told you, man. HYDRA has caused some crazy shit over the years.”

“Jesus.  _ He  _ killed JFK?”

“The Asset can’t lie. Pierce made sure of that, since he apparently lied to Karpov a few times.”

The Soldier faintly remember Karpov. He was a cruel man, to put it simply. Loved it when The Soldier killed right in front of him. He had a stern face and spoke his commands in harsh Russian. Zola spoke gentler than him and he had given him the metal arm. He didn’t do as many missions under Zola as he did with Karpov and Pierce, because he was training more, becoming the perfect weapon for HYDRA. Zola had always been praising him, unlike Karpov or Pierce. The car stopped, and The Soldier saw the jet they were to be using.

“Let’s go, Asset. We go in, you kill the ambassador, we go out; it’s simple.”

The Soldier followed Rumlow and Rollins to the jet.

~~~

The mission was a success. Of course it had been, the Soldier never failed. He had scoped out the ambassador, and hit him, just as he was leaving the embassy. According to news reports, British officials were putting the blame on Argentinian nationals. Pierce smiled at him.

“Very good, Asset. HYDRA is getting ever closer to reaching its goal. I think you can go on your next mission with only one handler, do you agree, Asset?”

The Soldier didn’t think he needed any handlers, he was not a child. But, the Soldier did not get a choice, so he just nodded his head obediently.

“Good. Agent Rumlow will be accompanying you on your next mission. We have a band of traitors in Sokovia, so I need you to kill those traitors and check up on Strucker and his experiments. And you need to hurry, because the traitors have reached out to SHIELD, and now they are going to Sokovia to retrieve them. Rumlow, SHIELD is going to ask you to go Sokovia. You need to take care of this before SHIELD finds out the HYDRA still exists. Asset, we’ll get you to Sokovia our own way.”

The Soldier nodded his head, as did Agent Rumlow.

“We’ll make sure to kill those traitors. Let’s go, Asset. We need to leave soon.”

~~~

Sokovia was a poor, war-torn country. People rioted in the streets, protesting the soldiers that stormed the city. The Soldier was dressed up in poor clothes, making sure to hide his metal arm. Rumlow was meeting with the SHIELD agents, acting as if he was assisting them. The Soldier decided to go check on Strucker’s experiments first. Rumlow would let him know when the targets were in position. He walked through the streets, avoiding the gazes of citizens and soldiers alike. No one should suspect that he was in Sokovia when these men were killed. He hadn’t been given sustience in the last 39 hours, and he was hoping Strucker had some. He was able to make his way to the base, making sure not to draw any attention to himself. The guards pointed their weapons at him until they realized who he was.

“Strucker is waiting for you, Soldat.”

He nodded his head and walked in the base. There were people in cages, twitching, writhing in pain. He stared at them in open wonderment, as he could see energy radiating off of most of them.

“Soldat. Over here!”

Baron von Strucker was over by some controls monitoring energy signals in the experiments. He grinned maliciously at the experiments.

“ _ Do you see him? _ ” He bragged in Sokovian. “ _ This is the Winter Soldier. He will be your punishment for any betrayal of HYDRA. _ ” Strucker turned back to him. 

“How are you, Soldier?” He had switched back to English. The Soldier nodded his head in response. “Maintenance?”   
“Need fuel, sir.”

“Of course. List! Some paprikash for our Soldier here.”

The lab’s doctor, List, gave the Soldier chicken paprikash. He looked at the food suspiciously. He had learned the hard way to not always trust what was given to you. Strucker seemed to understand.

“It’s not poisoned, Soldat. Let me show you.” Strucker ate some of the paprikash, and nothing happened. The Soldier quickly ate the food, and felt more energized, more prepared for his mission.

“Have the traitors been taken care of?”

“No sir.”

“Why not?”

“Waiting for confirmation from Agent Rumlow. He will tell me where to go in order to carry out my mission.”

“Hmm. I hope you guys get this done quickly. They know too much. Pierce said you were also going to check on the experiment over here?”

He nodded his head.

“Here, let me show you them.”

The Soldier followed Strucker to glass cages, and he saw the people there, fidgeting, seizing almost.

“The Scepter has already killed 2. I think that we can get the perfect weapons for HYDRA, though. They don’t know that, of course, but once they get their powers, we’ll remind them who gave them their powers and who can take them away. I think this one will be the best for HYDRA.”

Strucker was fawning over a burly man, who was twitching considerably less than everyone else. The Soldier wasn’t impressed by him, though. His attention was caught by two people. They were the youngest in the group, and the Soldier could see it. The stubbornness that these two possessed. That stubbornness would outlast the man’s strength in this experiment. He knew it.

“I see you’ve spotted the twins. Wanda and Pietro Maximoff. They are our youngest charges here.”

The girl caught his eye the most. She had a pained look, but the Soldier could also make out the anger there. He had a weird, quiet respect for her using her anger to work through the experiment. Respect wasn’t a thing that he felt for people often. This girl though, this angry, hurt girl had his.

“I must leave.”

“Goodbye Soldat. And make sure to put down those traitors before they can make their way to SHIELD.”

The Soldier nodded his head and left.

~~~

He was hiding on a rooftop, gun ready. Rumlow had alerted him that he and one Clint Barton, alias Hawkeye, would be transporting the traitors from a safehouse. He was fully cloaked, and occasionally looked over his shoulder, not wanting to move too much. He made a note of his surroundings as a way to keep from being bored. There was a steeple a few buildings over, belonging to a church. He could see a market square from his vantage point and saw Sokovians chatting with each other, buying objects, and going about their business, trying not to draw the ire of the soldiers. He heard some noise coming from the back alley and looked over his shoulder. He saw Rumlow, Hawkeye, and the two traitors coming out of the safehouse. He got his gun, and pointed it at his targets. Hawkeye was in front of both targets, and although it wouldn’t be his first option, he would be prepared to shoot Hawkeye if he needed to. He was able to find a slim opening, though, to hit the leg of the taller of the two targets. His shot was perfect, and he could see the blood squirting out. He hit the femoral artery. They were nowhere near close to medical attention. He would bleed out in minutes. Hawkeye was drawing his arrow and pointing it in his direction. He hadn’t spotted him yet, or the Soldier would have an arrow in him. He quickly turned and fired into the acclaimed archer’s hand. The Soldier doesn’t know why, but he hits the palm, making sure to avoid nerves. Hawkeye is an adversary deserving to fight another day, he figures. Hawkeye’s groan of anguish rang out, and the Soldier shot the other target, right in the head. Rumlow began to shoot at him.  _ Don’t shoot Rumlow. _ He unclipped his gun, and slid over the side of the building, into an empty alley. He ran away, hoping when he got back to Pierce, he would let him do his next missions alone, without any direct supervision.

~~~

Natasha hurried to SHIELD’s med-lab. She had gotten the call while on a surveillance mission. That had been 5 hours ago. Her mission was finished, she was back stateside, but she hadn’t heard any updates on Clint’s condition. Fury met her outside of Clint’s room.

“Let me in, Fury.” She respected Fury, but she didn’t want to hear anything from him.

“Before I do that, Natasha-”   
“I need to see him now.”

“Natasha!”

She looked at him, trying to look as impassive as she could, but she knew he could see through it.

“Don’t do anything stupid, Natasha.”

Before she could ask what he meant by that, he walked away. Natasha walked in the hospital room, and saw Clint staring at his hand. He blankly looked up at her when she walked in, and gave her a lopsided smile.

“Hey Nat.”

“What the hell happened? Are your hearing aids in?”   
“Yeah, my aids are fine. Rumlow and I, we were escorting those guys in Sokovia to the jet, when one was shot in the leg. He bled out so fast, Natasha, he must’ve hit the artery-”

“He?”

“Or she or it, I suppose, I didn’t see who did it. Anyway, they must’ve hit the artery. Then, they got me in the hand. Last guy was shot in the head.”

“Did you or Rumlow find out their secret before they were killed?”

“No. Sokovia wasn’t a safe place to hold them in the first place, we wanted to get them out as quickly as possible. Guess that didn’t work.”

Natasha looked at his hand. “Your hand, is there any… nerve damage?”

“Nope. Person only hit my hand. Guess I’m pretty lucky.”

“Clint-”

“But I could use a hand-”

“Clint! Are you sure you didn’t see them?”

“Positive. Nat, don’t go looking for them.”   
“Why not?”

“Because the person is dangerous. And you can hold your own, I know, but they’re ruthless. I could tell by the shot selection. And how many they used. They were efficient.”

The doctor came in, and Natasha immediately began to grill him. “Are you sure there’s no nerve damage? How long will it take for him to recover? What kind of bullets-”

“Miss Romanoff, please. There’s no nerve damage. It was just in the center of the palm. It might take 2-3 months to recover though, but hand exercises will help. And, according to our ballistics expert, it’s no rifling and the bullets are untraceable-”

_ Soviet-made _ , her mind finished.

“Soviet-made.”

“Soviet-made?” Clint asked. “That’s… unusual?”

_ He’s back. He’s back and he shot Clint. _

“... Nat? Earth to Natasha?”

She turned to him. He gave her a concerned look.

“Everything okay?”

“Yes. No nerve damage, huh?”

“Yep. Like I said, pretty lucky.”

“Where are you planning on recuperating?”

“My apartment. Might go over to Stark’s, hang out with him, Banner, and Rogers. And hopefully you.”

Natasha heard the question in Clint’s tone. “I think I’ll be too busy.”

“You’re not going to chase after whoever it was, Nat.” 

Natasha looked away. Clint sighed.

“I can’t stop you, Nat. I know that. But if you decide to chase after this guy, be safe.”

“I will. Just focus on getting better. Tell the boys hi if you see them.”

“I’m serious, Natasha. Be safe.”

She nodded her head and left the hospital room.

~~~

HYDRA had trusted him to be by himself for 36 hours at a time. Then, he would have to check in with a base for maintenance. The Soldier was on a mission, being asked to plant a bomb in Iran, so that it would be blamed on Iraq. he was also being followed. He was in Ashgabat, Turkmenistan, and he had been followed since shortly before leaving Azerbaijan. He didn’t exactly know who it was, but they had been doing a pretty good job so far. He was impressed. He was getting some manti from a market square. He also knew that whoever was following him was in the market. He discretely looked around, seeing if he could spot whoever was following him. He ate some of the dumplings, and looked around the market for whoever was following him. He didn’t see anything out of the ordinary, but as he turned back around, he saw a flash of red hair. It was her. She was following him. He made a weird motion with mouth behind his mask, and walked out of the square anticipating for the woman to follow him. He ducked around people, weaving in between groups of people. He checked behind his shoulder, and saw a flash of red. She was following him. He went down an alley and up a fire escape. The woman didn’t go up the fire escape, instead continuing down the alley. She was a smart person and even though the Soldier wasn’t sure what fun was, he knew he was having it. He ducked into the top floor of the building. For the moment, he had lost her.

~~~

Natasha came out of the alley, and went back around to the front of the building. He was just as sharp as he had been when she had known him. She wasn’t surprised. The Red Room wanted him sharp. When she went to the front of the building, she couldn’t see him. Had he somehow managed to evade her? She was about to go in a different direction, when she saw a flash of metal in the crowd. His arm. She followed him, trying not to give herself away easily this time. She didn’t know who employed him now or what mission he was on, but she needed to take him down. She ducked between groups of people, pausing every few seconds, making sure not to give her position away. If he saw her, would he remember her? Likely not, she would’ve likely been erased from his memory. He was moving erratically. Weird, uncharacteristic movements for him, but Natasha figured he was trying to throw her off his trail. All of a sudden, he made a quick right. Natasha learned from last time, and waited five seconds before following him into the alley. She did, and saw him, stumbling around the alley. Her suspicions were raised, but she pursued him anyway. He must’ve noticed, because he began to run.

_ Definitely weird. _ She ran after him anyway, because she didn’t want to take any chances. The man was pushing people into her path, but she was too skilled to be caught off guard. Before he could run out of the alley, she grabbed him and pulled off his cloak. A scared, Turkmen man stood before her. And the metal that she had seen? Foil around the man’s arm. The man was pleading to her in Turkmen. She ignored him though, glaring at the cloak.

“Dammit.”

~~~

He had completed 4 missions while out of cryostasis. He didn’t know how long HYDRA would let him out, but he certainly didn’t want to give them any reason to put him back into cryo. The woman was still following him. He was now sure that he had known her in some form. At a time when she was younger. He had to meet HYDRA at a base in Kabul. Ever since his Iran mission, his missions had taken place in the Middle East, a very volatile area. He hadn’t seen the woman since he left had Istanbul. He made sure  to be checking over his shoulder every few minutes. He ducked into an alley, finding a way to a cargo train station. Before he walked out of the alley, he heard a soft sound behind him. He quickly turned around, was greeted with a knife slash. He ducked out of the way, and saw her. She had bright green eyes and even brighter red hair. He knew her.

“Who do you work for?”

He threw a punch that she dodged. She did a backflip, still glaring at him.

“Who do you work for?” She charged at him, and when he threw his punch, she ducked under his arm, and kicked him in the ribs. He grunted, and kicked out her leg. She threw a punch at his crotch, but he blocked it. He kicked her in the face, and immediately walked away. He didn’t get to go far before he was tackled. He punched her in the stomach. She once again slashed a knife at him, cutting his flesh arm. He groaned and grabbed her wrist. He was about to snap it, when he felt a shock. He let go of her wrist, and she hit him.

“You shot two would-be informants and a friend of mine. Who do you work for?”

_ He has flashes of a young, Russian girl who needs to learn to fight. She has immense potential, and she is flexible and agile. He teaches her everything she knows.  _ The Soldier didn’t know what to do with this information. He was not supposed to have feelings, but he felt an increased sense of anger. He kicked the woman hard in the chest, and ran to the station. He saw the cargo train he was supposed to take to Kabul. He heard another set of footsteps, and looked behind him. The woman was there, bleeding and bruised, but still determined. He glared at her, which she returned.

“You need to be brought in.”

That would be a failure for the Soldier. He pulled out a gun, and she smirked at him.

“Put that away. Fight me like you used to.”

The Soldier wavered a little bit, conflicted from wanting to shoot her and go back to HYDRA, but he also wanted to be able to fight her. He didn’t get a chance to choose, though, because she kicked the gun out of his hand. He unsheathed a knife, and slashed at the woman. She blocked his attempt, and came at him. He dodged, and kicked out her leg. He cut at her cheek, leaving a mark. He slammed her to the ground, squeezing her throat. Her face turned red, almost like her hair, and a memory stabbed at him.

~~~

_ “That’s how you die.” _

_ The teenage girl pouted at him. “What do you mean?” They were speaking in Russian. _

_ He grabbed her neck, but made sure not to squeeze. “Someone could grasp you like that, and squeeze your neck like, like…” _

_ “Toothpaste, Samuil?” _

_ “Yes, I suppose. Once someone has you like that, you will die. Do you understand?” _

_ She nodded her head, her bright green eyes wide with wonder. “Yes, Samuil.” _

~~~

He let go of her neck, like it burned him. He watched in horror, as she coughed and tried to breathe. He hurried to the train, which was almost gone. Before he jumped on, his enhanced hearing could pick up a faint, “Next time, I won’t let you get away so easily.”

He got on the train, and looked at her, as she slowly sat up. “Natalia,” he whispered.

~~~

“Soldier, report.”

Memories had been flooding since he had seen Natalia. There was a Steve that he had known. Loved too, it seemed like. And he had secretly hoped Steve had loved him too. He had memories of older people that looked like him. They must’ve been his parents or people who took care of him. He wished he knew what happened to them. 

“Soldier, report.”

The Soldier didn’t even want to be referred to as such. In his memories, Natalia had referred to him as “Samuil.” That’s what he wanted to be called. “Soldier” wasn’t a name. It was a title. He felt a slap across the face. Pierce was glaring at him.

“Soldier, report.”

“Is Samuil my name?”

Pierce looked stricken by the question, but it was quickly cleared though.  He saw the look, though. “No, don’t be silly. You’re the Soldier.”

“You’re lying.” The words came out of his mouth before he could stop himself. Pierce slapped him hard, harder than he had ever before.

“Watch your mouth, Soldier. You know what, fuck it. Wipe him, then put him on ice. And I don’t care what you do to him in between those two activities.” Pierce stalked off. 

He started to panic internally, he didn’t want to lose these memories. His arms were held down by the clamps. One of the technicians held out a rubber gag, and out of reflex, he opened his mouth. He didn’t want this, but he still remained stoic as the halo attached to his head. The electricity shocked his head, effectively frying all of the memories he had recovered.


	4. Fallout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve is dealing with the effects of coming out, and finds himself pushing away people who he cares about. Luckily for him, he receives multiple pieces of advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for posting so late. I made a lot of edits throughout this chapter and I was gone for two weeks. I am glad that I was able to post this before moving into the dorms tomorrow though! I hope to post within two weeks, but with school starting up again soon, I'm not sure. Thank you for reading, and comments and kudos are appreciated!

“Cap, you want to play poker with… what are you watching, Cap?”

Steve didn’t answer, eyes laser focused on the TV. Tony walked behind him, and saw an NBC news report.

“Captain America, also known as Steve Rogers has come out as gay. Many politicians and activists had things to say about this stunning development.”

The news report cut to a video of Texas senator, Mike McGrady. “I sincerely hope Captain Rogers rethinks this whole… gay thing. He has probably been swept up by the gay fever heavily presented by the liberal media.”

_“So you don’t think he’s gay?”_

McGrady looked at the reporter who had asked the question. “I think he’s confused. Like most gay people.”

Next, it was Rose Bening, the head of GLAAD. “Coming out is a hard process, no matter your fame or status. I wish Captain Rogers peace and strength during these times. I also wish to lend my support, and the support of the LGBT community towards him.”

Next, were well-known anti-gay activists, Hank and Olivia Willard.

“Steve Rogers has tainted a national icon. Captain America is a straight man, and I call on Captain Rogers to retract his statement. How can our kids grow up with _this_ as a national icon. It’s an affront to family and American values-”

Tony cut the TV off in the middle of Olivia’s rant. “So… those people were shitty. Except for Bening, of course.”

Steve blinked slowly and looked back at him. “Hi Stark.”

“Stark? But I felt like we were becoming so personal, what with you calling me ‘Tony’ instead.”

“You call me Cap.”

“So now you’re pouting? You’re right, I do call you Cap. Want me to call you Steve?”

Steve turned away from Tony. Tony sighed, and sat on the adjacent couch.

“Cap, don’t be down about this. You did the right thing, coming out. You’re not regretting it, are you? Or letting those homophobic bastards make you feel bad about it.”

“She was right, you know.”

“Who, Rose Bening? Yeah, she’s quite something-”

“The other woman.”

“What? Her? She’s an ignorant bigot, Steve. She’s the type-”

“Captain America isn’t a gay man.”

“Steve, _you’re_ Captain America-”

“Or a straight man. Or a white man. Or a black man. Or even a man. Captain America is supposed to represent the best we can be. That’s why I regret coming out.”

“Steve, that’s stupid. Everyone thought you were straight anyway. You were used as an agenda-”

“And I don’t want to be again. I shouldn’t have done it. Steve Rogers can be gay. But not Captain America.”

“So what? You’re gay in your personal life, but… nothing in your public life? Steve, you’re Captain America. And you’re gay. It’s not some straight guy putting on that spangly outfit and throwing that vibranium shield. It’s you. You are right, Captain America should be _everyone’s_ Captain America, no matter of race, gender, or sexual orientation. But _the_ Captain America? He’s a gay Irish-Catholic man with a thing for slang from the 70s. And the quicker you realize that, the better it will be for you.”

Steve just looked off to the side, deep in thought. Tony sighed.

“Well, Clint and Thor are here. You want to play poker with us?”

Steve honestly wanted to say no, but he also didn’t want to be alone with his thoughts. “Sure Tony.”

 ~~~

When Steve and Tony went to Clint’s room, where the poker game was being held, they saw Clint and Bruce showing Thor the movie, _The Lion King._

“That dastardly Scar reminds me of my dear brother Loki.”

“Dear? You know he took over my mind and tried to destroy New York, right?”

“He used to be good.”

“We’re here for the poker game.”

They turned towards Tony and Steve. Bruce smiled at them and adjusted his glasses.

“Hey guys. Do you have the cards?”

“Yes. Turn off that, and sit at the table.”

Steve noticed the bandage wrapped around Clint’s hand. Clint must’ve caught him staring, because he smiled sheepishly at him.

“Yeah, it hurt like a bitch. Feels fine now.”

“Hey, Captain America doesn’t approve of that kind of language,” Tony joked, causing Bruce and Clint to laugh. Thor just looked at them confused.

“He doesn’t?”

“Not according to his comics.”

“Heh. Yeah.” Steve slumped down in his seat. Bruce gave him a concerned look.

“Are you alright, Steve? If it’s about the joke-”

“It’s not.”

“So it’s about you coming out.”

“Coming out of what?”

“Oh Thor, it’s an expression used for people who announce themselves as gay or lesbian or bi or trans-”

“What are these terms?”

“Oh boy,” Tony groaned, shuffling the cards. “Trying to explain sexual orientation to a god.”

“It means who you like to… well, it means-”

“What Bruce is trying to say,” Clint snickered, “is that it means who you love. Gays and lesbians like people who are the same sex as them. Bisexuals like both sexes-”

“Oh. We don’t have terms like these on Asgard, we just… love who we love.”

“Aw, that’s sweet Thor.”

“Well, what are you, Captain?”

“Gay, Thor.”

“Congratulations.”

“Thanks Thor.”

“I need to go up to Asgard sometime.” Tony winked at Clint who laughed.

“Oh yeah, Pepper would love that.”

“Ah yes, my paramour. She would murder me for that. And, speaking of dangerous red-headed women, where is Miss Natasha Romanov?”

“On a murdering spree I would guess.”

“Murdering spree?”

“Over the guy who shot me. I don’t know, she didn’t give much info before she left. I just hope she doesn’t get hurt.”

“It’s Natasha, I wouldn’t worry about it.”

“So why are you so uneasy Cap? You’re not letting these assholes on TV get to you, right? Because you shouldn’t.”

“Barton is right, Captain. You mustn't let people prevent you from loving who you love.”

“Can we drop it, guys? Just want to play the game.”

They nodded their heads, and everyone looked at their cards.

“So tell us Barton, how did you get wounded?”

“Oh, that’s a funny story.”

Tony, Bruce, and Steve gave him a confused look. He rolled his eyes.

“Okay, so not really funny. No part of the story is funny, I just wanted to sound cool.”

“Didn’t work.”

“Shut up, Stark. So, I was sent to Sokovia with Brock Rumlow, and we were supposed to pick up these two guys who apparently had big-time information SHIELD needed. We take them to this safehouse, get them equipped, and go out into an alley. We don’t want to be in Sokovia too long, since it’s dangerous. So, we’re heading back to the jet, walking through the alley, when- BANG-” Clint slammed his hand on the table for emphasis, startling both Bruce and Tony.

“Are you serious, Legolas-”

“One of our informants is shot in the leg. Blood squirts everywhere, whoever must’ve shot him, hit in the femoral artery. So, I draw back my bow, looking for this guy, when I get shot in the right hand. Hurt like a motherfucker. Lastly, the other informant is shot dead straight through the forehead. Rumlow got me out of there-”  
“Was Rumlow injured?” Bruce asked, cleaning his glasses.

“No. Well, maybe some glass or a twisted ankle or something. But he wasn’t shot or anything.”

“What a valiant story, Barton. Sounds like a warrior’s tale.”

“Yeah, just wish I had a cooler one.”

“At least you’re okay Legolas.”

“I know, it was rather remarkable that there was no nerve damage.”

There was a part of Clint’s story that was bothering Steve.

“So wait,” Steve said, interrupting whatever Clint and Tony were discussing, “this assassin or whatever, they were skilled enough to nick a guy’s femoral artery so he bled out in minutes, shot a guy straight in the forehead, and shot you in the hand that would have been the farthest away, and yet not a single shot on Rumlow?”

Everyone gave him a look, like he had ruined the party or something like that. It was a distinct reason why Steve never went to many parties. That and, back in his time he wasn’t ever invited.

“Well Cap, here we are congratulating that Clint survived, and you go into super soldier mode-”

“Congrats on surviving Clint, but has that crossed your mind?”

Clint gave him an incredulous look. “Not particularly, Cap. I mean, I had to survive that-”

“I get that, but this guy, I mean, he’s really good, right? Why wouldn’t he be able to shoot Rumlow? Was Rumlow hidden?”

“No… he was in the same area we were in.”

“Was he firing bullets back?”

“Yes…”

“Was the assassin a bad shot?”

Clint sucked air in through his teeth, but shook his head. “Nope. Nailed all three of us with three shots.”

“And yet, not Rumlow?”

They were all looking at him like he was crazy, which Steve resented. He was _not_ being crazy, just observant. Thor cleared his throat.

“I do not think you are getting the point of Barton’s tale-”

“No, you’re not getting _my_ point. Rumlow wasn’t shot when three other people were shot. The shooter wasn’t trying to kill you, just disable you, so clearly the informants were the targets. But Rumlow ends up unscathed-”

“Not really-”

“ _Relatively_ unscathed. Do you think that’s a coincidence?”

Clint narrowed his eyes at him. “Are you saying that Rumlow and the assassins were in cahoots? Because that’s a heavy accusation to lay on someone.”

“No, I’m not saying that. I’m saying it’s weird.”

“Listen Cap, I know Rumlow has an abrasive personality, but he got me out of there when I was down for the count. If he and the assassin were working together, why would he pull me out? When he could’ve just killed me and blamed it on the assassin?”

It was a reasonable question, and Steve didn’t have an answer for him. Tony gave im a concerned look.

“I know things have been hard on you, Cap, but don’t let the criticism get to you-”

“This has nothing to do with my goddamn sexuality!” He felt like he wasn’t being listened to. “Can I bring up a concern without you rebutting with my sexuality?”

Tony looked hurt by the accusation. “Of course you can, Cap, it’s just that I understand the pressure-”

“How could you? You’re straight, you don’t have people saying that you’re not a real man.”

Tony looked caught off-guard by the accusation, and glared at Steve. Before he could respond, though, Bruce said, “Steve, calm down-”

“‘Calm down?’ Coming from you, Bruce, that’s downright laughable.”

Thor glared at him. “Captain, you wounding other people-”

“And now I’m learning emotional health from a so-called Norse god. I thought you guys just fought out your problems.”  
“Steve, we’re on your side-”

“I thought you were on Rumlow’s?”

The silence rang around the room, and Steve hated himself for alienating his friends, people who had his back. He stood up. “I’m leaving.”

There was a chorus of “No, Cap,” and “Don’t, Steve,” but Steve waved them off. 

“I’m not much fun to be around right now.” With that, he left. He felt terrible. They didn’t deserve that, no matter what he was feeling. He went up to his room, and began to draw Peggy and Sam. He finished Peggy’s eyes, a thoughtful and deep brown, and heard a knock on the door.

“Go away.”

“That’s a no.”

He immediately recognized Pepper’s disapproving tone, and went to open the door. “Hi Pepper.”

“Steve. Can I come in?”

He stepped out of her way, and went to his bed. “Hello.”

“Tony gave me his side of whatever is going on between you and the team. You want to tell me yours?”

“You don’t need to concern yourself with that, Pepper. It’s not important.”

“Steve, don’t close yourself off.”

“Pepper, I’ve been pushing people away all day. You don’t want to deal with me.”

“Steve, I was Tony Stark’s assistant and now his girlfriend. I know how to deal with people pushing me away.”

Steve ignored Pepper, choosing to continue drawing instead. She chuckled.

“Silence, now that’s not something I’m used to.”

He was laser focused on his drawing, ignoring all outside distractions. Pepper didn’t leave, though, watching him. Figuring she wasn’t leaving anytime soon, he thought it would be best to distract her with a different subject.

“Is it true that smoking is bad for you now?”

“Yep. It’s been known to cause lung cancer, ruins teeth and gums, increases risks of strokes and cardiopulmonary disease, plus can worsen asthma.”

Steve looked up at the last one. “Really? Worsen asthma?”  
Pepper nodded her head.

Steve smirked a little bit, then continued to draw. “I remember Sam trying to save up his money to buy me asthma cigarettes.”

“Really?”

He nodded his head. “Supposed to help me with my breathing. Guess it actually worsened it.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard anything so oxymoronic in my life.”  
“Deafening silence.”

Pepper chuckled. “Got me, Steve. So, are we going to talk about what’s bothering you?”

“Nothing is bothering me Pepper, except for the life of me, Peggy’s hair isn’t turning out right.”

“You’ll get it. You’re a skilled artist.”

For the fourth time, he erased the progress he made on Peggy’s hair and restarted it. For several minutes, he drew, legitimately forgetting Pepper was there until she cleared her throat.

“I guess I will leave you to it. You can always talk to me, though.”

“I know. Thanks Pepper.”

She left, and Steve finally felt that he had gotten Peggy’s hair right. He continued on Sam, finding himself particularly pleased with his smile. He was glad he had been gifted with an eidetic memory. He wouldn’t know what he would do if he couldn’t remember what either of them had looked like when the camera or the pressures of war weren’t on them.

~~~

It had been a day since his outburst at Tony, Thor, Clint, and Bruce, and he still hadn’t talked to them. He had finished his drawing of Sam and Peggy, and was bored. He looked at the TV, and despite Tony’s words, he was curious. “JARVIS, turn on the TV.”

“Captain Rogers-”

“Please, JARVIS.”

The TV turned on, and he saw CNN panelists Monique Davidson and Colin West hosting Everheart, and two other guests.

“So, first of all, thanks for coming on here, Christine, we appreciate it.”

“Oh, no problem, thank you for having me on here.”

“Alright, so, you were right there when Steve Rogers, also known as Captain America, came out as gay.”

“Yes. Probably one of the biggest moments of my journalism career.”

“Firstly, do you think he was telling the truth?”

“You know, I’ve received that question quite a few times since the interview, and I must say, I’m not sure. I don’t see the benefit of him lying, but his timing was a little suspicious. It felt like he wanted me off his back, but I suppose he could really be gay.”

“Thank you. Next question is, did Captain Rogers seem to suggest he had a significant other?”

Steve groaned. He had never had such a dissection into his personal life.

“You know… he probably does. He’s an attractive man, and he’s been out of the ice long enough. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had a secret squeeze somewhere, whether he’s straight or not-”

_“Would you like me to shut off the TV, Captain Rogers?”_

Steve clenched his jaw. “No thank you, JARVIS.”

“So, with us, we also have _Man and Woman Equals Marriage_ author, Jeff Harbinger and LGBT activist Lily Swindon. Thank you both for joining us.”

The two other guests nodded their heads to Monique and Colin. “Thanks for having us.”

Monique looked at a piece of paper before looking back up at the camera. “It has been 12 days since Captain Steve Rogers has outed himself as gay, what do you guys make of the situation? Lily, you first.”

“Well, I think it was incredibly brave of Captain Rogers to do so. It is never easy to come out, and I hope he is finding support-”

“By support, I hope you mean the Lord. Or someone who will tell Captain Rogers he is wrong.”

“I would appreciate it if you didn’t interrupt me. And no, I don’t mean that. I mean people who understand he’s going through a difficult time-”

“What about all the people he has let down-”

Christine laughed at that. “Who has he let down? I should be the only one feeling let down, because I was so shocked, I didn’t get to ask any follow-up questions.”

“He has let down the American people. We don’t need a gay man as Captain America. We need a real man.”

_“I would suggest shutting off the TV.”_

“No, JARVIS.”

“Him being gay doesn’t mean he’s not real. It means he’s gay. And that’s just it.”

“Thank you, Ms. Swindon. Mr. Harbinger, what do you have to say?”

“People look up to Captain America. And now, since… Steve Rogers has politicized himself, people won’t be able to seperate a gay man from the ideal of Captain America. So, does this mean that we see Captain America at Pride, making a fool of himself?”

“Excuse me-”

“Does this mean we see Captain America on the steps of the Supreme Court, fighting for his ‘right to marry?’”

“There is nothing wrong with either of those things.”

“But this is Captain America! He’s not some average guy who gets to be all willy-nilly and gay. He’s supposed to represent the best of everything.”

Christine snorted. “So, were you getting all this defensive for Captain America’s honor when he was being used by the Religious Right as a reason to support homophobia, racism, sexism-”

“You’re getting off topic.”

“No I’m not-”

“It’s your fault, Ms. Everheart. Your PC, leftist, gotcha journalism has defiled a national hero.”

“I would think Steve Rogers gets some of the credit for that, too.”

“And what about Peggy Carter? Howard Stark detailed a relationship between the two. Were he and Peggy Carter lying to ‘protect’ Captain Rogers? Did Captain Rogers lie to Peggy Carter?”

“I suppose it’s not for us to know.”

“If he even is gay,” Christine muttered.

_“Captain Rogers-”_

“I’m keeping it on, JARVIS.”

“So, wait,” Colin interrupted. “What is exactly your point, Mr. Harbinger?”

Mr. Harbinger straightened out his hair, and looked at the camera. “My point is, Steve Rogers has done a major disservice to this country-”

“Was that before or after he crashed a plane full of bombs into the Arctic?”

“Well since you and your kind insist this ‘homosexuality’ is something you’re born with, Ms. Swindon. He entered the Army under the false pretense that he was a straight man-”

“He also entered as a sickly man,” Monique interrupted.

“Please, Ms. Davidson, let me finish. What I’m saying is that, with the support of 6 Republican senators, 14 Republican House members and counting, plus the American Family Association, we are pushing for Steve Rogers to drop the title of ‘Captain America’ and give it to someone who fits the idea of the standard American male.”

Steve felt his stomach drop. “Turn off the TV, JARVIS.” He was barely able to get the words out, but JARVIS heard him nonetheless. Steve lay back on his bed, wondering how worse this could get. He didn’t know how long he was on his bed, all he knew was at some point, JARVIS said, _“Captain Rogers, Director Fury has requested your presence downstairs.”_

“Shit.”

When he got downstairs, he saw Fury sitting in a chair, looking as intimidating as ever. It was really a talent how he, Hill, and Natasha could look intimidating no matter what or where. “Sir?”

“Sit down, Rogers.”

He did what Fury said, albeit reluctantly. “I know what you’re going to say.”

“Didn’t realize mind reading was one of your powers.”

Steve gave him a look.

“Well don’t hold back, Captain. What was I going to say?”

“That I shouldn’t have come out, it was a stupid decision, and now I’ve put SHIELD in a risky position.”

“Well, it’s good to know my intel hasn’t failed me. I’m afraid you’re wrong. In fact, part of the reason for my visit, Captain, is to congratulate you for finding the courage to come out.”

“Really? This hasn’t derailed any of SHIELD’s plans or anything?”

“No. I am also here to tell you next time you feel like you need to shatter the internet, to let us know first.”

“I didn’t think I would be coming out. And… how do you _shatter_ the internet, exactly.”

“You’ve been the main talking point on social media sites for the past few days now. That’s what it means.”

Steve groaned. “I was not expecting this. You really don’t want me to… I don’t know, retract my statements or something?”

“If you choose to do something like that, it won’t be because I persuaded you. I trust you, Cap, and like I said, I’m congratulating you for finding that courage. One thing is clear, though, you will need to do a press conference.”

“No. That’s what got me into this mess.”

“No, an interview did. It’s much easier to control the narrative in a press conference.”

“How do you figure?”

“You get to determine who asks questions, how many questions get asked, and when you get to leave. Sounds like controlling the narrative to me.”

Steve worked his jaw. “Why would I do a press conference?”

“Some people think you’re just participating in a ‘fad.’ And of course, if Captain America has just come out, people want to know if he has a boyfriend. Or has ever had one.”

“I don’t care if people think I’m faking it.”

“Maybe not, but coming out in a calmer, less frantic way may actually help your case.”

“Maybe,” Steve conceded. “And people don’t need to know if I’m dating anyone.”

“You don’t have to. These are just reasons to have a press conference. I understand why you wouldn’t tell anyone about Wilson.”

Steve narrowed his eyes at Fury. “What did you just say?”

“Please, Rogers, I won’t tell anyone. But it’s a little obvious you carried a torch for Sergeant Wilson. And you don’t want him to get dragged into the politics of LGBT rights. I understand-”

“Do you?” Steve shot back, his tone icy.

Nick straightened up, and levelled the Captain with a stare. “When I was growing up, I heard a lot about your exploits, Captain. We were told about the heroics of Captain America and his Howling Commandos. So many times I wanted to be like you growing up, but many people were telling me that my kind wouldn’t be allowed on the Commandos. That you only allowed Jones and Wilson after the government insisted it would be a good PR move. That Morita was put on the team so that he wouldn’t betray us to the Japanese. And slowly, I started to believe them. That I wouldn’t be able to serve my country like you had. That I was doomed forever to be unappreciated and do grunt work. Until I learned, at age 19, after intensive research, that Captain America’s best friend was Sergeant Sam Wilson, a black man. That neither Wilson, Morita, or Jones were ‘diversity hires.’ And when I met Howard Stark, I had asked him why you had been used for the Civil Rights Movement, but Wilson hadn’t. You want to know what he told me?”

Steve nodded his head.

“He told me that Wilson had been dragged through the mud enough. People wanting to keep his closeness with you a secret. People saying that he was a coward, that he didn’t deserve to be a part of the Commandos-”

Steve felt a flare of anger at that, but let Nick continue.

“And Howard said he didn’t want to give those same people more reason to tarnish the memory and name of a good man. That no one would ever do that to you, but they would to him. And I’m not gonna lie, I would’ve loved to see Sam Wilson’s face growing up, showing me how to be proud and loyal and brave and black, but it’s worth it that young black kids know that now, without any government hindrance. Outing him sets back his legacy. Makes him a target again. So, yes, I understand.”

Steve didn’t have much to say that. Luckily for him, Nick still had more to say.

“I told you that for three reasons. One, to show that I do understand the importance of sheltering people who can’t defend themselves. Two, just in case you thought about naming Sam as your mystery 40s lover, a reason why you shouldn’t. And thirdly, to let you know this isn’t the end for you. Captain America can bounce back from backlash, especially superficial backlash.”

“How do you know that?”

“I know back in your day, Captain America was some guy used to boost war support and sales of war bonds, but he’s something much more now. Captain America can support the Civil Rights Movement and be a gay man, because, ultimately, what he represents is more important than who he is. These people who are upset, will be for a while, but they’ll know why you’re Captain America. Why you’re sexuality doesn’t define you. You are still a red-blooded American, and as long as you are, as long as your biggest concern is the people and their protection, you’ll be Captain America.”

Steve mulled over Fury’s words, which admittedly helped a lot. He wondered if what he had heard was truthful, but then figured at that moment, it didn’t matter. Fury stood up.

“If that’s all, Captain-”

“Actually… can I see her?”

Fury stared at him for a few seconds before nodding his head. “We’ll arrange some transportation for you.”

Steve nodded his head, and Fury headed towards the elevator. Before Fury got on, Steve said, “Thanks.”

Fury just nodded his head as the elevator doors closed.

~~~

“I told everyone. I went on TV and told everyone I was gay.”

Peggy nodded her head, but didn't say anything.

“Just blurted it out for the whole world to hear.”

Peggy’s frail hand set down on his much bigger one. “That’s good, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know. I thought it would be at the time, but now I’m not sure. So many people are disappointed with me, and… I don’t know. I mean, the looks I was getting on the way over here… I’m Captain America. People shouldn’t be staring at me, because I’m… not right-”

“Now stop right there. Where did you get this silly notion that you’re not right?”

“People are going on TV-”

“I hope you’re not listening to their claptrap. You’ve never cared before.”

“Peggy… these people are talking about wanting someone else to be Captain America. What does that mean?”

“It means they don’t know why Erskine picked you.” She said it so simply, Steve wanted to believe her. “It’s simple. They weren’t there to see that scrawny young man figure out to bring down a flag. They didn’t see that same scrawny young man jump on a grenade so that he could save the lives of his platoon. They think you were chosen at random, not appreciating what Erskine saw in you.” Peggy began to cough, and Steve got her some water and helped her return to a sitting position. “See. Still in the flower of your youth, and you’re helping out an old woman.”

“Oh come on, Pegs, I’m not in the _flower_ of my youth.” The statement made him laugh, the first he had truly done so since coming out. “I’m a very old man.”

Peggy chuckled. “Maybe.”

“Fury spoke with me.”

“Ah, Nicholas. What did he say? Do I need to knock some sense into him?”

“No, he was really supportive actually. In that stern way of his.”

“What did he say?”

“I need to do a press conference, come out in a calmer way.”

“Do you want to do that?”

“Of course I don’t. Both Pepper and Fury have suggested it, though.”

“Pepper?”

“A new friend. CEO of Stark Industries, actually.”

“Stark… Howard. Howard is dead.”

“I know, Pegs…”

She wearily looked over at him. “Steve? Is that you?”

“Yes, of course…”

“You’re alive! I’m so sorry we didn’t find you and I’m sorry we didn’t recover Sam’s body.”

“Peggy…”

The door opened, and a nurse walked in. “Ms. Carter needs to take her medicine.”

Steve looked down at Peggy, and reluctantly left, running into a woman in the hallway.

“Sorry-”

“No, I’m sorry.” She looked in the window of the door. “How is she doing?”

“Uh… not sure. Who… who are you?”

The woman smiled at him. “I’m Kate, a nurse.”

“Ah. My mom, she was a nurse.”

“Oh yeah? Then your mom has my respect. I know it’s not an easy job.”

“Yeah, you got my mom’s respect. Do you… do you know what’s wrong with her?”

Kate looked at Peggy’s door again. “She has… she has Alzheimer’s.”

Steve frowned at the term, but didn’t want to let it be known that he didn’t know what the disease was. “I think I should go.”

Kate smiled at him. “I’ll see you then.”

“Thank you.”

~~~

_Alzheimer’s disease is a progressive disorder that causes brain cells to waste away (degenerate) and die. Alzheimer’s disease is the most common cause of dementia-- a continuous decline in thinking, behavioral and social skills that disrupts a person’s ability to function independently._

That was the Mayo Clinic’s official online definition of Alzheimer’s disease. When Steve read that shortly after returning to the Tower, he felt helpless, and went to sleep that night, not sure what to think. Or at least, he tried to go to sleep. He ended up waking up several times throughout the night, and finally he visited the gym, and focused on ruining the gym bags. Peggy was becoming less and less of herself. She was already forgetful, and according to the website it would get worse. A flash of anger overcame him, and he split the 12th gym bag since he had come down here.

“Those poor gym bags never knew what hit them.”

Steve stilled, but got over it quickly. “Clint said you were on a murdering spree."

"I wouldn't call it a spree."

"Was it successful?"

"No. You want to actually fight against someone?"

Steve turned to her. "I'm not in a great mood."

"Yeah, Clint mentioned that. Wanna fight anyway?"

"Are you hurt?"

"I’m good enough. Let’s spar.”

Her tone left no room for argument. She and Steve stepped onto the mat. Steve squared his shoulders, while Natasha faced him, her expression icy. Steve charged first, throwing a punch at her. She effortlessly ducked, showing off her flexibility as she bent backwards. Steve quickly turned around, but not before Natasha stuck her foot out, aiming squarely for his chest. It hit, and although it wasn’t a particularly hard kick, it did catch him off guard, pushing him back a little. 

“You gonna tell me what’s going on with you?”

He tried to hit her again, but she was too quick, being able to dodge the punches he threw at her. She did a backflip, and when he came at her again, she was able to jump on his shoulders. 

“You don’t have to, of course. But something’s off.”

Before he could knock her off, she got up, and hit him several times in the chest. After 3 or 4 hits, Steve caught her arm and wrenched it behind her back. Natasha sucked in some air, and Steve slackened his grip.

“Natasha?”

She hesitated, but stuck out her leg, striking Steve’s. He completely let go, and Natasha came with another kick, accompanied with a flip. She came at him this time, but Steve was able to stop her this time. He kicked her leg out, and slammed her to the mat. His knee was secure on her chest, but she smirked up at him.

“Gonna tell me what’s up?”

“No.” He got off her, and started to walk off the mat, but was kicked in the back. He turned to Natasha, who was back on her feet.

“We’re not done yet.”

“You lost, Natasha.”

“It would do you some good to learn some more fighting skills.”

“Why?” Steve wiped himself off with a towel. The fight against her hadn’t been exhausting, but he had been surprised nonetheless. “I can just beat them with strength.”

“I know you don’t actually think that. Rogers, what’s going-”

“I’m just… trying to deal with everything. Coming out, losing my time and friends, and now… I just need to get back in control.”

“I understand that desire.”

Steve looked at Natasha, and noticed some bruising around her neck. “Did I do that?” He gestured towards her neck, which she covered with her hand.

“No, I don’t think you were anywhere near my neck.”

“So this is from your murdering spree?”

“Again, not a spree. And I’m fine.”

Steve looked unconvinced, but knew how stalwart Natasha could be. “Have you been hearing the news?”

“Been getting notifications on my phone. How are you taking everything?”

“It’s hard. Some people, they’re starting a petition to remove me as Captain America.”

“Do you think they can?”

“I don’t know… if a lot of people think-”

“Let me tell you something Rogers. Most people are either supporting you, don’t know, or don’t care. It seems like a lot of people are complaining, but believe me, they’re not. It’s a minority complaining loudly. How many people did you see saying that you should step down as Captain America?”

“One… but he had the backing of 6 senators and 14 reps, and a group called the American Family Association.”

“I guarantee you that’s not as scary as it sounds. Those congress people will be reprimanded or condemned or scolded and they’ll apologize for shaming a war hero for his sexuality. Believe me, Rogers, whoever’s stupid idea it was, they will be facing one hell of a backlash, from both sides of the aisle.”

Steve nodded his head. The advice he had been receiving over the last 11 days, it was really helping him deal with coming out. He had so many people supporting him, and he had been treating them poorly.

“Natasha-”

“You don’t need to apologize to me, Rogers. But, I would love to teach you some martial arts, if you don’t mind?”

Steve smiled. “I don’t, and I would love to train under your tutelage, Miss Romanoff.”

Natasha laughed. “Oh Rogers, you’re fitting to make me blush.”

Steve chuckled and stood up. “So when are you planning on teaching me?”

“Next Thursday? 10 in the morning?”

“Sounds like a plan. You going on the elevator?”

“Nah. Want to be down here for a little bit.”

Steve nodded his head and got on the elevator. “JARVIS, where is Tony?”

_“Sir is in his lab.”_

“Can you take me there?”

_“Yes, of course.”_

The elevator went down to Tony’s lab, and when Steve got off the elevator, he saw Tony working on something.

“Tony.”

Tony was busy humming to a rock song Steve was unfamiliar with.

“Tony!”

He turned around and nodded at Steve. “Cap.” He went back to his work.

“Can we talk?”

Tony sighed and turned down his music. “I know you’re stressed and everything, but that gives you no right-”

“I know. I came down to apologize.”

Tony raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yes. I was rude to you, Thor, Bruce, and Clint. You guys were helping me out, but I… I was being a jerk. I’m sorry. And I know you weren’t trying to use my sexuality against me. There’s no excuse for my rudeness.”

Tony sighed and went back to tinkering. “I’m sorry too, Cap. you’re going through a lot-”

“Which isn’t your fault. Thanks for being a good friend."

“No problem Cap.”

"And thank you for the advice you gave me. It was helpful, and I appreciated it."

Tony smiled at him. "Glad it helped you."

Steve got back on the elevator. “JARVIS, is everyone else in the common room?”  
_“Yes, watching Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back.”_

That was one of the movies on his list. According to Tony it was a pop culture must-see. “Take me there, JARVIS.”

When he walked in the common room, he saw Clint, Bruce, and Thor watching the movie. Well, really only Clint was watching it. Thor seemed to be mocking the sci-fi aspects in it and Bruce was writing something.

“It is as if space has never been seen before by you Midgardians. And this… Darth Vader fellow seems as formidable as one of your Midgard lions.”

“It’s just a movie, Thor. And most people find lions formidable.”

“Not if you’ve fought a Jotunheim beast.”

“I hope you haven’t been fighting lions.”

All 3 turned to look at him. Thor smiled at him.

“I would never, Captain. It would be too one-sided.”

Clint pursed his lips and nodded at Steve. “Nice to see you, Cap. Been a couple of days.”

“I wanted to apologize.”

Bruce gave him an apologetic look. “You don’t need to-”

“I do. I said some very rude things, and I regret that. I’m sorry. I just… I’m feeling a little stressed. From everything, and I took it out on you guys, when you were being true friends. So I’m sorry.” He looked at Clint.

Thor stood up, and lumbered over to Steve. He unconsciously took a step back, Thor was a sturdier, taller man than he was. When he reached Steve, he slapped his hand on his back and smiled at him.  
“You are an honest man, Captain.”

“Thanks Thor.” Steve tried to ignore the flare of pain from Thor’s otherwise friendly gesture.

“I am sorry that Midgardians can be small-minded when it comes to matters of love and attraction.”

“Thanks Thor.”

“Apology accepted, Cap,” Bruce said. “I understand the stress of having emotions flare up, so of course I’m not mad at you.”

Clint still hadn’t said anything. Steve sighed.

“I’m sorry for implying you’re disloyal. Or that you can’t be loyal to more than one person or group. You’re an amazing friend, and I was just projecting my anxieties onto you. I think. And I’m sorry-”

“If you say sorry one more time, I will nail you in the face with the remote. I forgive you, course I do. You still owe me a poker game.”

Steve chuckled. “You’ll get a poker game from me.”

“Are you done with your apology tour?” Bruce asked.

“Still gotta give one to Pepper. And I need to talk to Fury about something.”

“Uh oh,” Clint teased.

“Cap, you want to watch with us?”

Steve shrugged his shoulders. “Sure. Haven't seen it, so, why not?”

“What? You haven’t? What about _A New Hope_?”

“Yes.”

“Great. JARVIS, play back from the beginning.”

Steve laughed and sat down next to Thor and Clint on the couch.

~~~

He had apologized to Pepper, who gladly accepted his apology and hugged him goodbye before her flight back to Malibu. He was happy to have made up with his friends. Now he had to finish today with a conversation with Nick Fury.

“I don’t think I heard you correctly.”

“You did,” Steve insisted. “I’m not doing a press conference.”

“Why not?”

“I have nothing to explain. I’ll direct any reporters to my interview if they have a question about my sexuality.”

“Captain-”

“Director Fury, your advice helped me.”

If Fury’s silence was an indicator, Steve would’ve guessed he was surprised by that.  
“It really did. If I discuss my sexuality too much, it’ll be just want my detractors want. It’s important to me. But it’s not my defining characteristic. As long as I keep being Captain America, these guys will have nothing to point to to determine my unfitness.”

“Glad to have given you sage advice, Captain, but-”

“I’m not having one, Director. I hope you can respect that.”

Fury looked like he wanted to say something else, but decided against it. “I do. Thank you for calling me Captain.”

“No problem.” Steve hung up the phone, and lay back against his bed. He _was_ Captain America. And he was an openly gay man. The two didn’t conflict. And there was no way he would let anyone take either of those things away from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never watched The Empire Strikes Back, which is why I kept Thor's criticism vague, I just thought it'd be fun to have Thor's view of the sci-fi genre. Also, if I was insensitive dealing with Steve's feelings after coming out, please tell me, because that is the last thing I would want. Thank you again for reading.


	5. Restlessness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He felt bored. After telling this to Pepper, she said the craziest thing he had ever heard her say, he was almost sure she was pranking him.  
> She said, “Come work at SI.”  
> Steve laughed right there, knowing there was no way she could be joking. But once he noticed there was no laughter or smile coming from Pepper, he realized she was serious.  
> “You meant that?”  
> “Of course I did.”  
> “What would I even do at SI?”  
> “I don’t know. Art stuff.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is technically split, and the next chapter will feel like a direct continuation of this one. In the middle of the chapter, there is an OC. She's there from "Actually, it's neither" to the second "See you." It's a big chunk, but I know that OCs aren't everyone's cup of tea, so I wanted to warn anyone not interested in that. Thank you guys for reading, and thank you for putting up with my inconsistent posting schedule. Comments and kudos are appreciated.

Jobs were necessary in an adult’s life. They provided people with the money that they needed for things like food, housing, schooling, fun, basically life. They also filled people with something to do in between waking up and going to sleep. Steve had had a job back in the 40s, before he was Captain America. When he could work, he would assist Mr. Callaghan at his shop by drawing up posters for him. Mr. Callaghan was a grumpy, but well-meaning man, very understanding of Steve’s situation. It was a nice job, but it was boring. Sam had been able to work at the docks, and he always talked about the waterfront and the view of the harbor, and Steve wished he could’ve been there. He wasn’t too broken up when he quit to join the Army. The job wasn’t bad or anything, Steve loved art, just not his job for the time period they were in. Jobs were important, no matter if you liked them or not. And all of Steve’s friends had jobs.

Pepper was CEO of Stark Industries and Tony worked in R&D at Stark Industries. Bruce went to third world countries to provide medical services. Natasha and Clint worked for SHIELD, and Thor had princely duties for Asgard. Steve, though, he woke up at 5 am, went on a jog around New York, came back to the gym to assault some gym bags, and then learned various things to catch up to his time period. After the brief flurry of intense focus on him after coming out, it died down, which dialed down the craziness in his life as well. As if having a Norse god occassionally come down to play Mario Kart wasn’t crazy enough.

He felt bored. After telling this to Pepper, she said the craziest thing he had ever heard her say, he was almost sure she was pranking him.

She said, “Come work at SI.”

Steve laughed right there, knowing there was no way she could be joking. But once he noticed there was no laughter or smile coming from Pepper, he realized she was serious.

“You meant that?”

“Of course I did.”

“What would I even do at SI?”

“I don’t know. Art stuff.”

“That answer fills me with confidence.”

“Steve, you’re filling bored. Here’s a way to undo your boredom.”

“I don’t know…”

“You don’t have to, of course, but don’t completely reject it. Have you see Tony, by the way?”

“He’s hiding from you in the lab.”

“Figured. Come with me, Steve.”

They took the elevator down to Tony’s lab. “Where else do you think you could work?”

Steve shrugged his shoulders. “SHIELD would probably be the best fit, honestly.”

Pepper nodded her head thoughtfully. “I could see why that would appeal to you. Well, Steve, you have lots of options, don’t forget that.”

The elevator opened, and Pepper knocked on the lab door. “Tony, can you open up?”

There was no response. Pepper sighed. “JARVIS, can you tell Tony that Steve and I are outside of the lab?”

_ “Yes, Ms. Potts.” _

“Oh yeah, why am I here, Pepper?”

“You, Tony, and I are going out to lunch.”

“We are?”

“Yep.” 

“Oh. Why?”

“Because that’s what friends do.”

_ “Sir told me to tell you that’s lovely.” _

“JARVIS, tell him I will have Captain Rogers break down the door if he doesn’t come out.”

_ “Will do, Ms. Potts.” _

“I doubt I can do that. It’s made of reinforced steel. Besides, Tony would probably hold out just to see if I could.”

“If it were any other door, I would whole-heartedly agree. But, this is his lab door, so…”

Tony opened the door and glared at Pepper. “Low blow, Pep.”

“We’re going out to lunch, so let’s go.”

“Can’t Pepper-”

She cut him off with a glare that made Steve step back. Tony looked at Steve, but all he did was shrug his shoulders. Pepper looked back at Steve, then to Tony.

“Steve knows whose side he’s on.”

Tony deflated. “Fine, whatever. Give me a few minutes.”

“If you’re not up in five-”

“Cap’s gonna knock down the door, I get it.”

****

“Pep’s right, Cap. you should just work at SI.”

“I don’t know… I’ve never seen myself working in a stuffy office.”

“I’ll have you know that SI’s offices are the least stuffiest in the country.”

“There’s no possible way for you to know that.”

“Whatever you decide to go with, Steve, just remember that you’re going to have to do it. You need to do something that you know you can do and, preferably, that you enjoy doing.”

“Once again, my lovely paramour is correct.”

“I don’t think Pepper’s ever wrong.”

“You both put way too much stock in me. I appreciate it.”

“Are you heading back to California soon?”

“Tonight.”

“Really?”

“Yep. Tony, don’t you need to tell Steve something?”

“Oh right. I’ll be in California for a week, too.”

“What?” Steve didn’t care about the stares they got. Tony winced, and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Did I not mention that?”

Steve narrowed his eyes at him. “You know you didn’t.”

“Yeah… but I’ll be back soon enough.”

Steve rubbed his forehead. “What am I supposed to do for a week?”

“Well, do whatever you want, just don’t trash the Tower.”

Pepper rolled her eyes. “Ignore him. Steve, this will be a great opportunity for you. This is a chance for you to explore yourself outside of the Avengers. Who knows, you might even find a job or hobby you’re interested in.”

“Besides, isn’t Natasha coming around on Thursday to teach you some martial arts?”

“She’s supposed to, but it’s all dependent on her schedule.”

“You’ll be fine, Steve. Unless you trash the Tower. Then we’ll have problems.”

Steve chuckled. “I won’t trash the Tower, Pepper.”   
“Good. Don’t worry, you won’t be on your own long.”

“Just hope everything goes well in California.” Steve smiled, as if his brain wasn’t melting down with awkward idea of being alone in this practically new world. He couldn’t stop Pepper and Tony from living their lives and fulfilling their obligations, though. “I’m an adult, I’ll be fine.”

****

Steve was bored. He had destoryed 12 of the reinforced punching bags, which he knew Tony would give him guff for. He grimaced at thinking of the word ‘guff.’ Natasha would be visiting in two days, but until then, he had nothing to do.

_ “Captain Rogers, you are receiving a call.” _

“It’s probably Pepper or Tony. If it’s Tony, I’ll call back.”

_ “Actually, it’s neither. It is a woman named Mandy.” _

The name immediately clicked with Steve. “Oh, Mandy. Where’s my phone? Do I need my phone? JARVIS, where’s my phone? Wait, no don’t answer-”

There was a click, and a female voice asked, “Hello?”

Steve was a little more confused than he’d like to admit. “JARVIS?”

“Uh, no… this is Mandy? From the cleanup? I understand if you don’t remember-”

“Oh, I do. It’s just… bad at technology, so I wasn’t sure if you were my… AI or not.”

“I suppose it happens to the best of us. I’ve been trying to call you.”

“Right…” Steve knew that she had been. He had been reluctant to leave the Tower since coming out, though, and he didn’t want to have to deal with the awkwardness of Mandy knowing he was Captain America. “Sorry about that.”

“No, it makes sense with the whole frenzy of coming out.”

“Normally I would’ve answered, but I had been tricked by an unknown number that was really a reporter, and Tony told me not to take any more chances-”

“When you say Tony, do you mean Tony Stark?”

“Uh… yeah.”

“It’s cool how you casually call him Tony. Hey, does that mean you know Pepper Potts?”

“Yep.”

“She’s so awesome.”

“Wicked scary too.”

“Captain America thinks Pepper Potts is scary! This day just keeps getting better!”

He sighed. It always felt like he was Captain America first, Steve Rogers second. Usually not in the case of his team, but sometimes even with them he felt that. “Glad you’re happy.”

“You want to hang out? I know a nice place not even two blocks from that tower. Pretty sure you owe me a coffee.”

“That wasn’t back when you thought I was straight?”

“Oh Steve… or Captain, or-”

“Rogers is fine. Or Steve, if you’re bold.”

She laughed. “Steve. That’ll work. Steve, I never thought you were straight.”

“What?”

“Well, I didn’t know you were Captain America, and sure, I thought Captain America was straight. But you, Steve Grants- God, how did I not figure out it was you, that alias is so obvious- I thought you were… probably gay. Maybe bi. But I knew you weren’t straight.”

“How?”

“If you let me take you out for coffee, I’ll tell you my secret.” 

He could practically hear the wink. He chuckled. “Okay, I let you twist my arm enough. What’s this place called? It’s not Starbucks is it?”

That one got Mandy to burst out laughing. “Captain America hates Starbucks, huh?”

“I like my coffee simple.”

“Lucky for you, I have good taste. It’s called Frisson Espresso. Er… you’ll be able to find it, right. You know how to use that AI of yours?”

“I know it sounds like I don’t, but I actually do.”

“I trust you on that. How does 1 sound?”

“It’s a…”

“Platonic friend meeting.”

“Bit long. I like it, though.”

“Great. See you later, Steve.”

“You too, Mandy.”

****

Steve got there 40 minutes early. There wasn’t any particular reason, he just wanted to get out of the house, and hoped it would have taken longer to get the coffee shop. With the help of JARVIS, though, he had been able to jog there in 15 minutes. He decided to walk around until about 12:50, finding a table for him and Mandy on the outdoor patio. He was in his typical daytime ensamble of a cap and sunglasses, not wanting anyone to recognize him. Mandy walked in the door right at 1, and Steve had to commend her for her punctuality.

“I’m with the Grants party.”

“Right this way, ma’am.” The hostess walked Mandy to the table. “A server will come to take your order.”

“Thank you.” She raised an eyebrow when she saw him. “Do you think that works?”

“What?”

“Your little get-up. Do you think it’s hiding your identity?”

“Are you saying it’s not?”

“It’s like slapping glasses on Superman and calling him Clark Kent.”

“Well it works for him, so you’ll have to come up with a better example.”

She laughed. “You’re way funnier than people give you credit for. And I had no idea you’ve heard of Superman.”

“Are you kidding? I remember when those comic books first came out. It was Action Comics, and Superman was featured on the first… 13 pages if I’m not mistaken. Never had a comic book myself, but all the boys in my class were bringing them to school and reading them.”

“Learn something new everyday. Like apparently they were making comics in the heart of the Depression.”

“People did more than wait in breadlines.”

“Well I assumed, but I figured that would’ve taken up most people’s time.”

Steve chuckled. “You’re pretty funny yourself. Does this really not hide my identity?”

“Why don’t you ask those giggling fans over there?”

Steve looked over and saw a group of teenage girls giggling and pointing their phones at him. He grimly turned back to Mandy. “I see.”

“Yeah. Don’t know how you figured it did.”

“You can’t see my hair or eyes.”

“Didn’t realize that was the only way to identify someone.”

“I thought it would work.”

A waiter walked up to them, and clearly had to school his expression when he saw Steve. “Can- can I take your order?”

“Yes, I would like a black coffee and a bacon and egg croissant.”

“And I would like a chai tea latte with a glazed donut.”

“Coming right up.” 

Steve noticed the waiter looking over his shoulder all the way back to the kitchen, sneaking peeks at Steve. “I guess this really isn’t working.”

“Nope.”

“Maybe it’s the glasses.”

“I doubt it.”

“Superman doesn’t even need the hat to disguise himself. It’s all about the glasses.”

“They do make him look less dynamic. So how have things been going with you?”

“Good. Everything’s settling down.”

“With the whole coming out thing?”

“That and just adjusting to living in a new century.”

“Yeah, if I was from the 20th century and abruptly moved into the 21st, I would be shocked by prices and technology and bananas-”

“I’m glad you brought that up, because no one seems to understand my problems with bananas. They look so different, I don’t eat bananas now.”

“Seriously?”

“Okay, that’s being a little dramatic. But still, it feels so weird. A disease killing off bananas? It feels like something out of H.G. Wells.”

“Are you a sci-fi fan?”

“Not as much as… my friend. He loved  _ 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea _ ,  _ The Time Machine _ , he was just so interested in them. I was more into fantasy. I loved the simplicity ot it. Good fighting evil, an epic battle, good triumphing… Sam was much better at seeing shades of gray.”

“Sam? Like Sergeant Sam Wilson?”

Steve hadn’t realized he had said his name. He briefly hesitated, but nodded his head. She nodded her head. 

“Didn’t know they had sci-fi back then.”

“Sam used to say that he was so drawn to sci-fi because of the possibilities it presented. He knew he’d never see a dragon flying around, but one day there might be a time machine or Captain Nemo’s advanced sub. And he wasn’t wrong, there are electrical subs just like Nemo’s in  _ 20,000 Leagues. _ He was always so fascinated by the possibilities of science.” Steve said it with so much passion, thinking about how excited Sam would be with all that science had done. He looked over at Mandy, and suddenly remembered he wasn’t alone, and bashfully ducked his head. The waiter came by with their drinks.

“Your food will be out here shortly.”

“Thank you.” 

“So do you remember when you were telling me that your coworkers didn’t understand New York?”

Steve nodded his head.

“You meant the Avengers?”

He nodded his head, a tad embarassed.

“Wow, the Avengers. That’s amazing. You guys are such heroes. Oh, and I stan how you stood up for them against Everheart.”

“You… stan?”

“Oh, it comes from this Eminem song, he’s a rapper-”

“I know. It feels like I listen to ‘Lose Yourself’ on a daily.”

“Oh my God, me too. Well, he had another song called ‘Stan.’ So it means an obsessive fan. So I was saying that I was obsessing over how you stood up for them.”

“Oh. Well then, thank you.”

The waiter brought their food. “Please call me if you need anything.”

“Thank you.”

“You know, I felt stupid when I saw that interview and realized Steve Grants was Captain America.”

“Sorry about that.”

She waved him off. “Don’t be. Can’t say I blame you. Besides, hanging out with Steve Rogers is cool.”

“Oh… thank you. So is hanging out with Mandy Oliver.” Steve took a bite out of his croissant. “And this croissant is delicious.”

“I am never wrong when it comes to good food.”

“I am inclined to believe that.”

They ate their lunch in relative silence, although it wasn’t awkward. After a few minutes, Mandy set down her cup.

“I’m about to ask a question, and you totally don’t have to answer, it’s really just out of curiosity, and I don’t want to offend-”

“Take a breath, Mandy. Ask away.”

“Well, okay. And remember, I’m not asking to offend.”

“I know.”

“When you came out to Everheart, she asked if there was anyone, and you kinda hesitated before you said no.” 

Steve was beginning to internally freak out. If she guessed Sam, should he admit it? He didn’t want to feel like he was denying his love to Sam, and if this whole ordeal taught him anything, it was to be proud of who he was.

“Did you… were in love with Sergeant Wilson?”

“No.”

“Oh. I just-”

“Still am. No past tense. And when he was alive… he loved me.”

“Oh.” This one was more excited than her previous ‘oh.’ “It seemed like there was something there. Does anyone else know?”

“Peggy Carter. But other than her, no. I was at first afraid what they’d say if they found out I’m gay, but now that that’s out of the way, I’m afraid they’ll tell me to move on. I mean, it’s been 70 years.”

“Well, not to you. It hasn’t even been a year for you.”

“Well, yeah-”

“So if anyone tells you that, just remind them of that. And remind them that people have to move on at their own pace. Two years ago, my fiancee, Cedric, died in a car accident.”

“Mandy, I’m so sorry-”

She held up her hand. “You don’t have to. I still haven’t really gotten over it. I mean, I went on my first ‘date’ since his death last week.”

“Why the quotation marks?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “Didn’t really consider it a date. But about a year after the accident, my friends were trying to get me to move on. It bugged me to know end. To them I was wallowing, but to me, it was…”

“Processing. Grieving. Accepting.”

A sad smile came to her face. “Exactly. They weren’t trying to be insensitive, I know they weren’t, but… they didn’t fully get it either. And I’m still not over it. I don’t know when I’ll date again, but I want to do it at my pace. And if that means I never date again… I’m prepared for that.”

“That was certainly profound.”

She cracked a grin. “Thank you.”

They finished up their conversation, and their lunch.

“Thanks Mandy. I’ll have to do this again sometime.”

“Me too, Steve. See you later.”

“See you.”

****

“Aw look, it’s Captain America at a quaint cafe in the Diamond District.” Natasha showed a photo of him and Mandy, and he rolled his eyes.

“Please, the Diamond District isn’t on 47th.” He ignored the magazine’s questioning of his sexuality.

“Yeah, well saying ‘Diamond District’ sounds more interesting than ‘West 47th Street.’”

“We usually don’t say ‘street’ or the direction in New York. It’s just 47th. People know what you mean.”

Natasha laughed. “Look at you teaching me New York vernacular.”

“Just so people don’t look at you a little weird when you’re walking down the street.”

“Pretty New Yorkers don’t care. They look like they’ve seen it all.”

“You ready for this?”

“Lets see if you’ve been practicing.”

Natasha had been teaching him jiu-jitsu and judo, both he had been picking up with relative ease. The two stepped on the mat, and Natasha attacked first, not giving him any time to get settled. He was quick to respond though, and blocked her hit. Although he was already a strong fighter, training with Natasha had made him better with technique and agility.

“How’s it been with the Tower to yourself?”

“A little boring to be honest. I think I need a job.” He stuck out his leg to kick out hers, but she was able to backflip away.   
“Oh yeah? Where?” A scissor kick was aimed towards Steve.

He grabbed her leg, but just barely. “Maybe Stark Industries.” He threw her to the mat.

She quickly got up and into a fighting position. “You, Stark Industries?” She went to wrap her leg’s around Steve’s neck.

“What, can’t see me in an office?” He knelt down, and wrapped his elbow around her knee, flipping her onto the mat.   
“Rogers, you can’t see yourself in an office.” She tried to kick out his knee, but he rolled away.

“Yeah, well what do you suggest then?” They both stood up.

“What about SHIELD?” She landed two body shots, before ducking under Steve’s swing.

“I was thinking about that. But…” He tried to hit her again, but she was able to move out of the way.

“But what?” She tried an elbow to the chest, but it was easy for him to block. The backwards kick to the abdomen, not so much.

He groaned and rubbed his stomach. “I’m not a spy, Romanov. And no offense, I don’t trust Fury.”

“Why would that offend me?” She kicked her leg, but he used his forearm to block it and knock her off balance.

“Because… I’m not sure I trust  _ you _ yet. You’re very close with him.”

“Ouch.” She had a smirk, though, so Steve was sure he didn’t offend her. He wasn’t sure with her, though. “Well if you think you’d be fit with Stark Industries, you’re deluding yourself.”

“Ouch.” He caught her off-guard with an elbow to the jaw. She backed away, rubbing it gingerly. It was not easy to catch Natasha Romanov off-guard.

“I just think you should consider SHIELD, Rogers.” She walked off the mat. “You’ve been practicing.”

“Hey, where are you going?”

“See you next Thursday.”

“Natasha, why are you leaving?”

“I have a  _ job, _ Steve.” Although the answer was still in a teasing voice, it still stung Steve a bit. “We’ll go again next time. You still got plenty to learn.”

Steve was still confused when she left, but figured it was best not to question the workings of Natasha’s mind. He put up one of the punching bags, and began to hit it.

****

Natasha turned on her watch, and whispered into it. “The idea of SHIELD was already considered by Subject 1. I think I have made a stronger anchor. Will continue next week.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Natasha doing sneaky spy stuff!  
> I'm planning on having the OC in the next chapter. If you guys don't want that, please tell me, so that I can allude to her, rather than writing her in directly. Next chapter is the last one with her in it, so it's not too much with an OC.


	6. Ch. 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They walked into the hallway. She folded her arms over her chest giving him a serious look. “I’m glad that you’re enjoying your time in this new future, but-”  
> “What? I really need to join SHIELD?”  
> “Or do something, Rogers. What are you doing, anyway?”  
> “I’m… getting acclimated-”  
> “You can’t do two things at once? You can’t get acclimated to your new surroundings and put your skills to good use?”  
> Steve was at a loss for words. Of course he could, but he hadn’t been. That wasn’t like him at all; he had always wanted to help people, and what was he doing now that he could? Playing video games and debating books. Natasha sighed.  
> “You don’t have to work for SHIELD. But I know you want to be helping someone. Lots of ways you can do that. And you’re a Hufflepuff/Gryffindor combo. More Hufflepuff, though.” She walked away, not letting him respond. Steve frowned at the ground, going over the words Natasha told him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> College is my main excuse for the long wait, but it still should have come sooner, so I'm sorry about. Thank you to everyone who has read, commented, or left a kudos! Hope you enjoy!

Steve had continued to work with Natasha and meet with Mandy, and he found that it was a good balance of work and socializing. Although, he still didn’t have a job, despite Natasha’s insistence of him working for SHIELD.

“You’d be good at it.”

“Thanks Romanov, but I still need to think about it…”

“Don’t tell me you’re actually considering a desk job at Stark Industries.”

“What?” He hated how defensive he sounded. “Don’t think I can do it?”

“I know you find it difficult to believe, but not every critique is an invitation for a challenge. And I wasn’t saying that you couldn’t.”

Steve deflated. “Yeah, I know. But… I don’t know about SHIELD. Fury isn’t a trustworthy guy.”

She shrugged, almost as if didn’t matter. “Lots of people aren’t trustworthy.”

“He’s more untrustworthy than most.”

“He’s honest about how untrustworthy he is. Means he is more trustworthy than most.”

“Or he just doesn’t care.” He dodged a punch she threw at him.   
“I’m just telling you, Rogers. Besides, Fury is nothing if not smart. He won’t have you doing anything underhanded or sneaky, he knows that’s not your style.”

“How can you work for someone whose secrets have secrets?”

She cracked a smile at that, which surprised Steve, because he wasn’t trying to be funny. “I guess it’s easier when your secrets have secrets. I… I understand Fury. It’s difficult to explain.”

It was Steve’s turn to shrug his shoulders. “I wasn’t trying to imply anything about you. Just curious, I suppose. If he works for you, then more power to you. I just don’t know if he works for me.”

“Well, don’t rule him out just yet. You guys have the same goals, just different ways of getting there. Who knows, you guys might rub off on each other.”

Steve smirked. “Doubt that. See you next week, Romanov.”

“Might be two weeks, actually. Got a mission in Romania.”

“Oh. Uh, see you… whenever, then.”

“No problem.” 

“What’s going-”

“You know I can’t tell you. But our goal is to save those defenseless civilians. Not every country has a Captain America.” Natasha left, knowing that the words would be playing in Steve’s head.

Steve took pause at that. Before he could ask her anything else, though, she left. He sat on the bench, thinking about that. His title was ‘Captain America,’ but that was a propaganda piece more than anything. Despite all their sneakiness, SHIELD was designed to help people worldwide. Peggy had founded it, she wouldn’t have had it any other way. And despite all his misgivings about Fury, at heart, he did seem to be more ideal than his words would have suggested. He started a group based on people with extraordinary powers and abilities because he thought that they could do the things that average people couldn’t. He couldn’t turn a blind eye to problems, and honestly Steve was the same way. Maybe Natasha had a point. He shook his head and got cleaned up. He was meeting Mandy for lunch.

Mandy was discussing her day, but Steve was passively listening at best. He wished he could say he was attentively listening to every word, but it wasn’t true. He was way too preoccupied with this whole SHIELD situation. They had pulled him out of the ice, could they coerce him into joining? Should they even have to go that far? There was really  _ no _ reason he shouldn’t be working for SHIELD.

“Earth to Rogers, Earth to Rogers.”

He looked at Mandy, who was giving him an amused look.

“I’ve been talking for quite a bit, but I don’t think you were paying attention.”

“I’m sorry. Just thinking about something.”

“Still about your job predicament?”

“Yeah. Like I was telling you, there was this job that I think would work well, like really well for me, but I don’t know if their… ideals-” he winced at his poor word choice, “are compatible with mine. And I know that would be really important for me.”

“As it should. You shouldn’t compromise your basic principles for your job.”

“Yeah… but I feel like me and the… management for this job have really similar goals. I just don’t know about the means to get to those goals.”

“Do you think the ends justify the means?”

“Well… it depends. I did some things, questionable things, during the war. But I was with people who understood my goals.”

“Have you talked with management about your apprehensions?”

“A little… not really.”

“Maybe you should. You’d probably get a straight answer rather than this whole guessing game business.”

“Yeah, I know…”

“Anything else crashing around in that super soldier brain of yours?”

He chuckled. “Nope, you helped everything get cleared out for now. Now, back to your day, how’s your feud with Ricky going?”

“Oh, don’t even get me started on that…”

Steve listened to Mandy, trying not to let the pressure of SHIELD weigh on him too much. At least, not until he got to speak to Natasha.

Natasha was still on her mission, but Clint was still recovering from his hand injury, so he was hanging around the Tower with him. Clint had declared pizza and Mario Kart the way to go, and despite being down a hand, he was still thoroughly beating Steve.

“Man Cap, don’t you get tired of losing?”

“No Clint, I absolutely love losing to you. It’s just so gosh darn great when you brag about how you’re the Mario Kart King before shoving your mouth with absolutely mouth watering pineapple pizza.”

“Sarcasm is weird when it comes from you. And pineapple pizza is the best.” 

Steve wrinkled his nose at that, and had a bite of his  _ very normal  _ meat lovers pizza. “Do you like working for SHIELD?”

“Well the injuries aren’t that great. But yeah, I do. Heard you were considering it.”

“Let me guess: Natasha told you?”

“You know any other SHIELD agents?”

“Natasha is wildly overstating my interest. She’s been pushing it rather intensely.”

“Whoever recruits the most SHIELD agents by the end of the year gets a pizza party.”

Steve gave Clint a look before resuming the game. “Sure Barton. But you like spying?”

“What can I say, I’m good at it.”

“Yeah, I’m good at crashing planes, but I don’t do it for a living.”

Clint almost choked on his pizza from laughing too hard. “I know Tony said you had a really dry sense of humor, but I didn’t believe him.”

Steve shrugged. “Do you like Fury?”

“I know he can rub people the wrong way, but he believes in people. Kinda like you, Cap. Just from a more cynical point of view.”

“How can you believe in people from a cynical point of view?”

“By understanding them.”

Steve was a little caught off-guard by the statement. It was profound, in a way, especially coming from Clint. But, Clint shoved another piece of pineapple pizza in his mouth and blue-shelled Steve, ending the moment. “Really?”

“Blue shell, motherfucker.”

“Language.” It slipped out. Of course he didn’t care about the swearing, he had been a soldier. But it reminded him of something that Sam would say, prompting Steve to act like his wildly inaccurate comics portrayal. Clint paused the game and began to laugh.

“Oh my God, really? Language?”

“I didn’t mean it…”

“No, that’s fine, come from a different time and all that.”

Steve gave him a look. “You know they had swearing back in my day, right?”

“Then why say language?”

Steve didn’t answer. He was a little embarrassed by the reasoning, and although he liked Clint just fine, the two weren’t close enough for Steve to disclose that information to him. Clint chuckled.

“Exactly.”

“Let’s just get back to the game.”

It was quiet for a few minutes, with the only sounds being the ones from the video game. Finally, Clint asked, “What do you do? You know, when no one is here?”

“Go to the gym, usually. Read a little bit, sometimes hop the train and visit Peggy.”

“You ever get bored?”

Steve shrugged his shoulders. “Just try to have a good routine.”

“Routines are boring.”

He didn’t respond. Tony had said the same thing a few days ago when he suggested routines as a way to get more grounded. It seemed that most of his teammates though negatively of routines. Bruce might’ve been the only other teammate that wouldn’t have thought negatively of routines. Maybe.

“Lost again, Cap.” Clint’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts. “You wanna play again?”

“No, I’m gonna go run around for a bit.”

“Okie dokie. I’m gonna raid Tony’s fridge.” 

Steve nodded his head and went outside. He loved running around the city, seeing the sights of this new New York. The wording was awkward, but his teammates usually understood what he meant, although Tony or Clint would usually laugh, mentioning something called Futurama. It was on his list. The only thing he didn’t like about running around the city was how crowded it was. Either people were pushing and shoving, trying to get to the places they needed to go to, or they were tourists stopping everywhere and taking pictures. It made it hard to get a good continuous run in. He usually ran to Central Park (it used to have a Hooverville, but now it’s so lush and verdant), run around the park several times, but he wanted to shake things up this time around. As comfortable as routines were, they were limiting. He ran down the sidewalks, ignoring the upset New Yorkers who would yell at him as he jostled them, trying to look for something new. He didn’t have to run far for that, practically everything was new to him. He stopped in front of a bookstore called Barnes and Noble (that building didn’t  _ use _ to be a bookstore, but he has to shake that thought out of his head), and decided to walk in. He noticed there were less books than he would’ve thought would be in a bookstore. There was also a cafe called Starbucks (he had heard of it before), taking up a significant portion of the store. There was also a lot of posters and standees for something called  _ The Hunger Games _ , with a young woman armed with a bow and arrow being featured. The cashier was a bored young woman, staring blankly at the back wall. Steve cautiously walked up to her.

“Hi miss. How are you?”

“Fine, I guess.”

“That’s good. So… where are the books?”

She gestured blankly to the books there.

“Yes, but those are mostly kid books. Are there any Tolkien books? Or Dickens, maybe? I’d love to read-”

“Okay, so I’m gonna stop you there. If you’re looking for, like, old people books, you’d find them in the classics aisle. The back aisle is reserved for art supplies and up here is comic and ‘kids’ books. The tablets and Kindles, as well as other electronic devices are along that wall, and young adult is the middle two aisles.”

He needed to step out of his comfort zone. “I am a young adult. Would those books be for me?”

“If you like complicated and stupid vampire and werewolf triangles, then sure. I personally love them.”

“Then why call them stupid?”

She shrugged her shoulders. Steve thought for a bit.

“Is there anything else? In that young adult section?”

“You might find the Harry Potter books there. And as you can see, we’re doing a whole thing for  _ The Hunger Games _ . Even though the series ended, like, two years ago, the movie’s coming out, so we’ve been spotlighting it. It’s pretty cool. Twilight’s last movie is coming out to, so there’s a little of it being featured, but the main focus is  _ The Hunger Games _ .”

“You’re not from here, are you?”

“That’s rude to point out.”

Steve was about to apologize, but the young woman said, “Yeah, I’m from California. Place called San Jose. Go to NYU.”

“That’s cool. Nice, acceptable.”

“You’re weird, huh?”

“That’s rude to point out.”

She smiled for the first time in the conversation. “Good point. So what’s your name? Mine’s, like, Jordan.”

“Never heard that as a girls name.”

She shrugged. “It is what it is. So, what’s your name?”

“St… Stephan.” If he was going to work for a spy organization (which he hadn’t decided yet) he needed to be able to lie, right?

“Well that’s a lie.”

Damn. “Nope, nope, that’s my name. My pops… my dad gave me that name.”

“Yeah, well, it can’t be your name, since your name is Steve Rogers.”

“You knew? Then why ask?”

“Wanted to make you feel stressed.”

“Well thanks.”

“Yeah, no problem. So, what was up with the lie?”

“I don’t know. Guess it’s nice not being recognized.”

“Hm. Well, if you need any more help, you can ask. Stephan.” 

He smiled at her. “Thanks. So… is ‘young adult’ important for popular culture?”

“I’m going to be completely honest with you. Only if you’re heavily involved in it. Like, my roommate that I hate, she loves  _ Divergent _ . Most normal people have never read it, unless they’re really into the dystopian genre. The only over there that is, like, almost universal, is  _ Harry Potter _ . If you want to invest in anything in the YA genre, I’d suggest that.”

“Oh. What is it about?”

“Boy discovers he’s a wizard. Well, discovered is a stretch. More like he was told. Has to fight evil, meets friends and enemies, goes to school, y’know, basic stuff.”

“Right… and this is culturally significant?”

“Oh yeah. It’s pretty rockin’. I’d suggest it.”

“Hmm… maybe…”

“It’s 7 books.”

“7? That’s a lot to be told you’re a wizard, find friends, fight evil, and go to school.”

“Lots of things happen. I think you should read it though, Stephan. Couldn’t hurt.”

“Well… what’s the first one called?”

“The Sorcerer’s Stone.”

Steve went over to the  _ Harry Potter _ books, and picked it up. “I’ll buy this one, see if I’m interested.”

“Cool. Want this  _ Hunger Games _ T-Shirt for an additional 10$?”

Steve gave her a confused look. “No.” 

“I’m supposed to offer, because y’know…” She gestured to the standee.

“Right. I understand. I guess.”

“Hey, you can, like, say no if you want to, but we can take a selfie? My roommates would never believe I met you without proof.”

“Pics or it didn’t happen, huh?”

She gave him a surprised look. “ _ You’ve _ heard of that?”

“I’m trying to pass for someone around my physical age. That’s something people around our age would say, right?”

She nodded her head, and pulled out her phone. Steve bent down a little, and smiled, and she snapped a picture of them. “Nice meeting you, Stephan.”

“You too, Bobbi.”

Steve left the bookstore feeling a little more at ease. Sometimes, breaking out of routines was a good thing.

It was safe to say that Steve was enraptured by  _ Harry Potter _ . Clint and Tony had poked fun at him for reading it, and he could concede it was rather unusual, but he liked it. And he didn’t know if he was being self-involved or something, but he could see a little bit of himself in Harry. Not a lot, but enough that it gave Steve pause. He had nearly finished the book by that evening. He walked into the kitchen, where Tony was fixing himself some coffee.

“A little late to have some coffee isn’t it?”

“A little old to be reading a kids’ book, aren’t you?”

Steve rolled his eyes at him. “Can you fix me some?”

“Sure it’s not too late? I mean, it is almost seven.”

Steve started to head out, but was interrupted by Tony’s, “Cap, get back here. I’ll fix you some.”

“Thanks.” Steve looked at the cover of the book. “Which house do you think you are in?”

Tony smirked at him. “I’ve always pictured me in Ravenclaw.”

Steve snorted. Tony glared at him.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Oh come on, Tony, it’s so obvious you’re a Slytherin.”

“And how do you figure? I am an inventor, that’s very Ravenclaw.”

“You also are quite snarky, very ambitious, and you love breaking the rules to get what you want.”

“Oh, so that’s how you want to play it, huh? And what house do you think you’re in?”

Steve had been pondering this since learning about Hogswart houses. “Hufflepuff.”

“Oh really? How do you figure?”

“I value loyalty and just want what’s best for the people I ally myself with. Although, I think I have a fair amount of Gryffindor qualities as well-”

“Wrong,  _ mon capitaine _ , you too, are a Slytherin.”

Steve snorted again, this time more incredulously. “What? And what exactly makes me a Slytherin?”

“I heard a lot of stories about you growing up, Cap. And while they all basically said that you were the greatest man alive and that I needed to be more like you, I did notice some things.”

“Oh yeah? Like what?”

“You’ll break the rules to get what you want. Lying on your military papers? Illegally going into HYDRA territory to rescue your friend? Those are Slytherin traits, my friend.”

“Or they’re Hufflepuff traits. I never did those for me or to further my personal ambitions. I lied on my papers because I wanted to help my country, and I helped commandeer a plane with your father and Agent Carter because I wanted to save my friend.” Referring to Sam only as a friend hurt him a little bit. “That was out of loyalty.”

Tony handed him his coffee. “Sure Cap.” He was definitely not convinced. “What caused this conversation anyway? I know you’re reading the books now, but why do you want to know?”

“I don’t know… seems like a natural curiosity. It seems unfair to sort pre-teens like that, don’t you think?”

That gave Tony slight pause. “What do you mean?”

“I mean… there seems to be an emphasis nowadays not to let labels and words limit you, right?”

“Yeah…”

“And you have this popular book where that’s exactly what you do. It’s almost as if the kid’s destinies are being made for them, rather than them being able to choose their futures.”

“Hmm, I’ve never thought about it like that. Well what do you know, Cap? You’re making me see things from a series I haven’t read in 5 years.”

“It’s certainly an interesting book.”

“And how’d you discover this series? I don’t remember it being on your list.”

“No, it wasn’t. I went to a bookstore a few days ago, and this very… helpful young woman told me about the series.”

“Hmm. Glad that you’re getting more accustomed to this time. Slytherin.”

“Hufflepuff.”

“You boys are seriously arguing with each other over Hogwarts houses?”

Tony jumped, shocked at the sudden appearance of Natasha. He glared at her. “I don’t think anyone cares that I have a heart problem.”

“I thought you were on a mission.”

“Mission wrapped up and accomplished. Did what I had to do and all that jazz.”

“And you just decided to come skulking back here?”

She smirked sweetly at him. “Sorry Tony.” She looked over at Steve. “Can we talk?”

“Oh, yeah, Natasha, sure.”

They walked into the hallway. She folded her arms over her chest giving him a serious look. “I’m glad that you’re enjoying your time in this new future, but-”

“What? I really need to join SHIELD?”

“Or do  _ something _ , Rogers. What are you doing, anyway?”

“I’m… getting acclimated-”

“You can’t do two things at once? You can’t get acclimated to your new surroundings and put your skills to good use?”

Steve was at a loss for words. Of course he could, but he hadn’t been. That wasn’t like him at all; he had always wanted to help people, and what was he doing now that he could? Playing video games and debating books. Natasha sighed.

“You don’t have to work for SHIELD. But I know you want to be helping someone. Lots of ways you can do that. And you’re a Hufflepuff/Gryffindor combo. More Hufflepuff, though.” She walked away, not letting him respond. Steve frowned at the ground, going over the words Natasha told him. He heard a sharp, low whistle, and looked up, where he saw Tony standing at the beginning of the hallway.

“You okay, Cap? What was that all about?”

“Nothing Tony. Good night.”

“Don’t let the spy bother you too much, Cap. Miss Romanov seems more intimidating than she is.”

Steve walked into his room, Natasha’s words bugging him all night.

“You’re kind to visit an old woman.”

“Don’t make it sound like a chore, Peggy. Of course I enjoy visiting you.”

“Oh, I know you do, Steve. So, have you been taking my advice? Are you enjoying all this time has to offer?”

“Oh yeah. Started reading some contemporary books, exploring New York… it’s a little disorienting at times, but on the whole, very fascinating.” 

“I’m glad-” She began to cough violently. Steve gave  her some water, gently rubbing her back. “I’m glad you’re taking all of this in stride.”

“Yeah. Peggy, you founded SHIELD, right?”

“Yes, love.”

“That’s impressive, Peg. A whole spy agency.”

“Yes, one of my greatest accomplishments, I think. Along with my work with you and the Commandos in World War 2 and my family, of course. Have they tried recruiting you?”

“Yes… I feel lost Peggy. I mean… should I join SHIELD?”

“Do you want to? Don’t let them guilt you, Steve, it’s completely your choice.”

“I want… I haven’t been doing much since the Battle of New York. I want to help people. But I haven’t been doing anything. I feel… disappointed with myself.”

“Well I have helped many people with SHIELD… but it’s not the only way to help people, of course. But I know you’ll find a way to do what you want.”

“You have so much faith in me.”

“Of course I do, Steve.” She coughed some more. When she looked up at him, he could see her confusion, and knew what was coming. “Steve? That can’t be you.”

He gave her a small smile and rubbed her hand. “Yes, it’s me, Peg.”

“I- I thought you were dead. I’m so sorry. Howard tried so much…”

“I know, Peggy. I’m not mad.”

“And I’m sorry about Sam.”

Steve swallowed the lump in his throat. “Don’t worry. I’m dealing with it. You rest, Peggy.”

“Good bye, Steve. Don’t be too focused on me.”

He kissed her forehead. “Thank you. I’ll see you soon, I promise.” He left the room, knowing what he was going to do about his current predicament.

“Captain, I’m surprised to hear from you.”

“We should make this quick, Nick. I know you want me to work for SHIELD.”

“What gave it away?”

He ignored the sarcastic comment. “I’ll do it.”

If Fury was surprised, he didn’t show it. “Is that so? I’m happy to hear that, but I doubt it stops there.”

“I don’t want to be lied to, Nick.” He probably sounded like an idiot, telling a career spy that he didn’t want to receive any lies from him, but he needed it out there. “On these missions you send me on, I need… information. You can’t send me in blind or with false information.”

“I understand, Captain. But I must admit, I’m curious. What will happen if I don’t honor this agreement?”

“I’ll stop working for SHIELD, obviously.” Steve racked his brain, he couldn’t think of any serious threats. “And you’d have lost an ally. Consider me off-line, save for any world-ending, Avengers-level threats.”

He nodded his head, considering Steve’s terms. “I can work with this. Any other demands you have, Captain?”

“No bigots or anyone like that on my team. If they’re working with me, they have to respect my orientation, and the orientation, sex, or race of their fellow teammates.”

“I try not to have anyone like that, anyway, but I will make sure of that.”

“And for the moment, I would prefer to not work with Agent Romanov.”

Fury looked surprised, but soon shifted his face to his usual undisturbed countenance. “Really? And why is that?”

“To put it simply, I still don’t really trust you. And since you two are so close, I don’t exactly trust her, either. I would like to work with her eventually, but not right now.”

“I understand. Is that all?”

“Yes sir.”

“You’ll need to move to D.C. within a week.”

“Won’t I need a place to stay?”

“We’ll handle that. You just need to focus on moving.”

Steve nodded his head and stood up. “Thank you, sir.”

“I should be thanking you, Captain. You will be an immeasurable addition to SHIELD.”

Steve left, wondering how he was going to tell the friends he had made in New York. And Tony and Pepper, of course. Nick locked the door after the Captain left, and called up a number.

_ “You got Romanov.” _

“I don’t how you did it, but he’s agreed to work for SHIELD.”

_ “I’m sure I didn’t do much.” _

“No need to be humble, Romanov.”

_ “So when will he be joining STRIKE?” _

“Ah yes… about that… he won’t be joining for a bit. He’s not exactly comfortable with your… camaraderie with me.”

There was a bit of silence.

“Romanov?”

_ “Still here. Well, he’s not stupid.” _

“Never thought as much. A little naive, yes. But I never thought he was stupid. Point is, he’s joined the team.”

_ “The Secretary will be happy to hear this.” _

“Yes he will. You and Barton will help with the move.”

_ “Yes sir. I need to go.” _

“Bye Agent Romanov.” Nick set down his phone, and made arrangements for Captain Rogers’ arrival to D.C. He dialled another number.

“Agent 13? I have an assignment for you.”

“Well, I’ll miss you, but I hope D.C. is everything you want it to be.”

“Thanks, Mandy. I hope everything goes well too. I’m a little nervous, but I think everything will go well.”

“Probably will.” Mandy looked up at the business they stopped in front of. “Barnes and Noble? Why are we going to a bookstore?”

“Just some things I gotta do before I leave.” 

They walked in, and sure enough, Bobbi was there, reading a magazine. She looked up when they walked in, and a hint of a smile came on her face when she saw Steve. “Stephan.”

“Oh, you can call me Steve. She knows.”

Bobbi shrugged her shoulders. “I want to call you Stephan.”

“Fair enough. I finished  _ The Sorcerer’s Stone _ .”

“And? What did you think?”

“That’s actually why I’m here. I gotta get the rest of the books in the series.”

“You’ll find them in the same aisle where you found the first book.”

“Thanks.”

Mandy smirked at him. “Harry Potter?”

“I’m a young adult, Mandy. It’s a staple of the age range.”

“Okay, Mr. Young Adult. I think I’m going to get a book here.”

“How many books come after  _ The Sorcerer’s Stone _ ?”

“6.”

Steve deftly picked up books, titled  _ The Chamber of Secrets, The Prisoner of Azkaban, The Goblet of Fire, The Order of the Phoenix, The Half-Blood Prince, _ and  _ The Deathly Hallows. _ He walked up to the register, looking at the titles in interest. “Foreboding titles.”

“Oh yeah.” She began to scan them. “You know you don’t have to get them all at once, right? You can just take one for now, and come back for more.”

“I read quickly. And… I’m moving.”

She kept scanning, but Steve could tell she was a little surprised by that. “Where?”

“D.C. Job assignment.”

“Cool.”

“Have you ever been to D.C.?”

“No, but my roommate has.”

“The one you hate?”

“No, a different one, actually. The only one I don’t hate, girl named Becca. Her brother lives in D.C., so she goes there when she wants to visit him.”

“That’s nice. Does she like it?”

“Yeah. But I don’t know if she likes it because her brother lives there or because of the city itself.”

“Fair enough. I’m going to miss you, Jordan. Even though we’ve only talked once.”

“Yeah. You’re pretty cool for a 100 year old.”

“Well, I’m not actually 100 yet.”

Mandy walked up to the front, holding a book called the  _ Bone Setter’s Daughter _ . She smiled at Steve. “It’s cool that you made some new friends here.”

“Better than being all alone.”

“Depends.”

“If you come back to New York, be sure to drop a line.”

“Yeah, same here.”

“Aw, thanks guys. And if you guys ever come up to D.C., be sure to drop me a line, I’d love to hang out. Mandy, I’ll pay for your book.”

“Are you sure? You don’t have to.”

“Consider it thanks for all the time we’ve spent together.”

“Thanks Steve.”

“That comes out to 73.87.”

“Really? Here.” He handed her a debit card. She put it in the chip reader, and handed it back.

“Would you like your receipt?”

“Please.”

“Here you go. See you later, Stephan. You were a pretty chill guy.”

“Aw, you too, Jordan.” He and Mandy left. He handed her book, and she took a deep breath.

“Good luck, Steve.”

“Thanks Mandy. Hope everything goes well over here.”

“You too. You were a great guy to hang out with. And I was serious, if you’re ever back in the city, drop a line. I would love to hang out with you again.”

Steve smiled at her and the two hugged, before Mandy waved goodbye and walked away. Steve stuffed his hands in his pockets and sighed. He wondered how he was going to break the news to Tony and Pepper.

By the time he made it back to the Tower, it was nearly dark. Before he could go to the common room, though, Clint intercepted him.

“Cap.”

“Barton.”

“Guess we’re catching the elevator together.”

“Guess we are.” They stepped in together, and stood in silence, until Steve said, “You know?”

“Yep.” Clint casually popped the ‘p’ at the end. “How’re you going to break it to Stark?”

“I wish I knew. I like him, he’s a pretty good guy once you get to know him. He’ll be upset, I know it.”

“Well, better to do it know than just move out without telling him.”

“That goes without saying. Do you have any idea how I should do so?”

“Nah. I’m sure you’ll do well, though, Cap. I got faith in you.” They reached their floor, but before Clint stepped off, Steve stopped him.

“How much did Fury tell you?”

“Enough. Y’know, no bigots, morally questionable missions, secrets… Natasha.”

“Clint, I’m-”

“Don’t apologize, Cap. Spies are… they’re hard. I get it. Just glad you’re joining.” He walked away.

Steve sighed, raking his hand through his hair. He needed to somehow tell Pepper and Tony he’d be moving to D.C. He walked into the living room, and saw Pepper and Tony watching TV alongside Tony’s best friend, Colonel James Rhodes and Tony’s bodyguard/driver, Happy Hogan.

“Cap, where have you been?”

Steve felt stuck. He had expected Tony to be down in his lab. And he certainly hadn’t expected Rhodes or Hogan here, either. That’s what he got for not asking JARVIS ahead of time.

“Cap? You okay?”

“Uh… yeah… what are you guys watching?”

“I don’t know. Platypus, what are we watching?”

Rhodes rolled his eyes. “It’s called  _ It’s a Wonderful Life. _ For like the third time, Tony.”

“Sorry, it’s hard to keep track. I haven’t really been paying attention.”

“Jimmy Stewart,” Steve supplied. Colonel Rhodes nodded his head.

“You’ve seen it?”

“Yes, just a few weeks ago. I liked it.”

“Seems a little boring.” Tony tried putting his legs up on Pepper, but she pushed them off, rolling her eyes.

“You’d like it if you paid attention. Steve, would you like to watch?”

“Uh… that’s fine. Not necessary. I don’t want to impose.”

“You wouldn’t be imposing. Rhodey, Happy, you guys wouldn’t mind, right?”

They both shook their heads. Steve blew out a puff of air, and scratched the back of his head. Pepper gave him a sympathetic look.

“You don’t have to watch if you don’t want to.”

“Thanks Pep-”

“Well I don’t to, either.”

“Tones-”

“Ah ah, Platypus, I will also depart. Cap, come down to the lab with me, I want to talk about that giant frisbee you love so much.”

“Oh, that’s not necessary, Tony. I would hate-”

“Cap, you’re not bothering me. Come on.”

The two walked in the elevator. “Lab, J.”

“Yes sir.”

“Tony, we don’t have to go over this now-”   
‘Why not? You’re not doing anything, I’m not doing anything. Might as well.”

“But you were hanging out with Rhodey and Happy.” Steve winced at how weak that argument sounded. “And Pepper. I don’t want to take you away from your friends. And girlfriend.”

“They were watching a stupid movie. And newsflash, Cap, you’re my friend, too. And you can make up for it by not whining when I take you away from your future boyfriend.”

The elevator opened and the two walked in the lab.

“Wait, don’t you need my-” He saw the shield on a lab table. He groaned and rubbed his head. “Privacy, Tony, we’ve-”

“I know, I know, but I needed it, and you wouldn’t answer your phone.”

“You tried calling me? I didn’t notice.”

“Well I did, and you didn’t answer, so I just decided to take the shield.”

Steve looked at his phone, but didn’t see any record of Tony calling him. “Tony, it doesn’t-”   
“So I’m thinking magnets.”

He sighed. “Magnets for what?”

“Your shield, keep up with the conversation, Cap.”

“Tony, like I said, you don’t need to-”

“I want to. We’re friends, right Cap?”

Steve slightly hesitated, then nodded his head. “Yeah, of course we are.”

“Great. Then I’m happy to do this.” Tony picked up his shield. “I want to add magnets. I think it could really help you get the shield back when you throw it.”

“Could you do something like that?”   
“How dare you insult me like that in my own tower?”

Steve chuckled. “Right, right, please forgive me.”

“I suppose I can find a way to do that.” 

As Tony worked, Steve played with DUM-E, although it was not with as much enthusiasm as usual, and Tony took notice.

“You know, whatever is wrong, you can tell me.”

Steve stopped petting DUM-E for a moment. The machine whirred in something akin to disappointment, but Steve forced himself not to focus on the robot. “I have to tell you something.”

“Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

Steve sighed. “Tony… SHIELD’s been trying to recruit me…”   
“Oh, I already knew that. If Fury is getting on your nerves too much, I can tell him to stop or I won’t do his con-”   
“I accepted the job.”

Tony stopped working all of a sudden. Steve slowly got up, and went over to him. Before he could get too close, Tony held up his hand to stop him. Steve did so, and took a couple of steps backwards.

“Tony, I’m sor-”

“Get out.”

“Tony-”

“Here.” He thrust the shield towards him. Steve hesitated, but took the shield from Tony and left the lab, going up straight to his room. He really wished that had gone better.

The next morning, he went to the common room, where Rhodey, Happy, Clint, and Natasha, to his surprise, were playing cards. Natasha noticed him first, and flashed him an unreadable look before looking back at her cards. He groaned. She was probably mad at him, too. Pepper walked in, looking for something, and smiled at him. At least she wasn’t upset with him.

“Hi Steve. You sleep well?”

“No, but that’s not anything new.” 

She gave him a concerned look. “That shouldn’t be normal, Steve. If you’re having sleep troubles-”

“It’s fine, Pepper. Really.”

She smiled and rubbed his arm. “Well, when should we be expecting a moving company, Natasha?”

“A moving company?” Steve asked.

Pepper nodded her head. “Yes, for when you move to D.C.”

Rhodey and Happy sharply looked up. “What?”

“Steve is going to be working with SHIELD, so he’ll be moving to D.C. soon. Do you know when, Natasha? I presume SHIELD will be providing one.”

“They will be. They were thinking early next week would be a good time.”

“That works. Steve, you’ll need to get your things together.”

“Right, of course… Pepper, can we talk in the other room?”

“Of course.” She followed him into the adjacent room, where he shut the door behind them.

“Tony told you?”

“Yes. He was quite upset.”

“You’re not?”

“No, of course not. I had a feeling you would join SHIELD, I knew there was no way you would just stay here, exploring the city and learning more about the past 70 years until the next Avengers-level threat for long.”

“What should I do about Tony?”

“Honestly, the only thing you can do is wait. Tony is feeling stung by this, but he’ll get over it, I promise. But, you don’t want to keep explaining things to him either. He’ll feel like it’s his fault, and you’re just trying to placate him.”

“Okay. Thank you, Pepper.”

“Always, Steve. Come on, let’s start getting your things packed up.”

He followed Pepper out of the room, where Natasha was leaning against the hallway wall. 

“I need to speak to Steve.”

Pepper looked between the two, and nodded her head. “I’ll be in there, Steve.”

“Okay Pepper.”

Natasha looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “Kudos to you for joining SHIELD.”

“Guess you lit a fire under my belly, so to speak.” He scratched the back of his head. “Sorry. I’m sure you heard about my demands.”

“I did. I have no hard feelings.”   
“Really?”

“Believe me, Rogers, I get it. And you actually have a legitimate reason, I’ve heard lots of petty ones.  This is just for the start anyway, right?”   
“Yeah. No hard feelings, I just… I need to get to know other people in SHIELD.”

“You’re a bad liar, but I’m sure that can be fixed. Have you ever been to D.C.?”

“No, actually. I was asked to go there for an award, back in the 40s, but I had a mission with the Commandos.”

“Captain America never rests, huh?”

“That’s what it feels like sometimes.”

Natasha gave him a weird look, but it cleared from her face. “SHIELD is excited to have you.”

“Hey, Romanov, you don’t need to sell me on SHIELD, I already joined.”

That startled a laugh out of her. “Right. Sorry about that.”

“It’s alright. You helpin’ me pack or…?”

She held up her hands. “That seems like better just for you.”

Steve smirked at her. “Nice Romanov. See you later.” He went to his room, and began to pack his things. He was debating whether or not he should just bring everything with him, or leave some things behind. He began to pack away his art supplies, when there was a knock on his door.

“Who is it?”

“Rhodey.”

Steve suddenly stopped and looked at the door. He and Colonel Rhodes had only exchanged pleasantries before, never really having a conversation with him. He was one of the few people with military experience that he had come into contact with since waking up, though. “Please, come in.”

The man walked in, and Steve had his back ramrod straight. The man did technically outrank him, so disrespect was the last thing he wanted to present to him. Rhodes noticed his posture and began to chuckle.

“Might want to ease up there, man.”

Steve slowly relaxed, but still stood, eyeing the man warily. “What is it, Colonel?”

“Rhodey is fine. You’re moving out, huh?”

“Yep. Going up to D.C. to work for SHIELD.”

Rhodey nodded his head, absentmindedly looking around the room. “That’s good. Have you sought any veteran services?”

“Veteran services?”

“Like the VA. Or any businesses that specialize with helping vets?”

He shook his head.

“Well, I heard you telling Pepper that not getting a lot of sleep wasn’t new to you, so maybe something to consider is seeking out some services up in D.C.”

“Oh. Uh, thanks Col- Rhodey.”

“Yeah no problem. Let me guess, you told Tony and he didn’t react well?”

“That seems like an understatement.”

“He’ll get over it before you leave.  He probably thinks he’s at fault.”

“He’s not.”

“Obviously, and he’ll reach that conclusion soon enough. Just don’t try going up to him and apologizing too much.”

“Yeah, Pepper said the same thing.”

“Well, hopefully D.C. turns out alright, and I hope to talk to you soon- is it alright if I call you Steve?”

“Oh yeah, of course.”

“Hope to talk to you soon, Steve.” He stood up and outstretched it. Steve gladly shook it.

“You too, Rhodey.”

He left, and Steve briefly considered seeking some services when he moved, before he threw himself back into packing up. He wanted to be ready by the time SHIELD was ready to move him.

It was the big day. SHIELD was hauling his (few) things from his room onto a truck that would take it to his new apartment in D.C. Fury was there, overseeing everything, and Steve had spent most of the morning either getting ready, or talking with Natasha and Pepper.

“Be careful with that, will you?” Pepper scolded. Steve gently patted her back.

“It’s alright.”

“No it’s not, it’s your stuff.”

Brock Rumlow, one of SHIELD’s top agents walked up to the trio. He nodded at Steve.

“Rogers.”

“Rumlow.”

“Hey Rumlow.”

“Hey Romanov.”

“You seen Barton anywhere?”

“He’s going to meet us up at D.C. Why?”

“Wanted to see if he was okay. Haven’t seen him since the Sokovia mission went sideways.”

“He’s fine. Annoying, but fine.”

“Good.” Rumlow looked at Steve. “You excited to join SHIELD, Captain?”

Steve stiffly nodded his head. “Can’t wait to do missions and help out people again. Definitely excited.”

Rumlow nodded his head. “Well we’re excited to have you.” He walked away, and Steve looked at him suspiciously. He looked at Natasha.

“Do you like him?”

“Who, Rumlow? Not terribly, but he’s an effective agent.”

Steve still looked at him, but Natasha patted his arm.

“He’s all bark and no bite.”

“Well he’s a SHIELD agent, so that’s not true.”

A SHIELD agent walked up to them. “Captain, your things have been put in the truck.”

“Thank you.” He gave Natasha a side-eye. “SHIELD didn’t have to do this.”

“What kind of agency would we be if we heavily recruited people, but didn’t help them move?”

“A normal one.”

Pepper walked up to him, and he could see some tears forming in her eyes.   
“Pepper…”

“I’m so happy for you, Steve. You should be as comfortable as you can.”

“Thanks. I’m gonna miss you.”   
“Gonna miss you too. Don’t ever hesitate to call.”

“Of course not.” The two hugged.

“Bye Steve.”

“Bye Pepper.” He turned to Natasha. “Time to-”   
“Were you trying to slink out of here without saying bye to me?”

Steve turned to the voice, surprised. He hadn’t spoken with Tony since he told him he was joining SHIELD. He scoffed, and replied bitterly, “What, so we’re on speaking terms now?”

Tony winced, scratching the back of his neck. “I might’ve been a little… rash.”

“That’s an understatement.”

“I’m trying here, Cap. I’m sorry. I responded childishly to your news, when I’m glad you told me. Really, I am. Can I work on your shield some other time?”

Steve’s expression softened into a small smile. “Yeah, of course Tony. Although I have a feeling if I didn’t, you’d just break into my apartment to take it anyway.”

He laughed. “Good point.”

“Alright, you two, hug it out, so we can go to D.C.”

“I have a feeling if we don’t, Natasha will murder us.”

“Then I guess we don’t have a choice.” Steve embraced the smaller man. “Thank you, Tony. You and Pepper were nothing but amazing hosts, and you guys helped me adjust to this time.”

“I kinda felt bad for making fun of the fact that you were in the ice… and I’m glad I got to know you rather than let my father’s behavior cloud my judgment.”

“I’m sor-”

“It’s not your fault.” Tony pulled back, shrugging his shoulders. “Howard wasn’t much of a father. Not much you could do about that.”

“Right…”

“Well, I guess what I’m trying to say is, I was wrong about you. You aren’t  _ that _ much of a stick in the mud.”

Steve laughed. “Oh, what a sweet sentiment. If it means anything, I was wrong about you too. You aren’t a selfish person, Tony, and I was wrong to say it.”

“Well, I have my moments…”

“We all do.”

“Me more than most-”

“Can you just take the compliment?”

“Right, like you can take a compliment well.”

“See you, Tony. Take care of yourself.”

“You too, Cap.”

Steve joined Natasha at the elevator, and they went down to the ground level.

“I was tearing up from your goodbye with Tony.”

“Ha ha, you’re hilarious.”

She smirked at him. “I couldn’t help it.” She pretended to wipe away tears. “It was nearly too much.”

“You’re too much.”

They got off.

“Are you ready, Rogers?”

Steve looked at the truck, the one that would take him out of New York. It was a scary thought, for sure, but it was also an exciting one. He wasn’t sure how much he could take New York, anyway. He loved the city, always would, but he had so many memories here. He needed to make new memories, and it would be hard here. He smiled and nodded his head.

“Yeah. I’m ready.”


	7. SHIELD

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Not really. They’ve never been that important to us. Just a group to watch in case they became more dangerous.”  
> “Do you think they’re dangerous?”  
> He shook his head. “I’ve dealt with dangerous. Natasha’s dangerous. That guy who fired on Brock and I back in Sokovia is dangerous. These are wanna-bes. This is the worst thing they’ve done, and it hasn’t even caused any fatalities or any trips to the hospital. Dangerous is the last thing I’d call them.”  
> “They might’ve killed the contact.”  
> Clint grimly nodded his head. “That’s true.”

Steve quickly realized how much he missed an organized training schedule and leading his own team on a regular basis. Although Tony said that he was the leader of the Avengers, they really hadn’t done any team-related activities since the Invasion of New York. They all had their own agendas, it was hard to pin down a schedule that everyone could accommodate to. Now with SHIELD though, his team met everyday except Thursdays, their rest days. It was easier to connect with his team, and he did like feeling like he was in control of something. He really liked his team too, so that made it all easier.

That first week was the most awkward, as Steve had always had a tough time conversing with people he didn’t know. It got much easier as the week went on, and Steve felt comfortable giving his direction to them. Outside of training, he usually kept to himself, although sometimes he would eat with Reynolds and Jackson, both of whom were on his team. Malia Reynolds was absolutely hilarious, and an avid traveler, if her pictures with her girlfriend were anything to go by. Steve was absolutely touched when she told him she was inspired by his public coming out to come out to her parents. According to her, they were supposed to meet her girlfriend next month, so Steve figured it had gone well. Adrian Jackson was more on the quiet side, like Steve, but he told the best anecdotes. He still sparred with Natasha and helped Clint out as he was trying to get back in proper archery form. All-in-all, Steve was doing well.

His first mission was to investigate some seismic disruptions occurring off the coast of Florida. He met with Fury to go over mission details.

“We’re not sure what it is.”

“You don’t think it’s an earthquake. Or maybe a hurricane?”

“Neither. But we don’t know what’s causing it. Our inside man had not been responding to any of our attempts to contact him.”

“So we possibly have a hostage situation?”

“It certainly is a possibility, but I suspect it is not that optimistic.”

“So are we going into this blind?”

“Not completely. Before our man went off-line, he gave us this info.”

Nick gave him a folder. “You can read it on the way over.”

“And how exactly will we be going over there?”

“The Quinjet. We’ll be dropping your team off to Key West, and you will be taking a speedboat to the little island of Gia.”

“Okay. Let me get the team-”

“Ah, wait a minute, Rogers.”

“Yes?”

“As you can imagine, the stars and stripes aren’t exactly the most inconspicuous disguise.”

“No… it is a little garish.”

“I agree. So, we have the perfect stealth outfit for you. Try it on.” Fury pressed a button, and a panel on the wall, revealing a dark blue outfit with a white star on the center. Steve walked over to it, running his hand over it. He really liked the design, it was chic… but it also wasn’t obnoxious or over-the-top.

“Well?”

Steve cleared his throat. “I-I like the look. I’ll try it on.”

“Thank you, Captain.”

Steve went to the nearest bathroom, and put the outfit on. It fit well, and was easy for him to move around in. He walked back to Fury’s office.

“This seems to be appropriate for the mission.”

“I’m sure your designers will be happy to hear that. Your team is waiting for you on the helipad.”

“Okay-”

“And, Barton will be joining you.”

“Sup.”

Steve turned to see Clint leaning against the frame. He turned back to Fury. “I didn’t realize he was cleared for missions.”

“Got cleared yesterday. We don’t have a problem, do we Captain?”

“None at all, sir. Barton and I will go out there now.”

“Good. I wish you the best of luck, Rogers. Don’t screw up.”

Steve stiffly nodded towards the commander, before heading out. Clint walked alongside him, running his hand over one of the arrows.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were cleared?”

Clint shrugged. “I didn’t realize we’d be working together. I think it was a last minute change.”

Steve abruptly stopped, forcing Clint to come skidding to a stop. “Clint, be honest with me. Are you here to watch me or observe me?”

“Cap…”

“I’m serious. I won’t leave you behind or even tell anyone else, but I would like to know.”

“I’m here to recuperate so that I can go back to the STRIKE team soon. It’s just a stepping stone. You don’t need to worry.”

Steve scanned Clint’s face, but he couldn’t find any indication that he was lying. Clint was a spy, so it might’ve been hard to tell anyway, but Steve wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. He gave him a curt nod. “Okay, let’s go to the Quinjet.”

Steve had gone over the mission details three times on the flight, and had gathered an idea of what each member was supposed to do. He was team leader, and was supposed to do a sweep of the area with Clint, making sure there wasn’t anyone waiting to ambush them. Jackson was in charge of the scientific aspects of the mission, namely finding out what was causing the tremors, and putting a stop to the machine. Reynolds and Benito Sanchez were in charge of navigation and tracking out their path, while Quinn Hansen was supposed to be their driver, both of the boat and of the convoy they were supposed to be using. 

Their target was The Gorgons, some HYDRA wannabes, who had mostly been doing nuisance things, but had been on SHIELD’s radar for some time. Their leader was a woman named Iris Motley, a jilted scientist who had learned about Schmidt and had come to see him as a hero. Although the Gorgons wanted to be taken just as seriously as HYDRA had been back during World War 2, they had hardly done anything of worth. Steve wasn’t that worried about the group, but he was also going to treat this mission with the utmost seriousness. Clint sat down next to him.

“Are you ready?”

“Sure. Why wouldn’t I be?”

He shrugged. “It’s different. Being a spy and being a soldier.”

“I can tell from the training. I don’t think I will ever be much of a spy.”

“Eh, that’s okay. Fake it ‘til you make it.”

“Well, I do have experience with that.”

“Really?”

“Well yeah. Leading, fighting, acting like a… Millennial, I think is the term. Just like you said, I faked ‘til I made it. Or I’m still faking it.”

“Well you’re a great leader and fighter, Cap. Happy to work with you. And you’re not half-bad as a Millennial.”

Steve chuckled. “Appreciate that.”

“Just wondering, why do you want to act like a Millennial?”

“Oh to mess with people who’d assume I’d act like an old man. But still retain some of my ‘old manness’ to mess with people who’d think I’d act like a Millennial.”

He laughed. “Who woulda thought Captain America was a troll?”

“A what?”

“They’re people who go around…” Clint trailed off when he saw the smirk growing across Steve’s face. Clint laughed and slapped his leg. “Dammit, you got me.”

“Had to.”

“You seem to be adapting more to the 21st century.”

“I’ve certainly been trying. You’ve been a big help.”

“No problem.” 

Steve looked at the dossier again. “I can’t believe there are people who want to imitate HYDRA. I mean, I’m not saying people should emulate me or something like that, but HYDRA was a group of Nazis that were defeated with the rest of the Nazis in World War 2.”

“Well there are definitely people who sympathize with Nazi ideals, even today.”

Steve’s jaw nearly dropped open. “Really?”

Clint nodded his head. “I mean, they’re nowhere near as influential as the Nazis of your day, but there are still Nazi sympathizers. They’re called neo-Nazis. Plus, there’s the KKK, so…” Clint scratched the back of his head. “No one told you, Cap?”

Steve shook his head, a little surprised. Not really by the KKK part, racism was so ingrained in America’s development and it was still full in swing in his day (he remembered how hard it was for Sam to get jobs and the fact that he and Jones served in a segregated unit until the Commandos formed), so it still being a part of America wasn’t a shock. But Nazism, he would’ve thought that was a fad that died out when Hitler shot himself in that bunker. “That’s pretty disappointing.”

Clint nodded his head. “Yeah. Like I said though, not the same power.”

“Have you ever dealt with this group before?”

“Not really. They’ve never been that important to us. Just a group to watch in case they became more dangerous.”

“Do you think they’re dangerous?”

He shook his head. “I’ve dealt with dangerous. Natasha’s dangerous. That guy who fired on Brock and I back in Sokovia is dangerous. These are wannabes. This is the worst thing they’ve done, and it hasn’t even caused any fatalities or any trips to the hospital. Dangerous is the last thing I’d call them.”

“They might’ve killed the contact.”

Clint grimly nodded his head. “That’s true.”

Hansen walked over to them. “We’re here, Captain, Barton.”

“Thank you, Hansen.” Steve shut the dossier. “I think I got a plan.”

“You know we’re all ears, Cap.”

Hansen got them to the island pretty quickly. It was still enough time for Steve to give everyone their individual jobs. He had Reynolds and Sanchez plan out two maps. The first was the map that he, Clint, and eventually Reynolds and Jackson would use to find the facility. The second was how Hansen and Sanchez would get to the ride that would pick them up from the facility and drive them back to the boat. He and Clint would scope out the facility, finding the best way in, and the pair of them, plus Reynolds would get Jackson into the facility, so that he could disable the device. Hansen and Sanchez would get them from the outside of the facility, and they’d take the boat back to Key West, where Fury and the Helicarrier would pick them up.

“Does everyone understand their assignments?”

“Yes Captain.”

“Yes sir.”

“Good. Hansen, Sanchez, you guys go get the jeep. Reynolds, Jackson, wait here, Cli- Barton and I will get you soon.”

“Aye aye, Captain.”

Clint got his arrow nocked, and Steve had his shield in hand, and the two followed the map to the facility.

“What do you think we’ll find?”

“Not sure. I’m kinda dreading it, though.”

“I thought you said these guys were barely on SHIELD’s radar?”

“Yeah, I know, that’s partly why I’m nervous. I know this Motley lady is supposed to be smart and all, but biology is her main field of expertise.”

“And this is a device that makes tremors. Meaning that-”

“Someone else probably made this machine. And maybe they are a threat.”

“Well then we need to look out for parts or quirks of the machine that are… unusual. Maybe there’s a calling card of some sort.”

“I’m sure Stark can help with that. He’s still a consultant for SHIELD.”

Steve looked down at the map, when he heard a faint rustling. He held up his hand and Clint stopped. He heard another rustling to the left of him. Steve gestured to the area he heard the noise, and made a motion for Clint to stay quiet. Steve slowly made his way over near the area, and bent down to pick up a rock. Clint was giving him a confused look, but Steve gestured for him to watch. Steve tossed the rock over to where he heard the rustling. Whoever was making the noise, moved, and both Clint and Steve could see the shadow of someone moving. Clint drew back his bow and released, the arrow landing in whatever was making the noise. The object made a noise of pain, and Steve and Clint approached it. There was a little baby rabbit, and Steve’s heart went out to the rabbit. “Oh no.”

“Aw, that sucks.”

Steve gently picked up the rabbit, which was making whining noises. The arrow had caught in the rabbit’s leg. “Do you think it has a family?”

“I’m not sure, probably. Steve, we gotta go.”

“I know that. Should we take the arrow out?”

“Probably. It’s just going to die anyway.”

Steve shot him with a glare, and Clint raised his hands placatingly.

“It’s true. I’m from the country, Cap, I know a little something about hunting. Let me take the arrow out.”

“Be gentle.”

“Steve-”

“Be gentle, Clint.” His voice was stern, and Clint nodded his head.

“Sure thing, Cap.” Clint slowly pulled it out, ignoring the whine coming from the rabbit. “It’s out.”

“Let me wrap a bandage around its leg.”

“Cap-”

“It’ll be quick, Clint.” Steve quickly wrapped a bandage around the rabbit’s leg. “Okay, let’s go scout out the place. The two walked around, following the map Reynolds and Sanchez had drawn up. Within 5 minutes, they reached the facility.

“I’m going to send Reynolds a picture of a map. Hopefully by the time we’re done scoping it out, they’ll be here.”

“Smart.” 

They noticed two guards outside of the entrance of the building.

“You see any cameras, Cap?”

“I think so. Those two circular objects up there. Will they spot us?”

“No idea, but we need to take them out before we storm this place.”

“Can the EMP thing we’re using do that?”

Clint considered it. “Maybe… Only problem is it’ll take out our materials as well. And I don’t know how long it’ll take everything out for. By the time we get to the machine, it might be working again.”

“Hm. Let’s check out the back.”

They snuck around, and saw that the back was also guarded, even more so than the front.

“That doesn’t make sense,” Clint whispered to him.

“Unless the machine happens to be located in the back of the factory.”

“Hmm… good point. How do we get in there?”

“We storm the back of the building.” Steve noticed a guard punch a code into a keypad, and walk inside the building.

“But there’s more guards there.”

“There’s also less time for them to destroy or hide the machine before we get to it.”

“Yeah… that makes sense.”

“Let’s try to meet up with Reynolds and Jackson. Give them the details on the way here.”

“I’m starting to get an idea why they call you one of the best tactical minds in history.”

Steve smirked at him. “Glad to finally live up to the legend.”

They walked out into the forest area, back the way they came. They soon heard rustling in the bushes, and Clint raised his arrow.

“Don’t shoot, Barton. It’s just us.”

Reynolds and Jackson got from behind the bushes, hands raised. Clint lowered his bow and cracked a grin at the pair.

“You two come ‘round here often?”

Reynolds rolled her eyes, but smiled anyway. “Shut up, Barton. I imagine you’re the reason why Jackson and I spotted a bandaged bunny back there?”

“Technically Cap was the one who gave the bunny a bandage.”

“You saw it?”

Jackson nodded his head. “He was just sitting there. Almost like he was waiting for something.”

“We need to forget that for now. We’ve scoped the building.”

“What’s the plan, Captain?”

“We will go in through the back as stealthily as we can. There are more guards in the back, so we suspect that’s where the machine is located, and we don’t want them to destroy the machine before we reach it.”

“Makes sense.”

“Clint will take out the cameras, and I’ll take out the guards. While I’m drawing out the guards, Clint, you watch my six and take out anyone trying to make a sneak attack.”

“Aye aye, Captain.”

“You two will get into the door. There’s a keypad, the code is 8705798.”

“How do you know?”

He shrugged off-handedly. “Saw them punch it in.”

“Damn Cap.”

“Yeah, Cap. Hella impressive.”

He smirked at them. “You all flatter me too much. Okay, enough dawdling, let’s go.”

“You all heard Dad.”

Steve and Clint snuck closer to the back entrance, and Steve made a signal. Clint drew a bow, and took out a camera. The guards looked up and saw the second camera getting taken out. Before they could alert anyone, though, Steve threw his shield at the guards, charging towards them. Four of them charged towards him as well, guns raised. Just as the shield came back to him, they fired. He slammed his shield into the face of one of the guards, and knocked down two others. The other two guards charged at him, firing their guns, and he could see Reynolds and Jackson sneaking to put in the pin number. He was caught off-guard by a knife coming from the side, slashing at his face, before lodging into his left shoulder. He winced in pain, taking a step back. Before the guard with the knife could charge again, an arrow pierced the man’s chest. 

_ Thank goodness for Clint _ , he thought. He gripped his shield tighter and took down the last two, kicking out one of the guard’s legs, and slamming his shield into the face of the other. He rubbed his shoulder and looked over at Clint.

“Thanks.”

“No problem, Cap. Come on.”

The two rushed into the building, and saw Jackson and Reynolds being overwhelmed by some guards.

“Duck!” Steve threw his shield, hitting three guards. Clint shot two guards down.

“Hey, get to the machine! Cap and I can handle these guys.”

They got away as Steve and Clint rushed to the guards. They just had to hold them off long enough for Jackson to disable the machine and for he and Reynolds to get it out of the warehouse. One of the guards managed to punch Steve in the face, but he wasn’t fazed. He punched the guard, who landed against the wall with a sickening crunch. Steve ignored the sound and the associations that came with it, and knocked out a man trying to take out Clint. Clint shot another person, and looked at Steve.

“How much longer do you think?”

He threw his shield at a group of guards approaching. “Hopefully not much longer. I’m not sure how much longer I could-”

The lights shut off, a sign that the EMP had been used. Steve and Clint smirked to themselves, sure that they had the upper hand. Clint sheathed his bow, and charged at the guards, caught unaware by their sudden blindness. Steve punched two guards, and easily dodged the clumsy defense from the guards. After a minute, the lights turned back on, but the damage was already done. They heard an explosion; Reynolds and Jackson had exited the building and probably met up with Hansen and Sanchez. All of the guards were unconscious or dead. They noticed a cage against the wall with a pair of dead rabbits that looked oddly familiar. Steve sucked in his breath when he realized why that was. Clint seemed to figure it out as well.

“Now we know why we saw that baby rabbit alone.”

Steve nodded his head, turning away. They were about to leave, when Steve noticed something that caught his eye. There was a man lying on the ground, groaning in pain. Clint checked him for any weapons, while Steve made sure he stayed awake.

“You work for The Gorgons?”

“F- fuck you, Captain-”

Clint nocked an arrow, and aimed it at the man’s kneecaps. “You better answer the question, asshole. Don’t make him ask again.”

Steve gave Clint a shocked look, but cleared it away and glared at the man. “Do you work for The Gorgons?”

The man nodded his head.

“What’s your master plan here?”

The man just grinned up at them, and Clint stepped on his knee. “Answer you bastard.”

“Fuck you.” He began to choke and bubbles arose from his mouth. Clint swore under his breath.

“Coward. Come on, Cap.”

Steve’s eyes widened in horror, though. He remembered the first HYDRA agent he had caught. He had died the same way too.

“Cap! We gotta go!”

He nodded his head and ran out of the warehouse. Sure enough, Hansen and Sanchez had the convoy, and Jackson and Reynolds were in the back. The machine was on its dolly, waiting for Steve to push it to the boat.

“We were about to launch a rescue.”

“Scold us when we’re safe.” Clint got into the convoy.

Steve strapped the shield to his back, and gripped the dolly’s handles. “Ready Hansen?”

“Yep. Make sure you guys have the Captain’s six. Cap, be careful, because it looks like we have company.”

Steve looked behind him, and noticed guards beginning to rush out of the warehouse.

“Let’s go!” Steve began to push the dolly, and Hansen drove off. The bullets were flying towards him, but luckily for him, the shield protected most of his body, and his legs were moving too quickly to get hit by a bullet. Clint, Jackson, Reynolds, and Sanchez all fired back at the guards, and Steve could feel the number of bullets hitting his shield dwindle.

“We got ‘em all, Cap. We’ll keep our eye out for more.”

“Great guys, thanks.” He kept running wanting to keep an even pace with the convoy, but up ahead, he noticed the baby rabbit. The bandage on its foot was obvious, and all Steve could think about were the bunny’s parents dead in that cage, most likely from the ravages of experimentation. He had to take it with him. He adjusted the dolly and as he came up on the bunny, he easily bent down to pick it up. He kept running as if he hadn’t done anything. Clint was looking at him, confused.

“Cap?”

“Let’s just hurry to the boat.”

Hansen looked at him through her rear-view window. “Did he just pick up a bunny?”

Clint laughed. “Yeah.”

Reynolds shook her head, a smile on her face. “I just saw Captain America save a baby rabbit. What even is my life?”

“Obviously great,” Sanchez laughed.

They got the machine back on the Helicarrier. Steve went to medical, but really only to help the rabbit. His stab wound was already healing. The doctor, a woman named Naomi Patterson, gave him a regretful look.

“Wild rabbits should not be raised in a domestic setting,” she said, “a wildlife preserve can help heal this injured kit.”

“Kit?”

“Baby rabbits are called ‘kits’.”

Steve nodded his head. It’s not like he was attached. How could he be? He had really only known the… kit for an hour. Sure, he rescued it, and it seemed to be calm around him unlike everyone else, but why would he be attached? Tony would call him a sentimental fool, Natasha would say he gets attached too easily (which was just a more diplomatic phrasing of what Tony would say). Hell, Clint already laughed at him, several times. How could he be so attached? He pet the kit’s head.

“Be a fighter, little guy. You’re gonna get better.”

The nurse smiled at him. “I never knew you were an animal person.”

“That’s a bit of an overstatement.”

“Here. This is a place that sells different types of pets. You should check it out sometime.”

Steve took the card from her. “Thank you.” He went back up to do the debriefing. Fury was in a conference room with Clint, Malia, Quinn, Benito, and Adrian.

“Captain, thank you for joining us.”

“Of course.”

“Good job on recovering the machine. Anything you noticed in the warehouse?”

“Animal experimentation,” Steve answered.

“Hmm. Anything else?”

“There was no sign of Iris Motley or any other top Gorgons. Their main base is probably somewhere else.”

“Makes sense. We thought this would be one of their smaller sites. Still no clue about where their main site could be, though?”

“Afraid not sir?”

Quinn cleared her throat. “Sanchez and I found out why Robins hadn’t been responding to any attempts to make contact.”

He grimly nodded his head. “You saw the body?”

“Yes sir. We gave it to Feland. His family will at least have something to bury.”

“Thank you. Anything else of note?”

Steve recalled the man biting on the cyanide tablet. Although he was quite sure that HYDRA did not have a patent on that technique, it was still unnerving. “A- one of the Gorgons killed himself when we tried to question him.”

Clint nodded his head vigorously. “Cyanide capsule. It was in his tooth, or something like that.”

“Is that unique?” Steve looked at Fury. 

“Is what unique, Captain?”

“Replacing a tooth with a cyanide capsule so that you can kill yourself rather than give away secrets.”

“Well… not always by those means. Suicide pills themselves have been used since World War 2, though. It’s been common in espionage circles, so I’m not completely surprised that the Gorgons are using these means for their employees.”

“Hmm.” Steve was unsure, but he didn’t say anything. He was pretty new to espionage, so he didn’t feel comfortable enough to challenge career spies on spying.

“Anything else?”

No one else had anything to say.

“Good. Rogers, I need a mission report on my desk by tomorrow evening.”

“Yes sir.” He went to get out of his dirty and bloody suit, and ran into Natasha on the way.

“Heard you didn’t completely screw up your mission.”

“Those exact words, huh?”

“Well, something close to it. Congrats.”

“Oh, so that was all for a congratulations.”

She smacked his arm playfully. “I also heard you were nursing rabbits back to health.”

He scoffed. “Hardly. It was one. And it was a kit, actually.”

“Kit?”

“Baby rabbit.”

“Ooh, look at you. What are you doing tonight?”

“I’m going to be filling out a mission report.”

“Seriously? Steve, when was the last time you went out for a fun night?”

“I suppose I’ve never had one of those.”

“Have you made any friends since moving here? Non-SHIELD friends?”

“Not… I mean, I have a fairly friendly relationship with a grocer at Whole Foods.”

“Not what I meant. C’mon, Cap, remember that you have a life to live. And it doesn’t have to revolve around saving lives or SHIELD. It’s the 21st century. Explore DC. Make friends. Hell, go out with someone. There are gay bars, dating sites-”

He sighed. “Natasha-”

“I’m just saying, you’re young. Appreciate that.” She walked away. He groaned and went to the locker room. It seemed like their conversations had been heading in that direction often these days. He washed up, and went back to his apartment, where he filled out the mission report and ate Chinese takeout.

There was another person jogging at the Lincoln Memorial at 6 AM. It was certainly a surprise, but it was a pleasant one. He could only see the man from behind, he had long-ish brown hair, and was pretty tall and well-built. As much as he loathed to admit, Natasha had a point about friends. And if there was someone else out here running at ass-crack in the morning, they were pretty much a good choice for a friend. He quickly approached the man, and even though he was telling himself to say ‘hi,’ he instead said, “On your left.” He could only imagine the man’s confusion, and he wasn’t even sure why he said it. It was kinda funny, and soon enough, he was about to lap the man again.

“On your left.”

“Yeah, heard you the first time. Asshole.”

Even though the last part was muttered under the man’s breath, Steve barely caught it. A grin broke on his face, and next time passing the man, he gleefully said, “On your left.”

“Heard you, jackass.”

The next time he was running up behind the man, the man must’ve heard him coming, because he turned and said, “You better fucking not-”

“On your left.”

“Fucker!”

Steve chuckled, taking way too much pleasure in teasing some guy jogging in the morning. He ran one more lap, and noticed the man grimacing under a tree. He ran up to him.

“Hey man.”

“Hey asshole. Gonna need some new lungs ‘cause of you.”

“Your lungs seem to be working out just fine.”

“Yeah pal, you wish.”

Steve noticed the Air Force emblem on James’s sweater. “What unit?”

“58th Pararescue, but now I’m down at the VA. Name’s James Barnes.”

“Steve Rogers.” 

“Well, duh.” James looked up at him. “Must’ve been a shock coming out of the ice, huh? To all this?”

He was suddenly reminded of why he didn’t want to make friends in this century. It was like everyone thought that he wanted to talk about the ice. Or they soon found that was the only thing they found interesting about him. He gave James a strained smile, and said, “Yeah. It was talking to you, Ja-”

“Do you ever feel like a robot?”

Steve turned back to him, his eyebrows drawn together in confusion. “Huh?”

“Robot. You just… you have to do things in an order, and other people look at you and-”

“They’re confused. They don’t get why you like a routine, and it makes you feel like a-”

“Robot, yeah.” James nodded his head a few times before standing up. “I gotta ask, you ever miss the old days?”

“Not as much as everyone thinks. I mean, better racial, gender, and LGBT equality. Polio was all the rage back then-”

James chuckled at that.

“And we used to boil everything. And the internet, man, that’s a timesaver. Just can’t wait to explore more.”

“Oh man,  _ Dark Side of the Moon _ by Pink Floyd. Shit is the bomb, you’ll love it.”

“I’ll add it to the list.” He took out a little pocket book, and wrote it underneath  _ Pulp Fiction _ (suggested by Tony). When he looked back up, James was grinning at him, and Steve could almost hear Natasha beckoning him to ask him out. He shook his head at the idea, though. No way.

“What’s up with the head shake?”

He was caught off-guard. Was he really doing that? “Just thinking about my friend. She’s always trying to get me to date.”

He laughed. “That can be a downside of friends. Although, if you’re interested, I could probably set you up with someone.”

“Afraid my friend is already trying to do that.” Steve got a text.  _ Mission alert. Extraction imminent. Meet u at the curb. :) _

“Ah. My sister’s the same way. Has a boyfriend and thinks she’s an expert on relationships all of a sudden.”

“Well, it was nice running with you, James. I mean, if you honestly wanna call that running.”

James gave him a shocked look before laughing. “That’s how it is, asshole?”

“That’s how it is.”

A car pulled up alongside the car, and the window rolled down, revealing Natasha.

“Hey fellas. Either of you know where the Smithsonian is? I’m here to pick up a fossil.”

“Can you believe she thinks she’s funny?”

James chuckled, and looked past Steve at Natasha. She grinned at him, and Steve noticed the faint blush coloring his face, and smirked at him.

“Can’t run everywhere.”

 “No, you can’t.” James waved at Natasha. “Hey.”

Steve got in the car, and Natasha smiled at James.

“Thanks for watching over Steve. We didn’t want him to get lost.”

He smiled at her, chuckling a bit. “Yeah. It was… yeah, no problem.”

Steve smirked at him and mouthed, “Boo,” several times. James scoffed and waved to them before continuing his job. She drove off.

“You should ask him out.”

She quickly looked over at him. “What?”

“You should ask him out. You like him.”

“I just met him.”

“So? It’s pretty obvious.”

“You ask him out-”

“No. He seems interested in you, anyway.”

“No way, Jose.”

“Oh, it’s okay for you to set me up with people, but not the other way around.”

“It’s just different, Steve. Oh, speaking of which-”

“No.”

“I know someone you’d like. He works at Vons as a grocer, and his name is Murray.”

“No, Natasha, I’m not dating Murray the grocer.”

“Why are you saying it like that? What, you don’t want to date him because he’s a grocer?”

“What, no. It’s because  _ you _ know him. Which either means that he’s not a grocer or he’s a grocer and he doesn’t know who you are.”

“Fine. Helen knows a guy, a doctor, they run in the same circles. His name is Stephen, and-”

“No.” He gave her an incredulous look. “I’m not dating someone with the same name as me.”

“What? But he’s a doctor. A neurosurgeon to be exact-”

“That doesn’t matter. He still has the same first name as me.”

“It’s spelled with a ‘ph’.”

“That doesn’t make things better. Would you date a guy who goes by ‘Nat?’”

“I guess not. It’s not a deal breaker for me though. I heard he’s smart.”

“You didn’t look him up? Why Natasha, I’m so shocked.”

“Whatever. Just in case you want to look him up-”

“I don’t.”

“His last name is Strange.”

“I don’t care about that. And it’s not like yours is exactly normal either.”

“What? And it’s normal by Russian standards.”

“So, what’s his last name? Or can you not pronounce it?”

“It’s Strange.”

“Yeah, you- nevermind. I don’t want to look him up, anyway. I’m not dating someone with the same first name as me. No matter how strange his last name is.”

She considered explaining it once more, but decided against it. “Your loss.”

“I’m sure it is. What’s this mission about anyway?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for how long this has taken. It's been hard balancing school and everything else in my life, so I've only been able to update this slowly. I'm glad to be able to finally update it, though! I hope you all enjoy and thank you for reading!


	8. HYDRA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pierce relaxed in his seat and poured himself some champagne. “Would you like any, Soldier?”  
> He didn’t answer, he knew he couldn’t. Choices weren’t something that was given to him, and even trying to answer would have gotten him a severe punishment. Besides, he didn’t need to make any decisions when he knew his handlers always made the best decisions in his interest and the interest of the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Sexual assault occurs. It is not violent nor graphic, but it shows a brainwashed character performing oral sex, so there is some overt non-con/rape happening there. It starts from "Good. Spread you legs" to "We didn't tell you to get up."

“Soldier, what is the last mission you remember?”

The Soldier was sure there was something he was missing, but all he could recall was Odessa in 2009. That wasn’t his last mission, though. He was positive about that. He must’ve been silent for too long, because his handler, Pierce, smacked him across the face.

“Soldier, what is the last mission you remember?”

“2009. Odessa. Faust, the mission was successful.”

“Excellent.”

The Soldier didn’t visibly react, but he was confused. Why was his handler proud that he could not remember a mission?  Perhaps it was one that he needed to forget. He couldn’t imagine why that would be the case. He ignored these thoughts coming to him, sending them to the back of his head. He needed to be focused for whatever mission Pierce needed him on. There were a few knocks on the door, and Pierce turned to it, annoyed.

“Who is it?”

“Rumlow, sir.”

“Oh. Come in.” He looked at The Soldier. “You will be coordinating with Rumlow for your next mission, do you understand?”

The Soldier nodded his head. A well built man approached them. The man gave The Soldier a quick glance before looking back at Pierce.

“Rogers and his team ambushed the Gorgon’s Gia location.”

“Motley wasn’t there, was she?”

“No sir. All they got was that useless machine. It’ll hold them off.”

“Not for long, I’m sure. I’m beginning to suspect that Nick is suspecting something. His behavior is… off, even for him.”

“Do we send him after Fury?”

The Soldier’s back straightened. They were talking about him.

“I’ll hold off for now. I don’t want to draw any attention if it turns out Nick never suspected anything in the first place. Does Rogers seem fine?”

Rumlow shrugged. “Keeps to himself. He has been getting closer to Romanov, though. That’s something to keep an eye on.”

“I wouldn’t be too concerned about that. Any cordial behavior Rogers shows to Romanov is a formal matter. He won’t bring himself to trust a former spy. Especially one such as… aloof as Agent Romanov. Is Rollins still looking after her?”

“Yes sir. Brooks is watching Hill and Sitwell is watching Barton.”

“Did Hansen do her part?”

“Yep. She killed the bastard, and Rogers nor anyone else noticed or even suspected her.”   
“Good. Oh, can you find a way to get Sitwell on the Lemurian Star?”

“Sure.” Rumlow’s brows furrowed. “Why do you need him on the boat?”

Pierce took a sip of some water, and regarded Rumlow coolly. “I don’t believe it’s in your place to question my decisions? Do you?”

“Uh, no sir.”

“Smart answer. You may leave now, Agent.”

“Yes sir.” He looked over at The Soldier. “Does he need to be wiped?”

“He was just wiped. Take him down to the range though. This will be his most important mission yet.”

He wondered what made this mission so special. Rumlow was giving him an impatient look.

“Move your ass, will you?”

He looked over to Pierce, who waved him off.

“Listen to him.”

He went with Rumlow to the shooting range. Rumlow handed him a gun. It didn’t have real bullets in it, he knew that.

“Hit the targets, Soldier.”

He did with quickness, accuracy, and precision. Rumlow whistled when he finished.

“Damn impressive, Soldier. Although I suppose that’s just par for the course.”

The Soldier didn’t have a response to that, although he was sure that one was not expected. He was not used for pointless conversation. Rumlow looked at him, handing him another gun.

“Go again.”

Things were tense. He could tell. He was standing next to Pierce, whose brows were furrowed and whose lips were pursed. His handler was…  _ pissed _ , to put it bluntly.

“Sir, we are not sure what is going on with Fury. He is behaving paranoidly.”

_ Not a word _ , his mind supplied. The Soldier smirked to himself before remembering himself. Pierce sighed heavily.

“Do you think he is suspecting us?”

“Not at all.” The HYDRA agent scratched the back of his neck. “Or, at least, that’s not the theory we’re working with.”

“Oh? Then what, pray tell, is the theory you’re working with?”

“Well sir, we think this may have to do with the upcoming Leumerian Star mission. It is rather risky, and it might put him on thin ice with the Council.”

“How confident are you that Fury doesn’t suspect us?”

“100%.” The HYDRA agent's confident expression withered under Pierce’s glare. “95%... 85%, at least.”

Pierce stood up, sighing, and handed The Soldier a gun. “I really don’t care for incompetence. Soldier, dispatch him please.”

“Wai-”

He shot him before he could hear the man’s pleas. He had heard so many of them before, that he was practically immune to them. Pierce looked at him.

“Why does it seem that no one can do their job? It’s almost like I have to do everything by myself.”

He stood there, appraising his handler’s words, knowing he didn’t want a response, but also not knowing what to make of the words. He wondered if his handler viewed him so lowly as well.

_ Of course he does, opezdol, _ he thought.  _ You are nothing more than dirt, you know that. _ Of course he knew that. It was one of the few things he knew about himself. It was all he really had to know about himself. He felt a rough slap.   
“Let’s  _ go _ Asset. We’ve got people to see.”

He nodded his head and followed Pierce. He had no idea why he hadn’t been put to work yet. He had been training since he had been defrosted, but it hadn’t been particularly rigorous or stimulating. He had spent most of his time watching over Pierce. He would do similar things for Karpov, but Karpov had frequently met with enemies and people he needed protection from. So far, though, Pierce had only been meeting with allies. “Where are we going, sir?” The question escaped him before he could stop himself. Pierce looked at him, a cold look etched on his face. “Is there a reason you are questioning me, Asset?”

The Soldier stiffened, internally cursing his own stupidity. “No sir.”

“Good.  _ Don’t _ do it again, or you will regret it. Do I make myself clear?”

He nodded his head. Pierce stared at him for a few more seconds, before relaxing.

“Let’s go.”

He followed Pierce to a car parked in the lower level of the building. There was a woman waiting there for them with a smile on her face.

“Hello Secretary Pierce. Hail HYDRA.”

“Iris. Hail HYDRA.”

“Imagine my surprise when I hear my lab on Gia had been raided by SHIELD agents.”

“I can imagine you were very surprised.”   
“That’s putting it rather mildly. They destroyed and disabled my machines, Alexander. Did you know this would happen?”

“I might’ve had an inkling.”

The woman still had a smile on her face, but The Soldier could tell how strained it was. “And you didn’t say anything? That seems counterintuitive to our relationship.”

“I certainly couldn’t tip you off, now could I? Or else there would be questions as to how you would have known there was a raid coming? I did it in our best interest.”

“ _ Our _ best interest? It doesn’t seem like that to me. It only seems like you’re looking out for yourself. Although, I shouldn’t be surprised by that.”

Pierce’s face became cold. “Don’t be stupid. There was only so much I could do.”

“What if I had been there? Would you have let me die?”

“Don’t you think I had an idea of where you were? And I would be very careful with what you’re implying.”

She huffed and loosened up, relaxing her body language. “Why did you insist on a meeting?”

“We’re moving along with Project Insight.”

Her eyebrows raised. “We are? I didn’t think we’d be moving along so quickly.”

“We don’t have much of a choice. We’re at a tipping point between order and chaos, and there is serious concern that Fury may have suspicions.”

“About what?”

“Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to get a straight answer to that question.”

“Do you think he’ll be willing to still continue with Project Insight?”

“If he’s not, I happen to have a contingency plan. I’d like to know sooner rather than later, though.”   
“Is there anything you’d like for me to do?”

“Just make sure your men are ready. The Gorgons and HYDRA’s alliance will help the world usher in a new era of order.”

“You have an ally in us, Secretary Pierce.”

“Good. That’s all I needed to talk about, goodbye Iris.”

She looked around, confused. “You want me to get out of the car?”

“It’s mine. Why would I want you still in it?”

She looked as if she wanted to protest, but thought better of it, and nodded her head towards Pierce, while eyeing the Soldier suspiciously. No one nodded their head in respect towards him. He didn’t deserve such respect and he knew it. Pierce tapped the divider. It rolled down, revealing his driver.

“Please take us to The Facility.”

“Yes sir.”

Pierce relaxed in his seat and poured himself some champagne. “Would you like any, Soldier?”

He didn’t answer, he knew he couldn’t. Choices weren’t something that was given to him, and even trying to answer would have gotten him a severe punishment. Besides, he didn’t need to make any decisions when he knew his handlers always made the best decisions in his interest and the interest of the world.

“You will continue training here.”

He saw some lower-level HYDRA agents, who were seemingly awed by his presence.

“We are experiencing some… possible setbacks, so we want you training the best you can, in case we need you for a firefight.”

“Yes sir.”

“Good. I knew you’d understand. You will be under a strict regimen here, and Leto here will be your handler.”

A tall, muscular man with slicked back red hair approached them. His posture was erect and by the way he carried himself, The Soldier knew he was a man of importance.

“Thank you for agreeing to watch over him, Leto.” 

“Of course. It was an honor to be asked, Secretary Pierce.”

“Hopefully he won’t be needed and we can put him back on ice. If not, though, I want him to be at his best. This could be hi-  _ our _ biggest mission yet.”

“I understand, sir.”

“And you are aware of his dietary schedule?”

“Yes sir.”

“And all that you may and may not do to him?”

“Yes sir.”

“Wonderful.” He looked at The Soldier. “Listen to Leto, understood?”

He nodded his curtly. Pierce nodded his head, and spun on his heel, walking out. Once Pierce was out of range, Leto slapped him.

“Follow me.”

The Soldier was not sure what he had done incorrectly to receive punishment, but he was determined not to let it happen again. He quickly caught up to Leto, making sure to remain two steps behind him, and listen to his words.

“... and these are you living quarters.” He opened a door, revealing a room about the size of a broom closet. “Understood?”

He nodded his head. 

“Good. I’ll come get you when we need you to train.”

He nodded his head once more and walked into the closet. Leto roughly slammed it after him, but at least he wasn’t slapped this time. He rested against the wall, not terribly disturbed by the diminutive size. He needed to make sure he was ready for when Leto came to get him, so that he would not disappoint his temporary handler.

“Let’s go, Soldier.”

The Soldier was not sure how long it had been, but he knew it had been longer than he had been expecting. He followed afterwards though, excited to train and show off his prowess. However, rather than being taken to a shooting range or training area of any kind, he was taken to a lab. He knew not to question his handler, but he was confused. He noticed a large chair in the middle of the lab, similar to the one in Pierce’s lab, and he slightly stiffened. Leto turned to him and gave him an annoyed look.

“Strip.”

He promptly took off his clothes, and stood at rapt attention. A doctor came in with several HYDRA agents. Leto spat at the Soldier’s feet and walked past him.

“Call me when you’re done. He still needs to do training.”

He heard the door slam behind him. The doctor walked up to him, examining him.

“When was the last time you received nutrition?”

“Three days ago, at approximately 5:37 PM. Protein-based, flavorless, with Vitamin A, Vitamin C, and Calcium supplements as well.”

“I see. Are you requiring nutrition?”

“Not at this moment, no.”

“How is your arm?”

“Functional. Operating at maximum efficiency.”

“Good. Spread your legs.”

The Soldier did and he had a feeling of what was going to happen. The doctor walked closer to him, going over his body with eyes. He donned a pair of latex gloves, and walked behind him. Without warning, he felt the doctor’s hand enter his ass. He clenched subconsciously, despite knowing that would garner some sort of punishment.

“Did you flinch, Soldier?”

“Sorry sir.”

The doctor removed his hand and walked back in front of The Soldier. “Get on your knees.”

He dropped to his knees, of course knowing what would happen. The doctor walked up to him and dropped his pants. The Soldier put his mouth where he knew he had to, and just went through the motions. He would much rather be training right now, but he understood that he had obligations to fulfill as The Soldier and this was one of them. It finished with the ejaculation of the doctor’s semen, and moved to spit it out, but a HYDRA agent came up from behind, and covered his mouth.

“Swallow Soldier.”

He did as he was told, and was shoved to the ground by the agents. He went to stand, but a guard kicked him in the ribs.

“We didn’t tell you to get up, Soldier.”

He remained on the ground and looked up at the doctor, who was observing him silently, once again, slowly pulling up his pants.

“Let’s see if his pain tolerance has changed. Get out the prods.”

A guard pulled something out of a case, and when he turned it on, electricity crackled from it. He tensed, but then relaxed, as he knew there was nothing he could do to avoid this. The doctor looked down at him, his expression neutral and unreadable.

“This is only for research purposes, Soldier. Do you understand?”

He didn’t think he did, but he nodded his head, nonetheless. Disobedience was punished swiftly and there was no tolerance for it. Besides, as HYDRA said, order came through pain. He got to his knees, making sure to stay in that position.

The shock caught him off-guard. There was no warning or yell or anything like that. He grunted in pain, but managed to stay upright. Another shock came, and he winced, the pain was intense. It was almost as if his flesh was melting off of him. He took deep, shuddering breaths, hoping that his resolve had impressed the doctor enough to stop the tests. He was not so fortuitous, though, and this time, he felt two places where the prods had made contact with his skin. A louder groan had escaped him, but he had not yelled out in pain.

“Keep going. I want to push him to his limits.”

His neck was the next part of his body to receive a shock, and a scream tore through his throat. It felt like his nerves were on fire, and he stood up. The guards charged at him, but his instincts took over. He punched one in the throat, and kicked out the other’s knee before elbowing him in the face. He was soon surrounded by men holding guns. The doctor walked up to him, his face still unreadable, before stopping a few inches in front of him. His head whipped to the side from the slap, but by now, whatever had caused him to snap had died inside of him.

“Who do you think you are? You are never to lay a hand on a HYDRA agent unless in a controlled combat session. You are aware of that, right?”

He nodded his head.

“Perhaps you are not fully compliant. Strap him to the chair.”

“But sir, Secretary Pierce-”

“Pierce would approve. The Soldier’s behavior is too erratic. Strap him to the chair and do not make me repeat myself.”

Two guards grabbed him by the arm and forcefully sat him down in the chair. He wondered how Pierce would feel when he found out, because he inevitably would. The clamps came down on his arm, holding him into place. The halo came down on his head, and he once again said goodbye to the few memories he had made in his time out of cryostasis.

“I can’t believe you did this without my permission.”

“He was being disobedi-”

“Shut it, Calloway.” Pierce took steadying breaths and looked over at The Soldier, who had his normal vacant expression. He briefly wondered if anything was going on behind the scenes, in his brain. With all the damage that’s been caused to it over the years, the obvious answer would be no, but he had an impressive healing factor. He sighed and rubbed his hand over his face.

“Tell me again what happened, from the top.”

“I told you everything, sir.”

“Well then tell me again. I mean, because as far as you’ve told me, no memories were surfacing, he didn’t seem to be disobeying-”

“He was-”

“Don’t interrupt.” Pierce shook his head and sighed once more. “So please explain.”

“We brought him in here to test his pain tolerance and do a routine checkup-”

“That’s where my first problem is. We do checkups at headquarters.”

“Yes, I know-”

“Are you implying that our doctors are incompetent? That they are somehow inferior to you?”

“No, not at all.”

“Then why even perform a checkup?”

“Because I imagined there had been a few days time in between his last checkup and us receiving him. I wanted to make sure that he was still in working condition.”

Pierce considered this and nodded his head. “Yes, that makes sense. Then what happened?”

“I checked up on him, asked a few questions and he was fine. Then I tested his pain tolerance. He was obedient, until he was getting shocked by two guards. The first time, he was fine, but then the second time, he was aggressive and volatile and I knew we had to subdue him.”

“So, from the time that the two guards attacked simultaneously the second time until he was strapped to the chair, he was volatile?”

“Well… not exactly-”

“How long was he in such a state?”

The doctor hesitated and let out a laboring sigh. “5-10 seconds top.”

“5-10 seconds? And he wasn’t questioning your authority, he just reacted to being shocked? And you felt that was sufficient enough to wipe him without my permission?”

“Sir-”

“Why did it take you 3 days to report this?”

The doctor looked gobsmacked and his mouth opened and closed several times, but he had no response. Pierce nodded his head, weighing everything he had been told.

“Was that all that occurred?”

The doctor was caught off-guard by that. “Pardon?”

“I asked if you omitted any information. Anything that could be particularly important to mention?”

He shook his head, eyes wide with fear. “N-no sir.”

Pierce sighed and pulled out a gun. The doctor took a few steps back, giving Pierce a betrayed look.

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“You’re right. Not really my thing. It is his, though. Soldier, kill this man.”

The Soldier easily took the gun from his hand and though the doctor pleaded, he effortlessly shot him in the head, right through the center. 

_ Serves that bastard right for making me suck his dick. _ Where had that come from? He had been in the chair, meaning any previous memories should’ve been erased. The doctor hadn’t done anything like that since he had gotten out of the chair, so it must’ve been a previous memory. He lowered the gun and handed it to Pierce, hoping he hadn’t sensed any oddness in The Soldier’s movements. Pierce took it and he didn’t seem to regard him any differently. He needed to keep things that way. 

_ Weapons shouldn’t have secrets. _ What Pierce didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. This was minor. He could keep it to himself.

“Soldier. We need to act. I have a target for you.”

Pierce handed him a picture. The man had a tone similar to his, dark brown, and he wore a black eyepatch. He was dressed in leather and he had an imposing figure.

“This is SHIELD director, Nicholas J. Fury. I need him dead in 12 hours. Do  _ not _ fail, Soldier. World peace is riding on the actions we make over the next few days.”

He nodded his head. He would not fail.

Fury had been killed, he was sure of it. The bastard was hard to kill, but a shot in the chest after what he had been through must’ve been fatal. Fury wasn’t his focus anymore, though. A man was pursuing him, and he was an individual of impressive physical stature and accomplishment as well. He had never met anyone that could actually keep up with him in a dead sprint. He was reaching the end of the roof, and he didn’t have anywhere to go. He heard a faint whooshing from behind, and quickly spun around, catching a large metal disk. It was lightweight and oddly enough, familiar. The man pursuing him stopped, giving him a confused look. The Soldier felt confused as well, and a lot of emotions were coming up to the surface. He needed to get away. There was something familiar, yet uncomfortable about all this. With all his might, he threw the disk back at the man, dropping down onto a window ledge and sneaking into the building. He quickly went down the stairs, and left out the back, hurrying back to Pierce’s apartment as quickly as he could.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading! Hopefully everyone is staying safe and quarantining! Hope you all are doing well, and once again, thank you.


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